[video; after Murderworld]

[fuckaccuracy]

Hello to all of you my new-

[Whatever she was about to say, Gaige was immediately distracted because future and really advanced tech.]

... Wow.

[Back to her audience.]

Anyways, not that this isn't really freakin' cool and all, and you guys did sort make the best choice EVER in picking me to save the universe or whatever but, uh...

Does everyone here have some sort of power? Like, they tried to run this scan on me and couldn't even figure out what I ended up with. The machine broke right in the middle of the test.

Can you believe it?

Oh, and if that wasn't bad enough-

[Hold that thought, as Gaige's omnicom just sort of decided to crap out on her, the feed being lost for a few moments.]

Okay what the hell? Seriously, is all the equipment here this crappy?

Comments

[wherenoonegoes]

Not usually? Maybe making technology randomly malfunction is your power.

[fuckaccuracy]

What the hell?

That's stupid.

[wherenoonegoes]

Best guess I have. It's not like I have a lot of experience with this sort of thing.

[fuckaccuracy]

You're like, absolutely no help at all.

[way to make a good impression.]

[prettycoolguy]

I think Hiccup's onto something. Maybe a magnetic field. You'd think they'd figure that one out in the lab, though.

[fuckaccuracy]

Yeah I don't really buy that.

[She shifts the Omnicom to her left arm, which is pretty metal.

As in, actual metal.]

See this bad boy right here? Been doing just fine.

[prettycoolguy]

But how fine are the electronics in that?

[ He may or may not be making a mental note to keep his armor well back from Gaige until the source of this nonsense is found. ]

[fuckaccuracy]

Uh, let me find out.

[You then hear an off-camera sound of metal hitting against metal.]

Just punched the wall. Still working just fine.

[prettycoolguy]

[ Alright, he'll consider that non-delicate. ]

It might not be sensitive enough to be affected by a field, then. I'd experiment a bit before playing with anything too expensive.

[fuckaccuracy]

Meh, I'm almost positive it'll be no big deal. I mean, seriously, what's the worst that could happen?

[Could she be any less reassuring.]

[prettycoolguy]

...A number of things.

[The Chief is wearing an expressionless mirrored faceplate, but somehow still manages to emote r u for real.]

[fuckaccuracy]

Relax, it'll be fine! Trust me, I got this t-[more static and a loud 'bzzzt'] ... under control!

[the_civilian]

Considering that we're currently in outer space and the only time we've had any significant technological glitches before now was sabotage, I'm gonna go with Hiccup and Wash on the idea that your powers are related to the difficulties you're having.

[Tadashi grimaces.]

Aaaand until we figure it out, you and I are going to have to stick to comms. I'm sure you're a perfectly fantastic person, but speaking of stupid powers, I need the tech I'm wearing to keep preventing me from lighting things on fire.

[And, on that note:]

I'm Tadashi Hamada by the way. Nice to meet you, wish the circumstances were better.

[fuckaccuracy]

Hang on a sec.

You can light stuff on fire but you don't want to? What the hell is wrong with you?

[the_civilian]

There's nothing wrong with me. I just don't want to light things on fire by accident.

Because, as it turns out, people are included under the 'flammable' heading.

[fuckaccuracy]

Yeah? So?

I mean, let's be real here.

They probably had it coming.

cw: death

[the_civilian]

[Tadashi goes very, very still for a moment. He takes a deep breath, and his voice is quiet and measured when he answers.]

Only the fact that Time Trapper plucked me out of my reality and dumped me here saved me from dying in a burning building. I went in there to try and save my teacher who, as it turned out, set the fire so that he could steal my little brother's invention. He didn't care who got hurt or died along the way, and neither does fire. But I have lived here for the past few months knowing that the only thing that stands between me and traumatic, painful death by fire or crushing or both is whatever metric some mysterious asshole uses to keep us here.

That statement was thoughtless and inconsiderate and I invite you to rethink it.

[fuckaccuracy]

Yeah that sucks and all? But that ain't happening.

[the_civilian]

Okay. Can I ask you why?

[fuckaccuracy]

Because... I don't want to? Like, seriously.

[the_civilian]

I'm trying to understand. If you think that most people deserve to be lit on fire, then why would you want to be a super hero?

[fuckaccuracy]

Like I said, if they have it coming? Sure, why not.

You ever stop to think that maybe bad things should happen to bad people?

[the_civilian]

And you think everyone "has it coming"?

[fuckaccuracy]

I mean, I guess there's some people out there who aren't actual douchebags.

The hell is it to you?

[the_civilian]

Because you just suggested that there was something wrong with me that I don't want to accidentally light people on fire.

[fuckaccuracy]

God you're a wimp.

So what if you do? I accidentally killed someone before, too. Watched her get sprayed all over the walls in my school's auditorium.

Looking back, it was probably the best thing that could've ever happened to me.

[the_civilian]

Unbelievable.

[Aaaaaand he's done here. Hanging up and saving a copy of this conversation because he has some SERIOUS CONCERNS about this person.]

[legionnpcs]

Yeah, let's keep that kind of talk where it belongs: in the past.

I don't particularly care what you got up to before, but pulling that kind of nass here will just get you tossed into Takron-Galtos.

[fuckaccuracy]

The heck is that supposed to be?

[legionnpcs]

[He sighs.]

If you commit Space Murder we put you in Space Jail.

[fuckaccuracy]

Oh yeah. I forgot that happens back in civilization.

You know, with laws, and junk.

Lame.

[legionnpcs]

On the bright side, you've always got action figures.

[...That they don't receive royalties for.]

[fuckaccuracy]

Please. Do you really think a scientist like me would be entertained by children's toys? As if!

[......]

What kind of action figures we talking about?

[legionnpcs]

Well, you've got the action figures, with voices, holographic power displays, and sixteen points of articulation, then you've got the high priced figure figures with seamless articulation, motor functions, kung fu action grip, smart accessories, and limited AI.

But those're expensive.

[fuckaccuracy]

Yeah, but. If you want the good stuff, it's better to just pay up, you know?

Or you could just take someone else's. That's kind of what I did before, whenever I saw something nice.

[She sure is encouraging stealing.]

[googledox]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with your omnicom. They're created via an automated process in the lab and triple-checked by myself.

[Brainy rubs his chin.]

Have your powers been properly identified? Some powers can short out electronics. Bgztlians, for instance, disrupt technology when they phase through it.

[fuckaccuracy]

Yeah, uh, they ran a bunch of tests but couldn't tell me anything. Some future.

[googledox]

That may mean that your power had the ability to disrupt the scans themselves.

[fuckaccuracy]

So what you're saying is...

My power is actually really freakin' amazing.