Voice

[goddamngrenades]

[ Roughly fifteen, twenty minutes after Amercia's very helpful Anti-Sugar PSA (the more you know and all that Jazz) a random joke has become a thing. Out of...if not spite, but a desire for mischief. ]

Who's up for a bake-off? It's a mini competition where you, well, bake your best pie or cake or cookies or pastry or whatever you like, as long as baking is involved somehow, and submit them to categories of some kind to be judged and awarded prizes. Bragging rights are mostly what you get out of it, but- I figure we can have a little scientific application here. The Categories will be Baked with Artificial Sweeteners, Baked with Natural sugars- apples, cherries, letting fruit do the work and stuff- and Baked with good old fashioned sugar.

And a bonus category for baking while baked something that'll get you baked, if you get my meaning. Apparently it's entirely legal in some sectors in the vegan space future- or at least variations on the same. Who knew? Let's double dip in vices.

Totally not connected to the whole 'sugar is evil' thing, nope, not even a little. This is some good, clean, spite free fun. Honest. Is this the voice of a man that would lie to you?

Bring on your baked goods and, uh- I'm gonna need some volunteers to help as judges. Actual Judge experience not required.

Comments

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[letsgohurtpeople]

[Kyou narrows his eyes.]

I'm going to destroy you all.

[He stops narrowing his eyes and his tone sounds less threatening.]

At baking.

[Yes, the ninja bakes. Both his parents were as good at baking as they were at ninjutsu and that was very, very good. He used to bake with them.]

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[lovernotafighter]

I've gotta ask: do you take lessons in drama, or is this shit all natural?

[Seriously, he's honestly curious.]

[letsgohurtpeople]

This one wasn't so much drama as hyperbolic deadpan humor.

But yeah, it's a ninja thing. We're all mass cloned and genetically engineered to be dramatic enough for the job.

[He says it completely deadpan.]

I've got a bar code on my abs and everything.

[goddamngrenades]

You, I like. I'll give you bonus points in the judging if you can work a smoke bomb into your pastry.

[letsgohurtpeople]

Alright, if you want get all Cutthroat Kitchen about it, sure. Why not.

I reserve the right to possibly use meringue.

[goddamngrenades]

I encourage meringue. I very much encourage meringue. Not that I'm at all biased here.

[unrecovered]

[Wash holds up a hastily-made sign with an 8 on it. Look, he's judging you already.]

[letsgohurtpeople]

You can't prejudge my baking! You haven't even tasted anything yet.

[unrecovered]

I'm not judging your baking; I'm judging your acting.

I'll judge your baking later.

[letsgohurtpeople]

That's not acting. That was a joke! I just have a naturally growly and dramatic voice that makes it sound like I gargle glass before breakfast.