thelegion | [Video]

They're all a bunch of pervs, deviants, and freaks.

[No, he's not elaborating. But needless to say, Rico is not finding this funny.]

You know them all personally, buddy?

No, but I know their type. Bored spugwit cits with no jobs and nothing to do but sit around their apts gawking at their screens.

Also, I'm not your 'buddy'.

That's almost like English! Good job.

Would you prefer pal? Sport? Teambro? I've got two wingmen already.

It is English. And I would prefer Judge Dredd. Or alternatively, Arbitrator.

And it'd figure you would need two wingmen if this is the way you talk.

I'd prefer Zarblatt, King of the Balls, but alas it hasn't caught on yet.

Two wingmen, two times the fun. They're like the DoubleMint twins. [ Yeah, he has no idea what he means at this point. ]

When you say Judge Dredd, am I dealing with the same sort of stick in the same sort of mud that Beeny was when she got here?

Do not engage him like that.

He isn't like me at all.

Ah, come on. I'm not even being that OTT. He's crustier than you ever were and needs to lighten up.

Actually, I'm sorry to you. For comparing you to him. You're all right. [ Robbie's surprised she's speaking to him, after the LL. ]

No joking. I've already mentioned this to Kid Quantum and a few others, but he'll play along as long as he doesn't know that I know his record.

Did you ever see that old movie, Training Day? It's banned now, but probably not when you were letting your spandex ride up.

The one where the really good cop is partnered with the new guy and it turns out he's actually a really bad cop who makes the new guy take drugs and is totally on the make and trying to steal like a million bucks by the end of the day but the new guy stops him in the street and the crowd won't shoot him so new guy walks with the stolen money to go turn the old cop in but the old cop gets killed by the mob instead?

[ Yeah, he's seen it. ]

I'm not liking where this is going. Also, my spandex is exactly where it needs to be. It helps if you're wearing the right undies.

Oh, good. I don't need to explain why it's banned.

Rico Dredd is as dirty as you can get. He's a Judge killer, a drug dealer, and worse. You're not the only one I've told this to, but I should have predicted you'd needle him.

The only reason he's even sort of playing along at the moment is because he doesn't know I know what he's done, how he lives, and how he dies. Antagonize him too much and you risk an 'accident' during a mission. Keep that in mind.

Why would it - you know what? I'm just not going to ask why questions about your world. I think we'll both be happier.

I am going to ask why questions about here though. Why is Kid Q letting him stay on the team? And don't give me the "we don't judge people on what they did elsewhere" line. If you're warning me that he's going to arrange an accident cause he's got no sense of humor, it's a little more hardcore than soldiers rationalizing lethal force.

And I think that's already extreme. Just ... I want to defer to you two. I do. But I don't want to be stuck with that attack each other again.

They're letting Locus stay on the team and he tried to commit genocide.

I'm not questioning why the Legion does these things anymore. I don't understand them and I won't pretend to. This is just your warning, he doesn't play by my rules.

Yeah, I know.

[ Robbie thinks he has a finite amount of rope before he gets himself in trouble in this conversation. He doesn't continue the debate of how many unsuitable teammates there are, as Robbie is certain that she will classify him as unfit for the team now. ]

Why questions are the worst, because there's never a good answer. I've never asked 'why?' and gotten an answer that didn't land between facepalming and wanting to punt someone into the East River.

Thanks for the heads up. I'll... keep it in mind, but don't get too pissed when I don't listen. He was a dick before you told me he's a bad cop.

Judge Beeny is a respected colleague and a member of the Council of Five.

Don't talk about her like that unless you don't want to keep your teeth.

[Honestly, don't talk at all.]

She's a teammate, and she already has my respect.

[ However grudging it's been, he can't deny she's been a solid Legionnaire. The heads up about Rico, while it's not being strictly heeded, was appreciated and raised her a couple of notches to fully "Beeny? She's okay." But he holds off on telling Dredd that he thinks America has lightened up since she arrived.

Instead, Robbie runs his tongue over his teeth 'thoughtfully'. ]

I don't feel any cavaties! I think I'm good. Mom was very being on oral hygiene. When you wake up in the morning at a quarter to one and you want to have a little fun, you brush your teeth ch ch ch ch, ch ch ch ch... Raffi's an ear worm for life.

If she has your respect - for what little it's worth - then you refer to her by her proper designation.

[Yeah he's being a massive suck up. So what? But when Robbie segues into song, Rico looks flatly straight into the camera. Not a single muscle twitches up or down. This is the most pointlessly inane display he's seen in a while, and that's fairly impressive considering what he's seen.]

You're a simping, slack-jawed idiot.

The thing is, Beeny and I already went a couple of rounds on this. I'm not from your world and think the laws are borked, I'm not a member of the Justice Department, she's not a judge in this universe, and I have a lot of objections to using a power title when we're supposed to be a team of equals. We've got a ceasefire going. Don't rock the boat.

[ Man, tough crowd. Not even a flicker. ]

And I'll have you know, I have a great jawline for heroing. Sure, I don't have a swell cleft in my chin like [ Gaston! ] Captain America, but it's a rock solid profile.

[ He turns his head to the side to prove this. ]

A Judge isn't something you stop being. Whether in this universe or another. Your objections are duly noted and discarded.

[With that said, Rico won't just... take him at his word, but he'll back off for now until he can confirm this with Beeny. Behave, she told him. So he'll behave. But there's something just so irking about a civ calling a Judge by their last name. How presumptuous. And they're hardly a team of equals.]

You have a weak jawline that suggests a genetic aberration and a multitude of underlying health defects.

[Don't try to have a chin-off with a Dredd. Hmph.]

[ Dredd may lose his mind if he finds their past conversations and sees that Robbie tried to call her America outloud more than once. ]

Oh, believe me, I heard that spiel already. Like, have you met that chick? She is her job.

[ A beat. Robbie holds up an index finger. ]

And a really awesome instant-meat power.

[ Obviously, he loses to Dredd as well. ]

Rude, man. My genes are great, mutants are awesome, and I don't have any "health defects."

As it should be. She shows a strong dedication to her duties. Very admirable.

[Rico is absolutely grinding out lies in between his teeth. It isn't at all how it should be. But he'll shore up their practices in public, at least. And ugh, that chick. He's just making it worse for himself.]

Well clearly there's still something wrong with you. You could always have been dropped on the head one too many times.

Very boring, you mean.

[ Robbie doesn't bother to ask if Rico saw the latest Legion Legacy - like, it's obvious what's wrong with him.

But there are jokes to be had at his own expense instead. ]

Baby Robbie - Speedbaby, if you will - would've had to get picked up to get dropped.

self injury mention

truefaceofthelaw - 2017-09-27 02:14 (UTC) - Expand

self injury mention

walkingballpit - 2017-10-13 00:13 (UTC) - Expand

You're talking about my kind of people right there.

Then you're welcome to it. Pervert.

You know, I think you're trying to insult me with that, but just an FYI: it's totally not working. And if you're not, well, thanks for noticing? I like to think of it more as appreciating people and their ass...ets, but whatever works for you, dude.

[Video]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]

Re: [private]

[private]

[private]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

self injury mention

self injury mention

no subject

no subject

no subject