[Video | Filtered to Legionnaires Only] Technically, Parody Is Fair Use

[unrecovered]

[Wash looks a bit better than he did a week ago; turns out a successful mission and a plan for the future really do help.]

We've all seen the Legionnaire Legacies, and I'm pretty sure we're all tired of them. Well, Mirage is a genius, and she had an idea: we'll make fake ones. Use our Anywhere Machine to pull real footage, create fake footage to supplement it, write our own narratives, and broadcast them. It'll discredit the press, and it might keep them off our backs, because there's no reason to broadcast someone's past if it's already been done by someone else.

So. Who's in?

Comments

[voice]

[saltsweet]

[ Oh lord, Legionnaire Legacies again? Videl can't help a tired sigh. ]

Look, I know they're a pain in the ass, but this is just ridiculous. That's going to end up being a huge waste of time that we could be using doing our jobs.

And even when you do get fake Legionnaire Legacies out there, the press is just going to keep digging around and show your real histories anyway. They're not going to stop just because you give them the "authorized full-access look at Legionnaire X." [ The finger quotes are audible. ]

[unrecovered]

[Look at how amused Wash is not. Turns out getting eaten alive by Legacies-induced paranoia for the better part of a week has completely wrecked his nerves, and he is not in the mood for this shit.]

Wow, it's almost like some of your team doesn't want their entire past broadcast to the UP at large without their consent!

Look, fake Legacies will create distrust. If there's a real one and a fake one, how does anyone know which one is the real one? How much do Legionnaire Legacies edit out? Do they change things just for the ratings? Anything that throws viewers off the scent and creates distrust for the press helps us.

So you can either volunteer your own Legacy to keep the spotlight away from the members of your team who don't want one, help us fake them, or butt out.

[saltsweet]

[ This is more or less the response she anticipated. The majority of displaced Legionnaires are exceptionally sensitive about their pasts. Maybe a more logical argument would be in order. ]

Fake Legacies will blow up on the Legion one way or another. If people treat the press in this universe anything like they do in mine, they're going to assume that the press are the champions of truth and that anything we volunteer is either falsified or, at best, partially true.

And since the press clearly has either an Anywhere Machine or something similar, once we put out our own Legacies, they'll waste no time "fact checking" us. Once they figure out that our Legacies are fabricated, they'll be completely galvanized in the public's eye and we'll be shown in an even worse light.

[unrecovered]

Not if we release them anonymously. We claim to be a rogue member of the press, or a free agent, or a dedicated fan, and say that we've managed to get the plans for our own Anywhere Machine. I trust our hackers [read: Cortana] to be able to cover our tracks.

This isn't your universe. A lot of people here are smart enough to question what they've been shown, and even more are willing to eat up anything as long as it includes more footage of the Legionnaires they love. We're going for chaos, and that's more than enough to cause it.

[It's almost like going with a logical argument will get one in kind, instead of leading straight off with criticism.]

[saltsweet]

[ Unseen, she shakes her head. ] You won't be able to keep this covered up forever. Even if none of the other Legionnaires spill this to the press---and there's a lot of distrust going around here lately---if Legion World staff get even a whiff of it, it'll be all over the infonet in no time.

This isn't your universe either. It's none of ours. Whatever chaos this causes won't last for long. Maybe it'll waylay some members of the press for a little but the really unscrupulous ones---the ones that probably have that Anywhere Machine---aren't gonna buy it and they're just gonna keep digging. Our pasts are going to be broadcast one way or another, regardless of whatever smoke and mirrors trick we try.

[unrecovered]

[And we're back to being irked.]

If you're going to be so goddamn fatalistic about it, you might as well go to the press and volunteer. It'll buy the rest of us some time.

[saltsweet]

[ Welcome back, irked. ]

Sure, why not? I've got nothing to hide. I haven't had a press conference since I was a kid, but I mean how hard can it be?

[unrecovered]

...have you watched any of the Legionnaire Legacies that have been released?

[Because she's being really flippant about the entirety of her life being an open book to an unforgiving public.]

[saltsweet]

They're pretty standard TV exposé fare. Honestly, this kind of thing happens to celebrities all the time.

[ A pause. ] You do have celebrities in your universe, right? [ Her tone of voice makes it difficult to tell if her question is sincere or sardonic. ]

[prettycoolguy]

We don't have to keep it covered forever.

All we need is for it to last long enough for us to break through the legal red tape to get the other Anywhere Machine shut down, or for a team of us to take it out ourselves.

[ And, of course, he knows which option he's betting on for speed. ]

[saltsweet]

If you already know where it is, why hasn't anyone taken it out yet?

[leverageintceo]

We don't.

[saltsweet]

That brings us right back to the top, then.

[ She heaves a sigh. ]

This is a mess.

[prettycoolguy]

Just because we don't know where it is now doesn't mean we can't find out.

Then we act.

[saltsweet]

Which is great in its own right, don't get me wrong. But I don't see fake Legacies as an important part of tracking down and decommissioning that Anywhere Machine. I get the idea of using them as a distraction, but I'm sure there's better distractions we could make that don't rely on trying to mislead the general populace of the entire universe.

[prettycoolguy]

Not the entire universe.

Just the populace that believes trashy news.

[saltsweet]

But the truth will still get out eventually. Even if we take out the other Anywhere Machine, these fake Legacies can still blow up in our face someday and damage the Legion's reputation.

[prettycoolguy]

Not critically.

[ He doesn't think it would do enough to seriously discredit the team in any arena that matters. ]

[saltsweet]

I guess that's a matter of perspective. How do you define 'critically?'

[prettycoolguy]

To the point we can't overcome.

[saltsweet]

I'm not sure you could be more vague...

[prettycoolguy]

You asked.

[ He's not bothered by her dissatisfaction with his answer, it's good enough for him. ]

[iamresponding]

That'll work...unless the press manages to successfully spin that we're the ones that are the liars. Then the Legion looks bad to the public.

They have a shot at it -- after all, we're the ones with a personal vested interest in not letting the public see the truth about our pasts. We've also had a few Legacies get aired without any statements released that says they were dishonest, which they can use to make it seem like they've been telling the truth.

[unrecovered]

So we anonymously claim to be a free agent or press rival, release them anonymously, and do the whole "goddammit not again" song and dance when they get released.