[Video | Filtered to Legionnaires Only] Technically, Parody Is Fair Use

[unrecovered]

[Wash looks a bit better than he did a week ago; turns out a successful mission and a plan for the future really do help.]

We've all seen the Legionnaire Legacies, and I'm pretty sure we're all tired of them. Well, Mirage is a genius, and she had an idea: we'll make fake ones. Use our Anywhere Machine to pull real footage, create fake footage to supplement it, write our own narratives, and broadcast them. It'll discredit the press, and it might keep them off our backs, because there's no reason to broadcast someone's past if it's already been done by someone else.

So. Who's in?

Comments

[video]

[ghost_bait]

I... I'll do it. [She looks distinctly uncomfortable with the idea that someone is going to be looking at her past anyway.]

[unrecovered]

[Distinctly uncomfortable is what comes through there, and Wash may be taking it the wrong way.]

You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm kind of first in line for volunteers anyway.

video

[ordinarily]

Uuuuuugh, where the heck is it...

[ There's a discontent groan before Danny starts lazily scrambling to grab the omnicom. Finally grabbing it, the kid buried in the blankets, pillow over his eyes, before continuing. ]

Can we do this, like... when my head isn't killing me, maybe...? I mean, I'm down, just... after the headache...

[unrecovered]

[...what.]

Are you okay? Do I need to send medical to your room?

video

[steelandtemper]

Trashy TV isn't the big issue, here. The big issue is that there's another one of those things in the wild. What happens to operational security when someone with higher aspirations than sleazy journalism gets their hands on a machine that can see through any wall, to any point in time?

[In other words, it's time for a heist.]

video

[ordinarily]

This.

[ He'll even raise his hand from beneath his blanket, to literally point up. ]

[thedreamisdead]

They are remarkably unimaginative when it comes to using those things. I can think of some better uses.

[Like keeping an eye on some of the known troublemakers.]

video

[prettycoolguy]

I'm with Cortana.

[ The Chief is delivering all the real shockers today. ]

It's a good idea, but this won't cut out the heart of the problem. We need to get that machine.

[unrecovered]

[The next thing after that question is a proposal to steal the machine, isn't it. Wash isn't going within 100 feet of the thing if he can manage it, but...]

If you want to take point, the mission's yours.

That said, it's probably a good idea to bring people who've already been hit - no reason to make it easy on them.

[voice]

[saltsweet]

[ Oh lord, Legionnaire Legacies again? Videl can't help a tired sigh. ]

Look, I know they're a pain in the ass, but this is just ridiculous. That's going to end up being a huge waste of time that we could be using doing our jobs.

And even when you do get fake Legionnaire Legacies out there, the press is just going to keep digging around and show your real histories anyway. They're not going to stop just because you give them the "authorized full-access look at Legionnaire X." [ The finger quotes are audible. ]

[unrecovered]

[Look at how amused Wash is not. Turns out getting eaten alive by Legacies-induced paranoia for the better part of a week has completely wrecked his nerves, and he is not in the mood for this shit.]

Wow, it's almost like some of your team doesn't want their entire past broadcast to the UP at large without their consent!

Look, fake Legacies will create distrust. If there's a real one and a fake one, how does anyone know which one is the real one? How much do Legionnaire Legacies edit out? Do they change things just for the ratings? Anything that throws viewers off the scent and creates distrust for the press helps us.

So you can either volunteer your own Legacy to keep the spotlight away from the members of your team who don't want one, help us fake them, or butt out.

[rokketmann]

You might want to rethink discrediting the entire press, as they and the people have generally been on the side of the Legion when we start running alternate missions.

[ Alternate missions such as stealing back stolen property. ]

But, if you want to run a Legion-approved vid in the same time slot, improve it with some interviews of other Legionnaires, donate the proceeds to a few different charities, I'm sure you'll find us willing to help. There's nothing wrong with healthy competition.

[ Almost as an afterthought, he turns the musing advice into a more direct hint. ]

There's a good charity that works with resettling people displaced from their homeworlds, like Xanthu. It's called Panspermia.

[unrecovered]

[There's a moment of Guilt, because there's a little part of Wash that will always quail in the face of disapproval from higher-ups he actually respects-]

[But it's just a moment, and it passes. He's not in the wrong here.]

Not the entire press - just the assholes who think our pasts are their property.

We can do charity work too - I mean, we just did the calendar - but that's not going to solve the problem of discrediting the Legionnaire Legacies. Making our own and releasing them anonymously should take care of that.

[Both. Both is good.]

[saltsweet]

This is the kind of thing we should've been doing from the beginning. Running our own pro-Legion media to show the public how we want them to perceive us, rather than just letting any paparazzi paint us with whatever brush they want.

I mean, we're the Legion for crying out loud. Don't we have a PR department?

voice

[whyarewehere]

Can I be President of Earth?

voice

[agnominal]

No.

text

[turntex]

yes

[unrecovered]

No, for three reasons. One, there's no such thing. Two, it has to be believable. Three, whatever we do needs to match existing Legacies, and you've already been spotted in Locus' as a soldier.

voice

[walkingballpit]

[ In a vaguely old-timey newsreel voice. ]

"Does Legionnaire and Displaced Earth President Grif intend on taking over the United Planets, using the next Earthgov election as a stepping stone to political intergalactic conquest?"

No, dude.

Re: voice

[rushing_by]

Grif, you put so much effort into being lazy, I don't think anyone'll buy that.

[deafleppard]

What are you going to be campaigning on?

[Video]

[isthisapidge]

This sounds like a lot of trouble. I'm in.

But how do we plan to fake the footage? I'd rather not see the props and sets some of the here people come up with...

[unrecovered]

I don't know yet. CGI or holograms, probably.

[thedreamisdead]

All discussion as to methods aside, I don't have a problem with this. As long as your use of the Anywhere Machine doesn't interfere with my investigations.

[video]

[marryonette]

Are they really that bad? All that I've seen so far is people dressing as me.

And... I guess I didn't really want people to see me as I was on that mission to rescue the hostages, but I can't deny that it happened, regardless of other people witnessing it...

[prettycoolguy]

Neutrino News has shown no hesitation to reveal highly classified information from Legionnaire homeworlds in their Legacies. It's a security risk.

voice;

[vata]

I'm in.

The public loves anything as long as it's entertaining.

[unrecovered]

So let's entertain them.

Good to have you on board.