thelegion | [Video, post-plots]

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[Video, post-plots]

Morning, culture lovers.

[Someone's in a chipper mood. Might have something to do with the fact that she's in the sim room, sitting alongside an oversized motorcycle that is in no way compensating for anything.]

So, I've been talking things over with the techs and Brainiac 5, and I've decided to simply open up Anywhere Machine access to my timeline for all Legion members. I just ask that you keep it to training purposes. If you try to nose into my private life, well. I don't really have one. You'll get bored. Sorry.

[She makes an adjustment and holo displays pop up around her. Dates, times, locations, what looks like an options list. Sharp-eyed viewers will see that the dates seem to be color coded.]

Using some algorithms that Brainiac 5 set up for me to account for Legion training standards, along with my own estimations, I've sectioned off portions of my life that I feel would be... instructive. Either to hone investigative skills, practice medicine, brush up on your rescue skills, enhance your understanding of stealth, or simply enhance your understanding of conflict. I've also encoded a number of these events with content warnings. I've handled nearly every form of crime you care to mention and consoled a number of victims. Some of you just aren't prepared for that, so please keep in mind your own limitations and read through the warnings before you engage.

[More adjustments are made. Holograms of her, her pistol, and the motorcycle pop up.]

If you should attempt a sim scenario, you'll get three options. One is to simply follow in my steps and see how things were handled. You'll have the option to pause and get context for anything you have questions for, rewind, or use any filters you'd like. Another is to go through it as a Judge, temporarily refusing to acknowledge your powers in favor of the full experience. [For some people, to put their money where their mouths are and show her a better way to handle things with her limitations.] If you decide to go this route, I would strongly suggest reading Dredd's Comportment first. The things you learn there might make things much easier for you. You'll be given the tools of a Judge, such as the lie detector, the Lawmaster motorcycle, the Lawgiver Mk II, and the helmet, especially valuable for its vision modes. When you arrest someone, you will be expected to sentence them on the spot, so I've compiled a common list of offenses and their usual sentences. At your discretion, of course, but if you're going that far you might as well get into the spirit of the thing.

[She filters through a few, laying them over the camera to display herself in each mode. Ultrasound. Infrared. Night vision. Killshot percentages. Disabling shot suggestions.]

Finally, you get the option to simply go in as yourself. Since you're still taking 'my' place, you won't be immediately targeted for illegal vigilante activities, and your powers will be treated as something usual. Brainiac 5 wished me to stress that he created the sim rooms and they're able to function with almost any powerset, including the psychic ones.

We talked about incentives and came to an agreement that passing out stickers for participation would likely be the most acceptable way to go about things.

[She grins again and holds up a roll of stickers covered in gold stars.]

Never say I don't keep you in mind.

In closing, I'll be happy to discuss any questions or concerns you might have about this. I haven't made the decision lightly, but I do believe that it could offer some... 'real world' incentives that other scenarios might not. Everything you will see is as raw and true as it can be, and everyone you will see was, or is, a real person, so keep those things in mind. This isn't one of the programmed sims where we rescue crash test dummies.

[She cuts out, but the links to The Comportment of a Judge, by J. Dredd and the list of dates remain up. Skimming through them, some scenarios are only minutes long, others hours or days. There's very few 'off' times, with only about four days coming up if someone skims back five years. In the past two years, a number of 'Council Meetings' take up chunks of her days during various weeks, but every other time slice is split into investigation, travel, interrogation, combat, escort, and chase sections. Three stretches of time are unusual. One is marked 'Chaos Day and Recovery', with the lead up to it being nearly entirely 'investigation' and the days surrounding it marked entirely as 'combat' or 'rescue'. Another is marked 'Block Judge Duty' and seems to be split into investigation, combat, and 'court duties'. The final one is marked 'Tour of Duty' and lasts for months on end, with 'training' making up the vast majority of her time.

Only fifteen minutes is relegated for sleep every day. An hour or two for meals. That remains standard over the past eight or nine years, at which point it suddenly switches to a more structured thing. Life at the Academy of Law. Much of the time is listed as 'training' for various things, except full nights of sleep, and it reaches back eleven years until she's five years old. She's stopped accounting for her time at that point.]

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Oh, this is all optional. But you only get the stickers if you participate.

[She holds up the roll. It's designed with Mega-City One aesthetics in mind, to trigger the "I want it" mentality. Shiny gold stars, speckled in glitter, with a holofoil "YOU'RE #1!" stamped in the middle of each. There's a few other rolls with different shapes and phrases, but they're all pretty similar.

Then there's the "you tried" stickers. She thinks she'll need a lot of those.]

This should be seen as supplementary to your normal Legion training, not a replacement.

[If you're not attending those classes, you might have some trouble.]

[Please, the extra incentive really isn't needed. They don't really need to be shiny and gold - though it's an added bonus - but he'd be just as keen on them if they were cute things like cartoon animals, rainbows, and generally positive shlock.

It's the little things.]

Uh. Normal...Legion training. Roight.

[Spoken with hesitation as if he had no idea that was a thing that existed, because as far as his memory is concerned, they don't. He found out they existed, looked into them, decided they weren't needed, and promptly forgot about them.]

Reckon they're some kinda prerequisite then, yeah?

[Don't break his heart. Don't make him go to formal classes.]

[The corner of her mouth quirks. Seems like cits were cits, no matter where they came from. Even if he did look like some kind of Cursed Earth raider.]

I wouldn't go so far as to say they're prerequisites, but those are rather necessary for the Legion membership itself. I wouldn't want to be the one who skipped the day they covered how handle Tyrrazian Star Dragons.

[Well. By blowing them up, of course. The trick is in learning how to get close enough and avoid their electro-vision.]

The training's not that bad. Less classwork, more hands-on and fieldwork.

[That's not that far from reality, honestly.]

Wait.

[Give him a minute...]

They're...mandatory for this whole shtick?

[Guess who's been playing hooky without realizing it? This guy.]

Y...es?

[He can't be serious.

Oh Grud, he's serious.]

You. You have to train if you want to learn to control your powers. And not get wrecked by someone else on accident.

[How do you functi-no, he's like a citizen. Oh Grud, she's on a team with someone as smart as a citizen of Mega-City One. She's doomed.]

[Ooooooh. He knows that tone.

She thinks he's an idiot.

The temptation is too strong to just run with it. He bursts out in rib-cracking laughter.]

Ahahahahaa!! Control it? What makes ya think they gave me anything that can be controlled?!

[The laughter continues for at least a solid few seconds; he's making sure to drive home the point that he's totally lost it, not for once considering that he might be shooting himself in the foot if this extracurricular simulation training is something he actually wants to get in on.]

[Like a speeding car crashing into a brick wall, the laughter comes to a violently interrupted stop. Junkrat's humor dies, and his voice turns low.]

No, seriously.

You tell me what there is ta learn about controllin' the ability ta turn any bag into a bottomless pit.

[She watches, bemused, at the mad laughter. Like she's seen the exact same display a thousand times before. She's done her time in the Cursed Earth. She's seen the people who've snapped under future shock. Junkrat just... Reminds her far too much of home.]

Without knowing specifics, there's only so much I can suggest. If that's all you've got, it might be less 'control' and more 'figuring out boundaries and trying to expand your horizons'. If we both understand that I'm just drawing things off the top of my head here...

[She starts ticking them off on her fingers.]

Can you connect the bags so that you pull everything from the same dimension? Or, if you already do that, can you separate them in case something's dangerous? Could you if you tried? Can you keep people in there? Can you capture things like fresh air and water in there? What about living things? What constitutes a 'bag'? If I set a pile of stuff onto a blanket, then folded that up and tied the top off with a rope, would that be enough for you to do things with? Could you travel through your bagspace and end up at an open bag you've set up at a different location? Can something escape from inside your bags and tear open the entrance?

[She pauses, tapping her index finger against her palm for a moment before shaking her head. That's all she's got.]

I don't know if you've answered any of those. Sorry, I don't even know how your powers work. I'm behind on reading the crew files.

[Huh. That's a...milder reaction than he was expecting. He doesn't dwell on it though, paying keen attention to her questions.]

No, that's what I've always done, no, in theory, yes, I haven't had a volunteer yet, anything that can hold things, yes but it'd stop being a bag once ya undid the ropes and the stuff would be inaccessible until ya put it back together, no because it only lets me put about half of meself in it before I hit some kinda wall, and like I said I haven't had a volunteer.

[He shrugs.]

I don't need classes fer things I can figure out in me own time.

[Once he figured out what he could do he spent the next 72 sleepless hours doing all sorts of weird stuff with it, and at this point the rate of experimentation has slowed down to a rolling boil of "let's test whatever question pops up when it does."]

Unless that's what I gotta do ta get aforementioned volunteers.

How about scooping up a fire? Can you hold the items in the disassembled bag space and pull it out of a different bag later?

[Yep, she's still going.]

How does it interact with weapons and other people's powers? If I were to fire bullets, or someone else fire energy blasts or flames, into your bags, could you catch them, then hold them for use at a different target?

[At this point, it's less about making a point. He's already proven he's worked that through. These are more out of curiosity.]

[Is this Twenty Questions? He's lost track.]

Fire only needs fuel and oxygen, so if I had those then yes. No, it needs to be the same bag. I haven't tried it with ammunition but from what I can tell, momentum dies as soon as it goes in there, so it depends on the properties of those things.

[Getting to his own point:]

Are these questions getting me any closer to simulation practicals are are ya just wastin' my time, mate?

No, at this point I'm just trying to figure out what your powers can do. You know. The kind of things we'd be able to learn together if you showed up for training.

It's not just about powers, either. First aid, stealth, hand to hand, search and rescue... There are a lot of different subjects you're missing out on, here.

I won't stop you from going into my sims, but the Legion's training courses are mandatory for members.

[He knows she's not in the one in charge, or so much so that she's the one responsible for the decisions, but still--]

There's no point! I already know whatever they could possibly think I need ta know. I didn't survive livin' in the GAFA on dumb luck alone, and I certainly didn't survive the mercs and bounty hunters 'cause they were inept!

[Which, yes, he ended up hiring someone to take care of that for him, but it only came up after the necessity made itself painfully obvious.]

I know there's a bunch'a people that've only known a comfy life that need that knowledge but I sure as hell ain't one of 'em.

[He doesn't need classes on acting, either, because apparently he's got his "petulant child" act down in spades. He lets out a frustrated bark and sinks his head down, running his fingers through flame-licked hair to clutch at his head and giving himself a second to think about it. Does he really want this role bad enough that he's willing to argue about the bureaucracy of it all? He could strike it out on his own if he wanted to be a hero that badly, or go back to his roots.

But he wants so badly to be part of something...

He drops his hands and picks his head back up with a sigh.]

S'pose I could brush up on me close-quarters.

[As if he has the freedom to cherry-pick.]

[She holds her hands up as if to say 'not my thing'.]

I spent twelve years learning the same kind of things they're teaching and I've still got to brush up, according to them. Some of these things are new, in their defense.

[So he's either an idiot, a lucky idiot, or someone who's good at playing the idiot. Or all three at once. Either way, it's been an enlightening conversation so far. She's leaning towards the latter, though.]

That said, you can test out of some things. Or earn brownie points by teaching your own class. Or just stick with the courses so you know who on the team needs an eye kept on them.

[Once he starts going, it's not her problem. She'll file a report saying that he isn't attending. Just her duty as a teammate, after all. But it's not like she's going to force him to go to class. He's not Kubo, after all.]

Wait--really?

[This hard-ass lady that has imported her entire life as a--he hasn't really figured out exactly what it is--some kind of law enforcement for the purposes of training other Legionnaires, is being mandated into this ridiculous mandatory education too?

Well, damn. They're certainly not going to make an exception for him then.]

...Fine. I'll go.

[If only for appearance's sake. He won't be happy about it though!!]

Let's talk about this sim thing instead. How'm I gonna get in on this?

Really.

[Granted, she tested out of some of the plainer scholastic stuff, but learning team tactics was important. As well as 'modern' survival and medical techniques.]

It's not the end of the world.

[She's seen that. This is just... inconvenient.]

Just go to the sim room and ask for the America Beeny files. Narrow it down through whatever you're looking to train in, make sure the difficulty and warnings aren't too much for you, or select a scenario at random, and you can begin right then and there. There will be a short bit of audio or text to give context if you need it, but most of them are self-explanatory.

Got it!

[Maybe.

Wait.

Hold the phone.]

...America?

Like as in the country??

[Sigh. Should've stuck with "Judge Beeny" for the files.]

Like as in the country, yes. Is that an issue?

[She wasn't aware of Oz having any real problems with the American Mega-Cities, but who knows what goes on in those alternate timelines?]

...No?

I mean, is that somethin' that people do where ya come from? Name their kids after countries?

'Cause I can get behind that.

Ah. Sorry.

My father named me after my mother. Her parents were immigrants, from Puerto Rico. They believed in the American Dream.

[Fat lot of good it did them. She can't quite keep the bitterness out of her tone there.]

Aww! [Her bitter tone doesn't seem to stop him from gushing over it.] That's cute!

[And now because he feels compelled to talk about the founding inspirations for countries:]

Australia was established as a colony fer prisoners!

[Yes, thank you Junkrat, for that tidbit of trivia that almost everyone already knows.]

Edited 2017-04-21 01:27 (UTC)

[Good thing she's wearing that visor. Keeps anyone from noticing how fast she's blinking.

'Cute' isn't a word often directed towards her.]

Uh. Thank you for the information?

[Every time she relearns that fact, she thinks of Oz and how much sense it makes that they're all descended from deranged criminals down there.]

The whole 'penal colony' thing didn't quite take, it seems.

[Wow, that's a bit much. Not all of them are, Beens.]

Who said it didn't? It was the hardest place I've ever busted out of, and I've been in maximum security prison before! HAHAHAHA!

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