[video]

[marryonette]

-A new face has appeared! At least new to almost everyone of the Legionnaires save for one. And boy does she have a ten mile wide smile. She's practically bounding in her seat as she starts to record the video. Fortunately for her, these devices aren't impenetrably high tech. Hell, compared to spellphones, they're downright antiquated by being an actual physical object. Still, those blue eyes of her (what was with the odd rings in her irises?) were shining with what could only be described as wonder.-

"To the Legion of Superheroes I make this solemn pledge: To use my powers for good. To fight for justice and protect the innocent. To aid my fellow Legionnaires in times of peril and to keep their secrets safe.

I choose a new name to honor the heroes of the past. I am Miss Guns-n-Roses!"

It all sounds so romantic! The life of a super hero! I can hardly believe it! If there are three jobs every girl wants in life, they are being a queen, being a rock star, and being a super hero, and while I've come really close to two of those, this third one is right at my doorstep! I'm already here, even!

Who knows, in between rescuing cute alien animals and saving innocent people from danger and evil, I might even finally find MR. Guns-n-roses! -She's starting to talk faster, like really fast...- Can you imagine? If I were the wife of a super hero, with both of us being super heroes, we'd become the ultimate power couple! The literal ultimate power couple! Our honeymoon would be on a distant planet with the most gorgeous of sunsets over a glowing ocean, but be interrupted by a sudden attack from a dastardly, scheming villain! He'd cackle, -She deepens her voice throwing her head back and turning her hands upwards with fingers hooked- "MWA HA HA HA! I FINALLY HAVE YOU, MR AND MRS GUNS-N-ROSES! PREPARE TO SUFFER!"

But our love is too strong for them! In a long, blistering battle, we destroy the evil with the marvelous full strength of love between husband and wife! A bond unbreakable by the most terrorizing villains of the galaxy! We'll stand as a testament to love, and when the dust settles, we'll hold each other closely! Mr. Guns-n-Roses will say to me -Another deep voice, and a bad British accent, apparently?- "Darling, I don't just fight for the galaxy, I fight for you, and nothing can take you away from me~"

-... Her nose is bleeding. A lot. Oh god.- So perfect...

A-anyways, hello! -She quickly grabs a tissue to dab up that rush of blood.- I'm actually Elphelt Valentine! It's nice to meet you all, and I hope we can all work together for a better tomorrow~!

Comments

[turntex]

sure you are
none of the ladies and gents and other sentient shit can resist that strider charm
especially not the ones so romance hungry
and especially if youre into accents cause let me tell you the british can suck my texan dick

[marryonette]

I said I wasn't talking to you anymore! Please stop!

I have a lot trouble believing you have any luck with love, having such a RUDE personality!

[turntex]

im just messing with you relax
in the sense that im happily taken anyway and not actually out to seduce anyone away from their hypothetical brits
its true that no one can resist a strider but thats just a fact of life
those affected will unfortunately just have to deal with their unrequited feelings

[marryonette]

-Well, he stopped making fun of her, at least, but... seriously, this guy was still a hell of a pill. But, well... she supposed everyone had a right to love. Even rude internet trolls.-

I don't find it difficult to resist at all, but maybe that's just me.

[turntex]

[Ironically enough, a rude internet troll is exactly what he landed himself. Quite literally, even.]

you also arent being swayed by my killer looks
im considerate like that
cant be showing my face too openly without the risk of subjecting random innocents to the despair of falling for a claimed man

[marryonette]

-... Huh.-

Wait a minute... The more I look at it, I think you're rudeness may be... Insincere! -Gasp!-

Do you have trouble making friends, mister?

[turntex]

[Nailed it.]

what no
and dont call me mister thats weird
im 16

[marryonette]

Oh my gosh, you're just a kid! Ha! And here I was getting worked up! I feel so silly, now...

[turntex]

dude you look maybe 18 at the most
an abnormally well endowed 18 year old maybe but hey im assuming thats normal in whatever anime style nosebleeds land you come from

[marryonette]

You know it's pretty inappropriate for a young guy with a sweetheart to be talking about an adult woman's endowments!

[turntex]

hed understand

[marryonette]

You shouldn't just assume! Even if he's not the jealous type, that's being inconsiderate of his potential feelings! For shame!

[turntex]

wow excuse me between the two of us which one is single huh

[marryonette]

That's... okay, you've got me there, but aren't I at least a little right, too?

[turntex]

nah
trust me its cool

[Maybe actual flirting would be a problem. But bringing up such things for the purpose of trolling someone? Yeah, he's pretty sure Karkat would be down with that.]

[marryonette]

Well, I guess if you have that kind of relationship...

So, tell me about him!

[turntex]

uh

[A pause in the previously rapid-fire text responses. Goddammit. Don't fucking ask him to talk about Karkat, being sincere and talking openly about these things is his kryptonite. Dave is very happy he tends to stick to text, because his face is bright red just thinking about talking about it. Hell, it hasn't even been that long since he was forced to be okay with people knowing in the first place.]

hes an alien with grey skin and nubby little orange horns
he yells pretty much constantly
and hes obsessed with shitty romcoms

[marryonette]

Ahh! I love romcoms! They're the best! Does he have nay particular favorites? Do you ever sit down and cuddle and watch them together? So romantic~

[turntex]

i think hitch is his favorite mostly just because hes in love with will smith
but yeah ive been forced to watch 50 first dates and good luck chuck so many times i could unfortunately probably recite the scripts entirely from memory
dane cooks godawful face has been burned into my retinas
i see it when every time i close my eyes the image haunts me when i try to sleep

[marryonette]

-Well she didn't... really know any of those, but it wasn't the specific movies that mattered anyways. Her eyes sparkle as she reads, giggling and letting out a dream-filled sigh.-

It sounds really great. You must really care about him if you know all those lines, right? That's the power of love~

[turntex]

[Please hold, he's gotta go bury his face in a pillow and scream a little.]

yeah sure the power of love is whats keeping me from ripping my own eyeballs out of my skull to save myself from douchey comedian afterimages
id bleed out and drop dead and itd be considered heroic and i wouldnt get back up again
true love is the only thing preventing that tragedy

[marryonette]

The power of love is enjoying the fact your boyfriend enjoys those movies, allowing you to sit through them, despite the fact you don't really enjoy them yourself. Love is compromise, and I'm sure you guys really care a lot about each other.

[turntex]

can this conversation be done
how about you talk more about your fantasy marriage that was better

[A sentence he never thought he'd be typing at the beginning of this thread. Jesus.]

[marryonette]

-Oh teenaged boys. Too easy.-

What? You sounded so bothered by it before...

[turntex]

no it was great that was so much better
tell me all about your imaginary british hunk