thelegion | [video]

-A new face has appeared! At least new to almost everyone of the Legionnaires save for one. And boy does she have a ten mile wide smile. She's practically bounding in her seat as she starts to record the video. Fortunately for her, these devices aren't impenetrably high tech. Hell, compared to spellphones, they're downright antiquated by being an actual physical object. Still, those blue eyes of her (what was with the odd rings in her irises?) were shining with what could only be described as wonder.-

"To the Legion of Superheroes I make this solemn pledge: To use my powers for good. To fight for justice and protect the innocent. To aid my fellow Legionnaires in times of peril and to keep their secrets safe.

I choose a new name to honor the heroes of the past. I am Miss Guns-n-Roses!"

It all sounds so romantic! The life of a super hero! I can hardly believe it! If there are three jobs every girl wants in life, they are being a queen, being a rock star, and being a super hero, and while I've come really close to two of those, this third one is right at my doorstep! I'm already here, even!

Who knows, in between rescuing cute alien animals and saving innocent people from danger and evil, I might even finally find MR. Guns-n-roses! -She's starting to talk faster, like really fast...- Can you imagine? If I were the wife of a super hero, with both of us being super heroes, we'd become the ultimate power couple! The literal ultimate power couple! Our honeymoon would be on a distant planet with the most gorgeous of sunsets over a glowing ocean, but be interrupted by a sudden attack from a dastardly, scheming villain! He'd cackle, -She deepens her voice throwing her head back and turning her hands upwards with fingers hooked- "MWA HA HA HA! I FINALLY HAVE YOU, MR AND MRS GUNS-N-ROSES! PREPARE TO SUFFER!"

But our love is too strong for them! In a long, blistering battle, we destroy the evil with the marvelous full strength of love between husband and wife! A bond unbreakable by the most terrorizing villains of the galaxy! We'll stand as a testament to love, and when the dust settles, we'll hold each other closely! Mr. Guns-n-Roses will say to me -Another deep voice, and a bad British accent, apparently?- "Darling, I don't just fight for the galaxy, I fight for you, and nothing can take you away from me~"

-... Her nose is bleeding. A lot. Oh god.- So perfect...

A-anyways, hello! -She quickly grabs a tissue to dab up that rush of blood.- I'm actually Elphelt Valentine! It's nice to meet you all, and I hope we can all work together for a better tomorrow~!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, I guess if you have that kind of relationship...

So, tell me about him!

uh

[A pause in the previously rapid-fire text responses. Goddammit. Don't fucking ask him to talk about Karkat, being sincere and talking openly about these things is his kryptonite. Dave is very happy he tends to stick to text, because his face is bright red just thinking about talking about it. Hell, it hasn't even been that long since he was forced to be okay with people knowing in the first place.]

hes an alien with grey skin and nubby little orange horns
he yells pretty much constantly
and hes obsessed with shitty romcoms

Ahh! I love romcoms! They're the best! Does he have nay particular favorites? Do you ever sit down and cuddle and watch them together? So romantic~

i think hitch is his favorite mostly just because hes in love with will smith
but yeah ive been forced to watch 50 first dates and good luck chuck so many times i could unfortunately probably recite the scripts entirely from memory
dane cooks godawful face has been burned into my retinas
i see it when every time i close my eyes the image haunts me when i try to sleep

-Well she didn't... really know any of those, but it wasn't the specific movies that mattered anyways. Her eyes sparkle as she reads, giggling and letting out a dream-filled sigh.-

It sounds really great. You must really care about him if you know all those lines, right? That's the power of love~

[Please hold, he's gotta go bury his face in a pillow and scream a little.]

yeah sure the power of love is whats keeping me from ripping my own eyeballs out of my skull to save myself from douchey comedian afterimages
id bleed out and drop dead and itd be considered heroic and i wouldnt get back up again
true love is the only thing preventing that tragedy

The power of love is enjoying the fact your boyfriend enjoys those movies, allowing you to sit through them, despite the fact you don't really enjoy them yourself. Love is compromise, and I'm sure you guys really care a lot about each other.

can this conversation be done
how about you talk more about your fantasy marriage that was better

[A sentence he never thought he'd be typing at the beginning of this thread. Jesus.]

-Oh teenaged boys. Too easy.-

What? You sounded so bothered by it before...

no it was great that was so much better
tell me all about your imaginary british hunk

Actually, since you've given in...

Do you happen to know who among the Legion are single at the moment~?

you gotta be a little more specific than that
come on age range gender general personality type
likes long walks on the spacebeach etc etc
gimme something to work with here

-Oh Dave, you're operating on the faulty assumption that she has any standards...-

Well, you'd be surprised who can be compatible! I don't like to limit my field. Anyone who'd embrace my womanhood is a good start!

Edited 2017-04-08 19:54 (UTC)

itd be easier to say who *isnt* single then
not many people here are actually in relationships since tbh apparently only human disasters get dragged here
gohan and videl are married i think
and the big beetle guy is married to an absent monkey lady
uhh i think rich is dating the fish girl
and yuuri and victor are dating or married or something
thats it as far as i know
everyone else is free game but maybe leave like kubo and dipper and pidge off your list of potentials
theyre all like 14

T-trust me, only consenting adults need apply.

Even so, that's quite a field, though... I wonder if I should try speed-dating...

if you want a speed date try grif or barry
(im kidding dont actually)
(the joke is that being fast is their superpower)
(idk about barry but somehow i doubt grif would put in enough effort to be a decent date)

Fast or slow, so long as it's romantic, I'll take it! And sometimes lazy people can be surprisingly fun to date! You never know unless you try, right?

well there you go then
try hunting grif down
the key to his heart is food btw
thats how i got him to love me anyway i just sent him a shitload of pizza and now weve got a wedding set for june
im willing to share tho

I've got'em in my sights!

... Um, do you happen to have a picture of the guy?

[Helpfully, Dave digs up a link to an old video post of Grif's.]

gotcha covered
legionshottestbachelor.html
dreamy right

Oh wow! He's super cool! -El. No.-

super dreamy right
hes been fending the ladies off with a stick since day one from what ive heard
they come to salivate and claw at that dadbod dicaprio figure while he wields a bo staff to gently pry them off and maybe get a little rough if theyre not takin the hint
occasionally slipping in a puddle of drool like the loveable dork he is and all the ladies swoon even harder
got an ambulance following this dude 24/7 just to pick up all the unconscious girls who couldnt handle that killer lazy slob charm
cant have them clogging up the walkways yknow

Considering the lack of sincerity in these rants of yours before, I'm kinda getting mixed messages here.

im more serious than a category 5 hurricane
other countries be sending monetary relief and rescue workers en masse but that shits not gonna bring back the thousands of lives already lost

Oh would you stop! I'm serious, is this guy as cool as he seems or what?

(no subject)

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