THESE WORDS ARE NOT JUSTICE DEPARTMENT APPROVED

[thedreamisdead]

[Someone's been doing some reading in her off-time. After a bit of discussion with unnamed parties, a change suddenly goes into effect in the networks. Suddenly, all profanity on the networks, as well as clever attempts to dance around said profanity by spacing it out, switching to a foreign language, or using symbols, has been replaced by cutesy terms such as gently caressing, lovely, fluffy bunny, sweater sniffer, and kitten huffing. And more along those lines.

It goes through on voice and video, as well, updating the Legionnaire's words in real time. Any attempts to mouth it out or write it down has a United Planets logo stamped over the offending words, as well as a short snippet of text underneath the logo explaining that they're in violation of the Government Agency Profanity Prohibition Act of 2917. It's an archaic law, over a hundred years old, that never quite got repealed. It tried to push professionalism by banning profane and blasphemous language within official channels.

For her part, America's pleased to watch the chaos happen. She's sitting back in her room, popping salted blurple berries into her mouth, and waiting. It probably won't last long before someone resets the entire network or convinces Brainiac 5 to undo her silent partner's work, but it would be entertaining and informative to see how far her teammates take things.]

[[ For words that ARE Justice Department approved, as well as important info on this post, see the OOC community here. ]]

Comments

text

[turntex]

[Well, if no one's gonna make an actual post to discuss the matter then Dave will absolutely just address the network at large. Sorry, everyone.]

well someones either playing a prank or forcibly inflicting their personal old timey values on the rest of us
jokes on yall though
i dont need profanity to be vulgar as an eight year old trashtalking on an online shooter
enjoy the creative crassness
swallow it down like a cheap prostitute and reminisce fondly about the days when all you had to worry about was an occasional f bomb
cause guess what your bomb shelters wont save you in the face of poetic and vivid descriptions of thick dripping phalluses when not a single cuss word is used in the process
youre welcome for this hot load of imagery being delivered straight to your waiting open mouths

text

[ordinarily]

helpful

this is so helpful

[kingtyrantranger]

It's Dave. Chances are he's the reason everyone's getting censored.

Him or Timber Wolf. That guy's not happy about this for some reason.

[ordinarily]

you know what i can believe this

[turntex]

i know
youre welcome

[ordinarily]

whatever would we do without you

[turntex]

die at the hands of an evil clown probably
i have been pretty instrumental in saving everyones needy butts to be honest
okay butts really doesnt have the same effect
lemme just type that one for my own satisfaction and leave yall to deal with the censor
i helped save everyones temporally helpless BEHINDS so youre welcome for the continued existence of the universe

[ordinarily]

you know what

i cant even fault you for wanting to type it really

at this point i just wanna curse on principle

[turntex]

meh
i mean dialogue kinda lacks that special something without some well timed vulgarity but its whatever
a stunt like this is all about trying to provoke rage over the inability to say that stuff as if cursing is all we have going for us and were incapable of going without it
so getting upset over it feels dumb

[ordinarily]

im 14

i dont really care

[turntex]

whats that got to do with anything

[ordinarily]

the whole cursing thing

i dont really curse since i get in trouble if i do so i never really cared about it

i mean i wanna curse NOW but that has less to do with making a point and more to do with teen rebellion

[turntex]

well i guess thats one point in favor of terrible parenting
bro never cared what i did or said so i guess the silver lining of that cloud of neglect is that i pretty much skipped the teen rebellion bit
hard to rebel without any authority figures who actually care whether or not you turn into a decent human being to rebel against right

[ordinarily]

i feel like i should feel bad

but at the same time youre not really wrong

[bachido]

Mother cares about you, Dave.

And you're already a better than decent human being.

[this is so helpful surely]

[turntex]

too real dude
this isnt the time or place for a feelings jam
this is purely about our presumed need for profanity and the complete futility of this brainless attempt to prevent it
my dedication to this fight is a fire that burns hotter than the alternian sun and is as undying as a sorority girls thirst

[bachido]

I understood half of that.

text

[ghost_bait]

I think my translator is broken, I only understood half of that.

[turntex]

tell me
have you ever taken a sex ed class or been given the talk

[ghost_bait]

Yes, but it was... [the early 80s, so who knows how effective it was?] Essentially not something politely spoken of.

[turntex]

well people care less about that kind of thing these days
normally i wouldnt call it a polite topic regardless but hey mr censorship has ensured that it can only be polite
because of course the curse words themselves are the heart and soul of vulgarity and taking those away will make us all model citizens
so yeah politely speaking
what part of prostitutes and phalluses are you not understanding

[ghost_bait]

It was less the words themselves, but rather the way you applied them.

[turntex]

i mean i could get into the applications of these things but i promise you it would be an even less polite conversation

[ghost_bait]

Please, I am perfectly fine not knowing.

[thedreamisdead]

[Eying the conversation with Miku, she quietly sets a code to start altering any possible repeats in Dave's language. Try being poetically vulgar when you can only use each phrase once!

She could probably be doing something more important now, but poking the beehive is too entertaining.]

[deafleppard]

You know what?

I'm actually impressed.

[whyarewehere]

What the gently caress is going on? Some kind of wonderful computer stuff is happening to my posts?

[whyarewehere]

Oh my tapdancing god there it is!

What the sparkles!

[deafleppard]

[Ha.]

But tell us how you really feel.

[ordinarily]

i dont think he can find the words

[deafleppard]

I see what you did there.

Nice.

[ordinarily]

i specialize in witty banter

and puns

[deafleppard]

Finally.

Someone else who gets it.

[bachido]

I think this will just make people be more creative.

[he thinks that because he knows Dave fairly well at this point. Dave is so creative.]

[thedreamisdead]

Over-reliance on profanity reveals an uncultured mind and a lack of imagination.

[And also criminal tendencies.]

[ordinarily]

okay like i could say a lot of things about profanity but

i think dave just disproved the lack of imagination thing

[thedreamisdead]

And yet there's Grif, proving that Dave's the exception that proves the rule.

[ordinarily]

i dunno i mean

what the sparkles sounds like my new favorite catchphrase

[bachido]

I get it! You're promoting creativity.

[No she's not and Kubo knows this. HE KNOWS THIS.]

[thedreamisdead]

Oh, I don't have the coding knowledge to set something like this up.

[She does, however, know who to turn to.]

[bachido]

But I bet you know how to order people who do.

[She's law enforcement! She had authority - has authority - knows how to wield it anyway, he knows that from the questions she answered for their fans.]

My mother wouldn't like if it I tested it, so I won't. But I think other people are going to try.

[thedreamisdead]

They can feel free to. Just lets me know where to place the swear jar for maximum charity.

[bachido]

What's a swear jar?

[thedreamisdead]

If you curse, you put money into it. Money goes to charity of some kind.

[bachido]

That's a great idea!

But wouldn't that get people to curse more?

[Asks the young man who grew up thinking of someone else before himself.]

[thedreamisdead]

[How are you real, Kubo?]

It's usually seen more as a punishment. If people want to give money to charities, they don't have to wait to curse to do it.

[bachido]

[A Series of Events, both Fortunate and Unfortunate.]

I guess that's true. But I like the idea. Maybe I'll make one for my home. Then Dave will owe some charities some money.

[And he'll make fun of Dave in a way that is very brotherly. Right? That's probably what brothers do.]

[thedreamisdead]

Give him my regards when he learns about it.