thelegion | [video] Russians and Dogs In Space!

Hellooo Legion of Superheroes!

[The man on the screen is handsome and pale, with silvery hair that falls over one of his stunning blue-green eyes. He looks to be in his mid- to late-twenties, and only a pinched look around his visible eye betrays worry. His mouth is certainly smiling and relaxed, and he's speaking with a pronounced Russian accent. It looks like he's still in the Medbay, but he’s sitting on the edge of his bed there.]

I am Victor Nikiforov! Which means much less here than it does back home, so that's a new and interesting experience for me.

[There's a bark off-screen, and a dog appears at Victor's elbow, clearly sitting on the bed with him. It's fluffy and a little ridiculous looking, probably a standard poodle but without the funny haircut. Victor obligingly moves his arm and adjusts the angle of the camera so that both of them are evenly in the shot.] Makkachin and I are recently arrived, and I’m very grateful that the Legion has been keeping an eye on Phelolu, because I would have been very disappointed if we both died there of poison and cold.

I've been informed that I now have short-term precognition. Either that or people are just repeating things as a funny joke, but that seems a little far-fetched when I'm already in another universe in space! So right now, I'm working on choosing my super hero name. Please, tell me yours, and what you like to do around here in your free time!

Oh, and I was assured that Yuuri Katsuki is already here. If anyone sees him and he's not on his way, could you tell him that his coach and the dog who likes to jump on him in public are here? [Makkachin barks again, and Victor laughs, glancing away from the camera.] Yes, and Makkachin is here too!

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Sadly, I am not so lucky! But I've managed in spite of this handicap.

[Victor needs his Instagram though. How else will he share all the cute pictures he takes of Makkachin and/or himself and/or Yuuri?]

I'm used to that sort of thing, actually. My objection is more that I sleep naked regularly and sometimes snore. Putting that up for public consumption seems like it would end poorly for someone.

I -

[ That is an overshare that Robbie wasn't expecting. ]

Well, you're going up on the next fan meme. Anyway, you turn the feed on and off as you like - so no one would see anything that you hadn't posted on purpose.

There's a fan meme? I love fan memes! Is it one of the anonymous ones, or do I need to make multiple accounts?

[He scratches an ear thoughtfully.]

Oh, I guess that does make more sense.

You can go anon or stay logged in.

[ Robbie shrugs, as if he didn't get all bent out of shape during the last one. ]

Tangent time: do you ever have a bad day? Like, is there anything I can say that doesn't get you pumped up?

[Almost in answer to Robbie's second question, Victor's shoulders slump a little.] I see. Is it too much to hope that people have learned to behave better while anonymous these days?

[In actual answer to Robbie's question, Victor raises his eyebrows, cocks his head thoughtfully, and then...smiles again. He shrugs.]

Well, I am Russian.

Apparently? Although, I don't know. They were pretty nice to me, all things considered. They warned me away from the kink thread. That's probably for the best.

[ He doesn't realize that Victor took his question as a tangent off the anon meme. Robbie was actually responding to Victor's excitement about the fan meme, because Robbie's reaction to learning about it was groaning. Vic was practically giddy. Rob aspires to be more like Vic, in that regard. ]

So... how is that an answer? Is it like, "I'm Russian, I can get excited about throwing a pot of boiling water out of my apartment window and having it hit the ground as snow"? Or is it, "I'm Russian, I lock myself in my dacha for the winter with nothing but vodka and beets, of course I have bad days"?

Or is it more esoteric? "I'm Russian, my underwear has a teal and purple sequin cheetah print and my bedroom is an homage to my undying love of David Hasselhoff and Cheburashka"?

Hmm. Well, that's nice. I tend to prefer the ones that aren't anonymous, but those can be fun sometimes too.

[Victor adjusts position on the bed as Makkachin drapes himself across his lap and goes to sleep.]

None of the above! The second is close to what I meant, but winter is when competition season really gets moving so locking myself away was never an option.

Anon is optional! Nobody's going to tell you you can't meet people that aren't onboard Legion World. Heads up though: they get kind of weird about water showers, baths, eating meat, and, uh, shipping.

[ Must not dognap. Must not dognap. Maybe he can dogsit. Yeah. That wouldn't annoy Niels. ]

Competition - oh yeah. You said you were a coach. I got to say I was hoping for the third one. I get points for Cheburashka, right? Don't make me sing the song.

[Victor smiles wryly.] I've yet to encounter a single anon meme that didn't eventually get 'weird' about shipping. At least, assuming you meaning 'shipping' as in 'relationship gossip' and not the process of transporting goods and cargo. I don't think I've seen the latter, though they probably would if prompted.

But if they're badmouthing onsen, I may have to fight each and every one of them, because onsen are amazing.

[He buries his free hand in Makkachin's fur. Soooooo sooooooft.]

This is my first winter coaching, actually! I'm also a skater, but I decided to take a year off to coach Yuuri. And while I'd give you points for Cheburashka, I'd have to take them away for accusing me of wearing that atrocious underwear. You'd have to sing the song to make up the difference.

What if I did mean transporting cargo? I wonder how much the top bid would be to have your own Legionnaire for dish-washing, lemonade-making, and life-saving services. Yes, you can have Justice for all your telekinetic sandwich needs. He's had classes on aioli!

... I meant the relationship one. Vance isn't for sale.

[ Robbie looks confused at onsen. Either the telepathic earplugs or, perhaps the more likely reason, he has no idea what that is. He assumes it means bubblebath. ]

They'd fight back. They don't take things lying down.

[ He hums the first few bars of the song. ]

I'm not singing until I know what the points win me.

Who?

[Victor can't remember the name of the bronze medalist in last year's Grand Prix, and he only knows the silver medalist's name because Christophe had put effort into being unforgettable. He definitely doesn't know who's who in the Legion.]

The fans never do. But Yuuri's family's resort is amazing and I will fight for it any day of the week.

[He grins.]

I don't know, what are you aiming to win?

Oh, right. Sorry, I'm talking about Vance Astrovik. He goes by the name Justice, and he's kind of my go-to for making a joke about a hypothetical circumstance. He's a good sport about it... or he doesn't even notice.

I don't know. An attractive young royal and half a kingdom?

Oh, I see! A friend from home or a friend you met here?

[Victor looks thoughtful, tapping his fingers on his chin.]

I suppose if you want to count skating as my kingdom, I could give you Yurio? He could probably use more friendship in his life. How do you feel about aggressive teenagers who show affection with name-calling and screaming?

[In spite of how the words may sound, Victor speaks them with every sign of affection for the teenager in question.]

A friend from home. I was just really lucky that he was here. I mean - I'm lucky for my other friends too.

[ Robbie looks dubious of this offer despite the affection. ]

I don't think I need more shouting and aggression in my life. What do you have in the quiet, good sense of humor section?

That's good! Do we get brought here in groups like that usually?

[Victor raises his eyebrows and laughs.]

Everyone I know is a competitive figure skater or a competitive figure skating coach. The quiet ones are the most aggressive.

I don't know if everyone does, but you and Yuuri aren't the only people who know each other from home.

[ Robbie chuckles - good laughs are catching - and then tsks several times and shakes his head. ]

You need to branch out more. It's nice to have things in common, but variety's the spice of life. Besides, quiet and aggressive is kind of scary. Usually scary. Always scary.

That's better than the alternative, I suppose!

[Victor gives Robbie a sunny smile.]

That's part of the reason I took some time off of skating! I've met a lot of very nice people in the past few months.

[video] Russians and Dogs In Space!

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