[text]

[dungenessmaster]

SO LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT, BECAUSE AFTER AN INFODUMP LIKE THAT MY THINKPAN IS THREATENING TO SPLIT APART FROM THE SHEER FORCE OF HOW BULLSHIT THIS ALL IS.

MY FRIENDS AND I GET DRAGGED SCREAMING AND FLAILING INTO AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS-INDUCING BID TO LEAVE EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER KNOWN BEHIND IN THE HOPES OF MAKING SOMETHING BETTER, GET BLOCKED ON THAT AT EVERY TURN, DIE OR COME CLOSE TO IT A WHOLE FUCKING LOT, SPEND THREE EARTH YEARS ON THE SHITTIEST POSSIBLE ROUTE THROUGH PARADOX SPACE TO THE BIG FINAL SHOWDOWN, COME THROUGH THAT WITH OUR MORTAL HUSKS MORE OR LESS UNSCATHED, AND *NOW* YOU'RE TELLING ME I'VE BEEN SHOOSHED TO YET ANOTHER NONSENSE-INFESTED CORNER OF REALITY?

TO FIX THINGS?

IS THERE ANY END TO THIS OVERTORQUED CAROUSEL OF MADNESS, OR ARE WE ALL SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON UNTIL WE'RE FLUNG TO OUR DOOM OR COVERED IN OUR OWN VILE STOMACH CONTENTS??

((OOC: Karkat hasn't taken the oath yet. Also, anyone who doesn't want to deal with trolltext can opt out here or simply reply with voice/video. He'll match you!))

Comments

[turntex]

[CRITICAL HIT. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE.

But no seriously, Dave kinda slumps back at that, arms still loosely held around Karkat while he drops his head back against the back of the couch to stare upwards at the ceiling. It kinda feels like he just tripped facefirst into the lava of LOHAC, and he's weirdly okay with that.]

Me too. With you, I mean. Obviously.

[He kinda feels like a dick saying it, like he's taking a huge shit over his best friends and his sister. But it's kinda nice to say it too, at least knowing Karkat was the only one who would hear it. Relieving, in a way, to actually say something so inherently emotional out loud without anxiety that he'd be mocked or even just given friendly ribbing over it.]

[dungenessmaster]

Obviously.

[Nah, no jokes or teasing here. Karkat's far too sincere for Strilonde-level snark, and even if he were, he's pretty good at knowing where the line is with Dave. Romance-wise, especially where this romance was concerned, he already knew there wasn't a lot of room for trolling.

Not yet, anyway.]

So, hey, I hear everyone who says the dumb oath and joins this blazing trash fire gets an alias. What sort of horrendous bullshit did you end up with?

[See? A change of subject. Your boyfriend cares, dude.]

[turntex]

[You're the best boyfriend possible and he appreciates you more than he can communicate. He settles for a light squeeze around karkat's shoulders before sitting up a little, all too eager to latch onto that subject change. Latgely because he is very proud of his superhero name:]

Justin Time.

[A pause, in which he realizes that the joke is probably not as obvious out loud to an alien not familiar with tradition human names.]

...See, "Justin" is a common whitebread human name. It's a pun.

[dungenessmaster]

Yes, Dave, I know Justin is a name.

[Six letters, after all.]

I just didn't know it was an Earth one, too.

[And then:]

Justin fucking Time? I mean, I can assume you're not just yanking my shame globes, it's too terrible not to be true, but what the fuck, Dave.

[turntex]

[His grin is so fucking wide right now.]

Hey, it was that or Clockblock.

[A beat.]

Y'know, 'cause we cause human male junk "cocks". Did y'all have a concept of cockblocking? Was bulgeblocking a thing?

[dungenessmaster]

I think by this point, I've gleaned every possible slang word and mental image about human male genitalia there is in existence thanks to your neverending diatribes and monologues and one-sided poetry slams. You're preoccupied with the subject the way I am with romance.

[Come on Karkat all you had to do was complain about the bad pun he didn't even use.]

I don't know if we ever came up with a crude word for it the way humans evidently rushed to do, but the concept's familiar enough.

[turntex]

[Mock-gasping, Dave lightly tugs on Karkat's head to tilt it back so they can make eye contact. Well, eye-to-shades contact.]

Are you saying I'm obsessed with dicks?

[He is SHOCKED. How crude! How scandalous! How...not entirely false, to be honest.]