[text]

[dungenessmaster]

SO LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT, BECAUSE AFTER AN INFODUMP LIKE THAT MY THINKPAN IS THREATENING TO SPLIT APART FROM THE SHEER FORCE OF HOW BULLSHIT THIS ALL IS.

MY FRIENDS AND I GET DRAGGED SCREAMING AND FLAILING INTO AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS-INDUCING BID TO LEAVE EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER KNOWN BEHIND IN THE HOPES OF MAKING SOMETHING BETTER, GET BLOCKED ON THAT AT EVERY TURN, DIE OR COME CLOSE TO IT A WHOLE FUCKING LOT, SPEND THREE EARTH YEARS ON THE SHITTIEST POSSIBLE ROUTE THROUGH PARADOX SPACE TO THE BIG FINAL SHOWDOWN, COME THROUGH THAT WITH OUR MORTAL HUSKS MORE OR LESS UNSCATHED, AND *NOW* YOU'RE TELLING ME I'VE BEEN SHOOSHED TO YET ANOTHER NONSENSE-INFESTED CORNER OF REALITY?

TO FIX THINGS?

IS THERE ANY END TO THIS OVERTORQUED CAROUSEL OF MADNESS, OR ARE WE ALL SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON UNTIL WE'RE FLUNG TO OUR DOOM OR COVERED IN OUR OWN VILE STOMACH CONTENTS??

((OOC: Karkat hasn't taken the oath yet. Also, anyone who doesn't want to deal with trolltext can opt out here or simply reply with voice/video. He'll match you!))

Comments

[whyarewehere]

your what flecked what now?

i got the least fortunate thing though and that's definitely us. welcome to the team it's a great time for all concerned.

[ Because of course he's going to carry this font bullshit over here too now that he's started. ]

[dungenessmaster]

OH WOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STICK TO SMALLER WORDS HERE, WON'T I.

OKAY.

I JUST GOT HERE, AND IT MANAGED TO MAKE ME EVEN MORE PISSED OFF THAN I WAS BEFORE.

DOES THAT WORK?

[whyarewehere]

much better. also probably faster. that's a lot of letters to type.

[ This is the guy who generally can't be assed to capitalize and who's relying on autocorrect for his apostrophes, after all.]

if it makes you feel better, the space future is actually pretty cool. i mean unless you like bacon. it's kind of a tradeoff then.

[dungenessmaster]

WELL, THERE GOES ANY DOUBT IN MY MIND IF YOU'RE HUMAN OR NOT. WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR SPECIES AND ITS UNERRING PREOCCUPATION WITH WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS OINKBEAST FLESH?

WAIT.

WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE BACON THING, "DUDE"?

[Oh my god does he try.]

[whyarewehere]

dude. it's just dude. you don't have to do the "thing" it's fine.

and of course i'm human. humans are awesome and know what the right words for things are. what are you?

[dungenessmaster]

I'M A TROLL. AND I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THIS IS GONNA BE ANOTHER GLEEFUL HUMAN-CENTRIC SPREE THROUGH SPACE, BUT WHERE I COME FROM WE LIKE THE LITERAL TERMS FOR THINGS EVEN IF THEY DO SOUND KIND OF STUPID.

[whyarewehere]

isn't the first rule of trolling you never admit you're trolling?

[video]

[dungenessmaster]

[Fuck it, this guy is going to take another fifteen lines minimum to figure it out over text.

Karkat sighs and turns on the video feed.]

No, I mean, I'm literally a troll.

[whyarewehere]

oh.

sorry about your species name, buddy.

[ At least he's stopped bothering with the orange text. The comms are once again safe to gaze upon. Well, safer. Ish. Kinda.]

[dungenessmaster]

[Your text was the least terrible thing about you, in Karkat's opinion.]


I DON'T KNOW, AT LEAST IT MAKES A DUMB SORT OF SENSE.

I MEAN, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED ABOUT GOING OUT AND DOING SOME REAL HUMANNING?

[whyarewehere]

...ok you're kinda right, there.

[dungenessmaster]

DAMN RIGHT.

SO, WHAT THE HELL IS THERE TO DO AROUND HERE? BESIDES DRESS LIKE BLITHERING ASSHOLES AND TRY TO SAVE SPACE, I MEAN.