[text]

[dungenessmaster]

SO LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT, BECAUSE AFTER AN INFODUMP LIKE THAT MY THINKPAN IS THREATENING TO SPLIT APART FROM THE SHEER FORCE OF HOW BULLSHIT THIS ALL IS.

MY FRIENDS AND I GET DRAGGED SCREAMING AND FLAILING INTO AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS-INDUCING BID TO LEAVE EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER KNOWN BEHIND IN THE HOPES OF MAKING SOMETHING BETTER, GET BLOCKED ON THAT AT EVERY TURN, DIE OR COME CLOSE TO IT A WHOLE FUCKING LOT, SPEND THREE EARTH YEARS ON THE SHITTIEST POSSIBLE ROUTE THROUGH PARADOX SPACE TO THE BIG FINAL SHOWDOWN, COME THROUGH THAT WITH OUR MORTAL HUSKS MORE OR LESS UNSCATHED, AND *NOW* YOU'RE TELLING ME I'VE BEEN SHOOSHED TO YET ANOTHER NONSENSE-INFESTED CORNER OF REALITY?

TO FIX THINGS?

IS THERE ANY END TO THIS OVERTORQUED CAROUSEL OF MADNESS, OR ARE WE ALL SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON UNTIL WE'RE FLUNG TO OUR DOOM OR COVERED IN OUR OWN VILE STOMACH CONTENTS??

((OOC: Karkat hasn't taken the oath yet. Also, anyone who doesn't want to deal with trolltext can opt out here or simply reply with voice/video. He'll match you!))

Comments

Text

[isthisapidge]

Your capslock function is a friend, not your rented mule to beat whenever you need to carry a thought.
Did I miss a memo and we're all picking stupid font colors now?

[whyarewehere]

you're obviously like a week behind on hot new comm use trends, get with it pidge.

[isthisapidge]

Oh, my mistake.
I guess typing like you're trying to get banned from using a keyboard ever again is cool.

[whyarewehere]

the coolest. welcome to the bleeding edge.

[isthisapidge]

I'm honored.
BUT MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE A PAGE FROM THE MASTER HERE?
HE'S SHOWING US ALL HOW IT'S DONE.

[whyarewehere]

i don't know, i feel like the capslock is trying a little hard. i think i'm gonna stick with my slacker nocaps style, keep it authentic.

[isthisapidge]

I just let the autocorrect catch everything. But you're right, only person can try as hard as our friend here.

[kingtyrantranger]

What did we do to deserve this?

[isthisapidge]

Sorry Jason. You're just an innocent victim in a font war.

[kingtyrantranger]

Guess I should've stayed off the font lines, then.

[whyarewehere]

we had computers that let you do it, i guess. this is our punishment.

[ And here he is. Still doing it. ]

[iamresponding]

Are you sure this is a place you really want to go?

[whyarewehere]

too late i'm already here, and it's totally on fleek.

[iamresponding]

If you try to use anymore slang words that are probably hundreds of years out of date for you, I'm going start using Brinoshian slang words around you.

And their entire language is high-pitched shrieking.

[whyarewehere]

but ^rich you ^don't understand, ^this shit ^is fire.

audio

[iamresponding]

[Rich's answer is a deafening recording of the obnoxious shrieking of some weird Carggite animal he found through an internet search. It's the closet thing he could find that sounded like Brinoshian.]

[whyarewehere]

okay two things:
1. ow
2. OW

[ But good job, Rich, he stopped.]

[dungenessmaster]

MY FONTS AND WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO WITH THEM RE A CULTURALLY-SENSITIVE MATTER THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

[isthisapidge]

Except that I have to look at them every time you post.
Not that I buy that "culturally-sensitive" thing to start with.

[video]

[dungenessmaster]

[A moment later the video feed comes on, and the red-eyed alien on the other end looks about as annoyed as Pidge might have expected.

Unfortunately, he's not just loud over text. You might want to turn down the volume.]

What the hell is with everyone here and their kneejerk assumption that everyone dragged into this mess must be from around here. It's a thing where I'm from, and it's not a damn crime!

[video]

[isthisapidge]

Look...whatever your name is, it's still obnoxious to look at and hard to read. And I'm pretty darn sure you know it too. It's not a crime, but you really can't be surprised that people are making of it.

[video]

[dungenessmaster]

Karkat.

And you, whatever your name is, obviously don't know anything about trolls or how we type. So why don't you can it.

[video]

[isthisapidge]

Pidge.

Are you seriously trying to tell me that obnoxious virtual-pet-forum typing is a vital component of troll culture?

[video]

[dungenessmaster]

Yes?

Seriously, how is this a serious question I'm being asked?

[video]

[isthisapidge]

...How?

Seriously, how does a culture collectively decide to all type like jerks?