[video] RE: The Labs

[googledox]

[Here's that green guy Kid Quantum had introduced. Apparently, he has more to say himself about what he specifically has to offer them. His expression is almost long-suffering, as if he's annoyed at yet one more interruption to his work. Or maybe it's their sheer existence that bothers him -- because now he has to worry about safely getting them home.]

My name is Brainiac 5. Kid Quantum has elected to inform me that I should make it clear that you can avail yourself of certain resources on the ship.

To that end, I want to apprise you all of the fact that you are welcome in my -- [he pauses and inhales deeply through his nose, as if the next words are very hard to say] -- in the Science Labs if you're technologically inclined and would like a space to work on whatever projects you want to...fiddle around with.

Those who are not technologically-inclined should steer clear because there is very delicate and vital equipment that could potentially decohere every molecule in your bodies until you're a fine atmospheric mist.

[And on that pleasant note...]

For those of you that come from such primitive worlds that you don't know what a molecule is because no one's developed a body of knowledge on particle physics -- and for those of you that can't seem to manage the very basic motor functions of turning a vidscreen on -- I will be offering regular lessons on basic scientific principles and on pushing buttons in sequential order.

For those of you that are engineers, I will also be providing tutoring on how to engineer and manipulate technology in this era in a way that's actually effectual.

[He doesn't really seem to be trying to be offensive. There's definitely no malice in how he says these things. But offensiveness is just kind of just happening anyway.]

As the UP government is currently suffering from a surplus of incompetence at the moment, I will be the primary individual responsible for the research and development of technologies that can possibly get you home or to the dimension of your choosing. If any of you have particular expertise in the many sciences that are involved in interdimensional travel and quantum tethering, please contact me so that we can collaborate.

That is all.

[Charming, isn't he?]

Comments

[googledox]

Because of the UP barring us from taking on any new members from within the UP we now have strangers -- that would be you -- volunteering to endanger themselves when the primary focus should be returning them home.

Also, we have to take time out of our already immensely busy schedules to train you. While simultaneously preventing the total breakdown of UP society, trying to find out what happened to our friends who have been missing for a year, and trying to engineer a way to get you home.

You're yet another complication in an already complicated situation. You shouldn't be happy to see us, either.

Since seeing us means you're not home. Where you should be.

[At least his annoyance seems heavily rooted in wanting them to safely be in their home universes? Kind of?]

[whyarewehere]

You say that like I want to go home. I don't know man, aside from a terminal lack of bacon, the future is way cooler than the dirt hole I'm from.

[He shrugs, leaning back too far in the chair he's in, the picture of indolent smugness.]

I think I'm being pretty generous helping out instead of all the other things I could be doing right now. Like taking five naps.

[googledox]

If that's the case, you'll most likely be permitted to stay, if it's at all possible. Even after a solution is found to return you all home.

And yes, I'll admit the actions of you and the others in volunteering are very generous --

[There, that's almost a compliment, right?]

-- but your presence in this universe is still highly inconvenient. It's nothing you're personally culpable for, but frustrating nevertheless.

[whyarewehere]

Well jeeze, sorry I'm so inconvenient. I'll try not to get in your way, your highness.

[googledox]

[Here's an eyeroll at full power. Yes, he's taking the bait.]

I'm not saying that your inconvenient presence is a personal failing of yours. It's the fault of whatever force or entity brought you here.

[whyarewehere]

I'll try and tell that to my hurt feelings.

[Judging by his expression, he isn't hurt at all. He seems to be having fun.]

[googledox]

Are you quite finished with trying to wind me up?

[The smiling makes it clear he's not actually genuinely offended and if he's not actually offended Brainy doesn't really care about him being bothered by his bad attitude.]

[whyarewehere]

Alright, I'm done.

I'm Grif, by the way.

[googledox]

I'm aware of your name. All of us are briefed on your identities as soon as the medical staff is aware of them.

[A pause.]

Unless that was meant as a greeting, in which case, salutations.

[whyarewehere]

Well, now I introduced me, so it's official.

[googledox]

[Another eyeroll. Grif is giving him quite the eye workout.]

well. Now that all introductions have been properly made, do you have any questions or are we going to continue this exercise in inanity?