[video] RE: The Labs

[googledox]

[Here's that green guy Kid Quantum had introduced. Apparently, he has more to say himself about what he specifically has to offer them. His expression is almost long-suffering, as if he's annoyed at yet one more interruption to his work. Or maybe it's their sheer existence that bothers him -- because now he has to worry about safely getting them home.]

My name is Brainiac 5. Kid Quantum has elected to inform me that I should make it clear that you can avail yourself of certain resources on the ship.

To that end, I want to apprise you all of the fact that you are welcome in my -- [he pauses and inhales deeply through his nose, as if the next words are very hard to say] -- in the Science Labs if you're technologically inclined and would like a space to work on whatever projects you want to...fiddle around with.

Those who are not technologically-inclined should steer clear because there is very delicate and vital equipment that could potentially decohere every molecule in your bodies until you're a fine atmospheric mist.

[And on that pleasant note...]

For those of you that come from such primitive worlds that you don't know what a molecule is because no one's developed a body of knowledge on particle physics -- and for those of you that can't seem to manage the very basic motor functions of turning a vidscreen on -- I will be offering regular lessons on basic scientific principles and on pushing buttons in sequential order.

For those of you that are engineers, I will also be providing tutoring on how to engineer and manipulate technology in this era in a way that's actually effectual.

[He doesn't really seem to be trying to be offensive. There's definitely no malice in how he says these things. But offensiveness is just kind of just happening anyway.]

As the UP government is currently suffering from a surplus of incompetence at the moment, I will be the primary individual responsible for the research and development of technologies that can possibly get you home or to the dimension of your choosing. If any of you have particular expertise in the many sciences that are involved in interdimensional travel and quantum tethering, please contact me so that we can collaborate.

That is all.

[Charming, isn't he?]

Comments

[stillshinigami]

Who lives on the primitives world but the primitives?

Give people some credit, pretty sure us cave dwellers can keep up no problem. [He's all too happy to give you a hard time, Brainy.]

That was the idea. You don't seem too keen on it. [He gives a dry chuckle.]

The way you talk I guessed you'd rather lock yourself away in that lab of yours or somethin'.

[Spare him the ridiculously unattainable standards. He'll figure it out.]

Yeaah. The superhero thing just isn't me. Even if the whole 'flight ring' thing is pretty cool.

[googledox]

Just because your worlds may perhaps be comparatively primitive in their levels of technological advancement, doesn't mean you, as individuals, are primitives. Again, calling you such would be barbaric. A world, on the other hand, can't be insulted.

And I'm quite capable of handling myself outside of my lab and frequently do.

[If that sentence sounds as dry as a desert it's because Brainy probably holds the record for hours logged on missions, especially after Cosmic Boy decided that most of his time in the Second Galaxy counted. Yes, he likes labtime but he's hardly someone that locks himself away in it -- at least not anymore.]

The role of Legionnaire isn't for everyone -- and quite frankly I'm not sure some of you are adequately prepared for it. You'll find plenty of things to keep you busy as support staff alone.

[stillshinigami]

If you say so, buddy. [He just shrugs, it's no big deal and since he was only poking fun at Brainy, even less so.]

Yeah? Good to hear.

[Likewise, of all the gundam pilots he was probably the most active during most of the war right behind Wufei given the other two were indisposed for much of it.]

I'm sure I will, but that being said I'd have probably been as prepared as you can possibly be to jump into this fight of yours.

[googledox]

Perhaps. [He looks strangely thoughtful.] Just be prepared for the scope of what we do perhaps being unlike what you're used to.

[He thinks of Jan, of him reaching out and closing a microlesion in his brain he hadn't known was there, of him regrowing Garth's arm, of the Omniphagus descending hungrily on a whole galaxy. He thinks of the Sun Eater and how all the heroes of ancient Earth had been powerless in the face of it. He thinks of the Anomaly that had the power to change who he was.]

Sometimes there are issues of...scale that are somewhat beyond sentient comprehension.

[stillshinigami]

Nothin' about this place is anything like what I'm used to. Aside from being and space.

[A brief pause.]

And you know, one hell of a messed up political climate.

[He creases the side of his mouth that comment, something he really doesn't think much of, what humans or sentient life is capable of understanding. Maybe there isn't really any good way to respond to that.]

Doesn't hurt to try, right? [Eh, close enough.]

[googledox]

Like I said, just be prepared for the scope of what we do perhaps being unlike what you're used to.

We do have a psychiatrist on staff for a reason. [Yes, he's implying that some of what they contend with is enough to make people go crazy.] If at any time you need to avail yourself of the services the support staff has to offer, please do so.

[Because sometimes when you see brain explodey cosmic anomalies and your friends turn into genocidal dictators, you do need to talk to someone. Or when your own mother tries to kill you. Even he's seen Dr. Ry'kerr for more than one incident and he prides himself on keeping his mind under control.]

[stillshinigami]

Can't speak for everyone on this but I appreciate the fact that you guys are actually on top of this. For the most part.

The whole 'in the future' thing, and the 'other reality' is enough to send anyone to the shrink. [No need for that quite yet.]

So when's this class of yours starting?

[googledox]

It's the least we can do. As frustrating as I find your current predicament, it's certainly not your fault you're here.

And the classes will start in five days. At 1400 hours. You'll all be receiving timetables.

[stillshinigami]

[He gives a mirthless chuckle at the way Brainy says that. Yeah, he supposes if he were a 'brainiac' he'd be frustrated by having all these newcommers to deal with too.]

Roger.

Looking forward to meeting you in person, Brainiac.

[googledox]

Likewise.

[Whether he means it or it's just a platitude is hard to tell. In any case, he disconnects the conversation. He does have work to get back to.]