[video] RE: The Labs

[googledox]

[Here's that green guy Kid Quantum had introduced. Apparently, he has more to say himself about what he specifically has to offer them. His expression is almost long-suffering, as if he's annoyed at yet one more interruption to his work. Or maybe it's their sheer existence that bothers him -- because now he has to worry about safely getting them home.]

My name is Brainiac 5. Kid Quantum has elected to inform me that I should make it clear that you can avail yourself of certain resources on the ship.

To that end, I want to apprise you all of the fact that you are welcome in my -- [he pauses and inhales deeply through his nose, as if the next words are very hard to say] -- in the Science Labs if you're technologically inclined and would like a space to work on whatever projects you want to...fiddle around with.

Those who are not technologically-inclined should steer clear because there is very delicate and vital equipment that could potentially decohere every molecule in your bodies until you're a fine atmospheric mist.

[And on that pleasant note...]

For those of you that come from such primitive worlds that you don't know what a molecule is because no one's developed a body of knowledge on particle physics -- and for those of you that can't seem to manage the very basic motor functions of turning a vidscreen on -- I will be offering regular lessons on basic scientific principles and on pushing buttons in sequential order.

For those of you that are engineers, I will also be providing tutoring on how to engineer and manipulate technology in this era in a way that's actually effectual.

[He doesn't really seem to be trying to be offensive. There's definitely no malice in how he says these things. But offensiveness is just kind of just happening anyway.]

As the UP government is currently suffering from a surplus of incompetence at the moment, I will be the primary individual responsible for the research and development of technologies that can possibly get you home or to the dimension of your choosing. If any of you have particular expertise in the many sciences that are involved in interdimensional travel and quantum tethering, please contact me so that we can collaborate.

That is all.

[Charming, isn't he?]

Comments

[enthraller]

[Useful information, and a very interesting looking person. But of course, Saralegui chooses to comment on neither of these things.]

Your people skills could use some work.

[also what the fuck is a molecule]

i'm so sorry

[googledox]

How fortunate then that my job is being responsible for 95% of the Legion's problem-solving and technological development instead of public relations.

[While he cares deeply about the Legion and their cause, Brainiac 5 is also one of nature's assholes. He knows this. There was once a time when his social skills had significantly improved but since the rest of the Legion disappeared, he's mostly stopped trying. Now he attempts only a minimal amount of trying not to come off terribly.]

Do you have any observations of merit to offer to this discussion or was that all?

hush don't be

[enthraller]

It doesn't hurt to be well-rounded.

[Saralegui is also one of those assholes. But he took the politician's route, which means that his focus has largely gone towards not seeming like an asshole. It's a useful skill to have, he's found. Makes people more likely to help you, for instance.]

I can't say I have anything useful to contribute -- nothing you'd likely care about, at least. [A flash of a slightly self-deprecating smile -- smart people generally like it when others acknowledge their own shortcomings in those "smart people" fields.] But I am curious about the progress being made in the way of getting us home.

[googledox]

[Brainy tried that for a while, being well-rounded. He'd even managed it. Somewhat. But then they'd fought yet another enemy more vastly powerful than them, and he'd scienced up a solution yet again, only that time... well. Being well-rounded and having social skills stopped being one of his priorities and obsessing over what went wrong and how to get his friends back had become a priority instead. Now, when it comes to his social skills, he doesn't even try.]

So far I've been exploring several avenues that may allow you to go home. One that shows particular promise is adapting the threshold gates that allow us interplanetary travel to access D-space, the space between dimensions, so that portals can be created to send you home to your respective universes.

The primary hurdles to that working are obtaining the correct coordinates to your home dimensions and unbinding you from this universe, as you're all currently bound to it on a quantum level by whatever entity or force brought you here.

[enthraller]

[Saralegui's smile slips into a thoughtful and faintly frustrated frown, but he voices none of his confusion over the more technical parts of that explanation. He can acknowledge his ignorance, but it still annoys him to no end.]

So do you have an estimate of how long it might take? And what can those of us not so directly involved in your work do to speed things up?

[googledox]

As far as a time estimate goes: I cannot conjecture at this time.

[It's the phrase his teammates like hearing the least.]

As for how you can assist, first, stay out of the labs and leave myself and the other scientists and engineers to our work. Secondly, assist us either as Legionnaires or support staff in our endeavors to prevent the total collapse of galactic society so I have time to be in my lab.

The United Planets government knew they couldn't get away with disbanding the Legion but they censured us after the rest of the Legion disappeared last year, claiming that we -- that -- [This part is difficult to say] that I showed reckless negligence that resulted in the disappearance of our teammates during our last battle as a full group. Unsavory elements in the UP that disliked our habitual exposure of corruption in the UP government wanted to take advantage of how we'd been weakened and managed to halt Legion recruitment among any UP member worlds.

That's why RJ Brande asked you to join us and that's why we've allowed those of you to volunteer that are willing to, despite our reservations about all of you risking yourselves to do it when you had no choice in being here.

With our current staffing and the current conflicts plaguing the UP, without any recruitment or assistance, my friends and I will be dead within a year. Which precludes any possible assistance we can render in helping you get home.

In short, the best way to assist yourselves is in assisting us. That way we have time -- and are still alive -- to help you get home.

[enthraller]

I see.

[Yeah, he certainly doesn't look pleased by the news. Besides the fact that there's at least one country he's responsible for back home, this arrangement feels too convenient for the locals for his comfort. "Help us solve our problems so we can have time to maybe figure out how to send you home"? The Legion do sound like the good guys here, but then, anyone is the good guy in their own telling of things. And it's definitely the way he'd phrase things if he wanted to get someone to do his dirty work for him.

Yes, not everyone is him. Most people aren't, even. But it'd taken long enough for him to come around to trusting even sweet, sincere Yuuri. Complete strangers from another world are another story entirely.

His frown deepens slightly, but his face reveals no suspicion, only a careful thoughtfulness.]

You seem to have a complicated relationship with the local government.

[googledox]

There are elements among it that are trustworthy. [A pause.] As trustworthy as politicians can be.

However, we've always attempted to maintain a lack of political bias when fighting for the rights of sentients and that has meant that alongside fighting criminals and cosmic threats we've occasionally overthrown an administration of the government or exposed the more unsavory activities of certain government officials.

For instance, when President Chu, a now-former UP president, was instigating wars to cement her hold over the UP member worlds, she was quite incensed when we exposed her actions. And a few years back, when elements in the government were tormenting and experimenting on innocent sentients to produce individuals capable of powering star drives, they found our intervention very...inconvenient.

The United Planets was founded on the principles of tolerance, cooperation, and equity among all sentients, and many individuals -- including some politicians -- agree with these principles. But as it is with all governments and power structures, the self-serving do so love to use them for their own corrupt and abusive purposes.

[He pauses again.]

This isn't even the first time they've censured us. They ordered the team to disband once before and the team opted to operate in secret until we exposed the experimentation on sentients I mentioned.

[enthraller]

[An arched brow, and a wry, thin smile.]

I'm a politician.

[He lets that sit for a moment, but then shrugs, apparently not actually too offended.]

But you aren't wrong. I've seen far more people in power abuse it for their own gain than use it to do good for the people they rule over. I'm only surprised you've all gotten away with acting separate from that government for so long, if it's so corrupt.

[googledox]

[There's a long pause as Brainy tries to figure out what to say in response to Saralegui being a politician. He settles for:]

You have my condolences.

[It just seems the right thing to say.]

We have our allies among the UP. It helps when you've saved the galaxy from total destruction more than once. Even some of the more self-serving politicians find such a service valuable, since it's responsible for their continued existence.

It also certainly doesn't hurt that we're held in high regard by the general public. Taking action against us is considered highly inadvisable among political circles to those who care about their political careers. They're usually afraid they might ruffle the wrong feathers and lose votes during elections.

Our current censure is considered highly controversial and was ultimately a compromise among the politicians that want the Legion disbanded entirely and those that want it to operate according to normal parameters. It's not a decision that's popular with most UP citizens.

[enthraller]

[Unexpected as it is, that prompts a laugh and a grin from him.]

Perhaps your social skills are better than you let on.

[And he's all for the "garnering public sympathy to make direct conflict difficult for others" game. It doesn't mean he trusts this group. But at least if they are guilty of anything underhanded here, he can respect the methods.]

[googledox]

[Now someone's getting it. It's not that he's without a sense of humor, something the "condolences" crack made clear. He's also not incapable of being polite. It's just that he's very selective with the times he bothers with it. But when he tries, he can work a room of brainless politicos with the best of them, and even manage civil conversation with Colugov -- no small feat when they've formally exiled him.]

When I prioritize them. Right now, I have far more pressing issues to concern myself with.

[enthraller]

I suppose I should let you get back to them, then.

[A pleasant, understanding smile, and an airy gesture that feels almost like a dismissal.]

[googledox]

Thank you. It's most appreciated.

[His tone is almost long-suffering. Finally, someone that understands his very busy schedule.]

I'll see you in class along with all the other displacees. If you require anything else of me, I usually can be found in the Science Labs.

[With that, he takes his leave.]