This Is Not A Test [Audio; available only to people in After These Messages]

[unrecovered]

[Wash sounds oddly calm for having spent any amount of time in TV hell. He'd seen a few of his fellow Legionnaires in various shows alongside him; hopefully they've all survived up to this point. If they're all lucky, they all managed to find a way out of the studios like he did. He's worried about them, enough to reach out through the omnicomms (eerily silent with the main Legion World network still inaccessible) and check in.]

This is Agent Washington, codename Freelancer, of the Legion of Superheroes, sending a message on a secured frequency. [As secure as he can make it, at least; he'd feel a lot better with Cortana or Delta around, but right now he's just happy to be alive and have his equipment back in his hands.] If any other Legionnaires can hear this, please respond.

I've managed to get my equipment back and escape the TV studios with the help of the local resistance. They call themselves the Indies, and evidently they've been against this whole global TV thing since the beginning. They've also seen the piece of Metron's throne - evidently it's still disguised as a book page, and who uses paper anymore? The good news is, they know where it is. The bad news is, it involves going back in the studios for a retrieval mission, and I don't know about any of you, but I do not want another fifteen minutes of fame.

[He says, yelling into the void for all he knows. There has to be someone out there who can answer, right?]

I talked with the leader of the Indies, and evidently their world wasn't always like this. They made contact with something nasty years ago, and it took over the government, wrecked the planet with years of war, and pretty much drove everyone underground. It's also the thing running the whole murder television operation. It calls itself the Producer, and they think taking it out is the first step to returning their society to normal.

To be completely honest, I've had it up to here with homicidal cosmic entities, and the last thing I want to do is die in yet another dimension that isn't mine. As far as I'm concerned, getting the piece of Metron's throne and getting out of here is priority one.

But if we happen to topple a bullshit government and kill another Cthulu knockoff along the way, I wouldn't say no.

Comments

[crossfading]

Dude, no kidding! There's no way we can just leave everyone stuck like this and just go.

[ Some little ray of sunshine is a little tired from being run ragged on that dancing show, but he's ready to go, if it means toppling whoever's behind all this.

These people deserve better than living in fear, being made to perform out of of fear for their lives. This isn't entertainment. This is just...sick. ]

You know where we can find out guy with the Indies?

[unrecovered]

If our options are "going back without leading a successful revolution of the people" or "not going back at all," then yes, we can absolutely leave everyone stuck like this. The piece of the throne, and defeating Chronoblivion, are our number one priority - everything else has to wait.

[He's actually incredibly relieved to hear from his fellow Legionnaires. Let him express it by arguing with you.]

No one's saying we can't come back after we wreck Chronoblivion. In fact, it'll probably be easier then - we can get the full support of the Legion and run a real combat-oriented mission instead of trying to repurpose an espionage mission.

[crossfading]

That may be so, but we already made it through their games, didn't we? And we're here now. We've got an in, and we've got the element of surprise.

[ Gonna take more than that to dissuade him, Wash. He's faced tyrannical oppressors before. ]

If we're gonna help these people and get the piece of throne in one go? Now's the time. We've got this.

[unrecovered]

Yeah, we have an in, and the element of surprise, and maybe even intel, and no support. If we get in a battle we can't win, that's it - the Legion is down a dozen members it can't afford to lose and an item that it needs to beat Chronoblivion, and if Chronoblivion wins, it doesn't matter whether we have a successful revolution here - this dimension still gets eaten, along with the entire rest of existence.

Priorities. The mission has to come first.

[hallaifyouherd]

...what do you mean, 'who uses paper anymore'? What's wrong with books, exactly?

[ Okay, maybe not the priority right now, but after that business in the skimpy skirts and high heels and punishment in the name of celestial bodies, she's a little frazzled.

Give her a moment. ]

[unrecovered]

It was obsolete when I'm from, and it's even more so here. That's why they recognized the piece of the throne as important - it's disguised as an antique piece of paper.

...I take it you ditched the heels. [And now he's teasing. Boy it sure is nice to have survived the magical girl bullshit, huh.]

[hallaifyouherd]

If those things are what innovation the future brings, I want no part of it.

[ She'll happily go barefoot, damn it. And don't you laugh at her! Her poor squished toes... ]

I don't suppose you have any more of those extremely deadly flowers on you for the occasion?

[unrecovered]

Yeah, might as well leave them to York and North. They seem to like them. [Being in the wrong dimension will not stop the teasing.]

No, sadly, all I have are my guns. [He could probably be more deadpan if he tried...probably.]

video

[captainbuzzkill]

[Dipper's still really, really out of it. That drug stuff they made him drink made everything go really numb. It made everything seem like some kind of fever dream. He just stopped feeling things, and even now he's having trouble feeling anything except a low level hatred of the people behind all this suffering.]

[That's the drug, right? The numbness has to still be the drug. There's no way it wore off that quickly. It's not the almost dying (yet again), or the being treated like an object (yet again), or seeing other "contestants" die and not being able to do anything about it, and being totally powerless (yet again).]

[The drug is still why everything feels numb. It has to be.]

I think we all know that we're not leaving until we wreck all their stuff. [He leans forward more towards his omnicom.] All of it. All of their stuff.

[Then he sits back a little and rubs a finger at his temple. His head feels like it's going to explode.]

If we leave, we don't know if we'll ever be able to come back. The throne zapped us here, but it might never zap us back here again once it has the piece, and we don't know that Brainy will be able to find this universe again.

If we try to take the page back to Legion World first we could be leaving all these people like this. Trapped. Stuck dealing with their own Murderworld basically forever.

[It's like all the worst of Bill Cipher and Murderworld all rolled into one.]

I'm not leaving. This is... [His voice goes a little more bitter, a little more cynical.] This is televised death match number three for me, but that's exactly why I'm not leaving until we stop this.

Because for them, this is televised death match eleventy billion. And if there really is some eldritch monster behind this...

[He just repeats it.]

I'm not leaving, okay?

[unrecovered]

[Jesus Christ Dipper looks bad. He looks exhausted; he looks angry; he looks jaded; he looks...he looks like he's on the edge and leaning, like it would only take one stiff breeze to blow him completely over.]

[Dipper shouldn't be here. It's a thought that's been sitting in the back of Wash's mind, just below the surface, ever since...well, ever since he'd met Dipper, if he's going to be honest with himself. He doesn't mean this dimension - none of them should be in fucked up television hell - he means in the Legion. He means at all. Dipper's been a Legionnaire for longer than Wash, but Wash has been fighting wars for longer than Dipper has been alive. He's had time to learn to deal with trauma; Dipper hasn't. And Dipper has survived his own apocalypse, and whatever he's experienced here - Wash met him when he was broken, for God's sake - and this is Dipper's third televised death match-]

[He shouldn't be active on this mission. He should be on the sidelines, off duty, getting help, and all of those possibilities are so far beyond the realm of possible right now that it's almost stupid to think about them, but here Wash is, worrying about it anyway.]

[They have to get through this. Dipper sitting out is not an option, even if he doesn't look or sound anywhere near stable enough to participate. Wash can't worry about that now, no matter how much he wants to; he'll carry Dipper through himself if he has to and worry about the consequences later. For now, damage control.]

[Fuck this entire stupid dimension.]

Dipper, Brainy built a machine that can read dimensional frequencies. I'll be amazed if he's not able to find this one based on data recorded by our omnicomms or our flight rings or something. We're coming back, and we're taking care of the Producer, but it can't be our number one priority right now. Chronoblivion is.

There's no point sacrificing the multiverse to save a planet. If we do that, they die either way. We have to stick to the mission.

[He's being as sympathetic as he can, but it's still a hard line.]

[captainbuzzkill]

This is the same Brainy that, no matter how smart he is, can't undo what the Time Trapper did and unstick us from the Legion's dimension.

He tries as hard he is can but he's not a god and we can't keep acting like he is and always assume he can fix everything!

The throne is so complicated he doesn't even know how it works and there might not be anything he can scan to find this universe again.

And even if we do have to save the multiverse, what kind of multiverse are we saving for the people here? Do you think that'll be a nice thing for them, still existing when their only choice is to exist like this?

I'm not leaving. And if you're that sure the team will be able to get back after dropping off the page, then it won't even matter if some of the team stays behind to help since anyone that leaves can come back, join in, and pick us up and take us home with them after we fix this.

[unrecovered]

[They're looking at the same hypothetical and coming down on complete opposite sides of it. Wash fully believes Brainy can pull something out, but without evidence, there's very little chance he'll convince Dipper of the same. They might as well be arguing about politics for all the good it does either of them.]

We're saving the kind of multiverse where they'll be alive. As long as they're alive, they have a chance to turn things around - hell, they're already working on it. They have hope. There's no hope for the dead, and that's what they'll be if we don't stop Chronoblivion.

If you're so sure we're not coming back, then choosing to stay means choosing to cut yourself off from everything you've ever known - the Legion, your home, your family, all of it. It's not a decision to be made lightly, and it's not one to be made while you're angry. At least take some time to think about it.

[In the state Dipper's in, he sincerely doubts Dipper will take that time. This is a stalling tactic at best, but that's not going to stop him.]

[actionishisreward]

...I don't like it. I really don't like it.

But you're right. I mean, I watch the news. Toppling a government,that takes months, years of work. We don't have time. If we get the chance on the way out, awesome.

[unrecovered]

I don't blame you - there's nothing here to like.

I don't think it's going to be a "getting a chance on the way out" situation; more likely we'll either be able to avoid the thing entirely or have to face it to get the page back. I just don't want to rush into the second scenario if the first one is an option.

[crossfading]

It could be that taking a shot on the way out's what they need.

I've seen people like this before back home. They're scared, and they're desperate, and there's already a movement just waiting for an opportunity to break free. If we can show them that they can, that the people holding them back can be stopped if you try...maybe that's all they need. And if it isn't, at least we tried to set the example for them.

We're supposed to be heroes, right? That's what heroes do.

[captainbuzzkill]

See, you get it.

[unspeakablyevil]

[Another Cthulu knockoff here to loudly weigh in on things.]

I say we ANNIHILATE IT at the first opportunity! It must be taken down for the UNTHINKABLE INJUSTICE it has committed!!

[Specifically to Aku.]

[unrecovered]

To you, or to the planet at large?

[He's pretty certain he knows what the answer is going to be.]

[unspeakablyevil]

Both, obviously.

[Him.]

Some time later [Info Get]

[unrecovered]

[The leader of the Indies had gotten back in touch - with Wash, and as far as Wash could tell, with all of the Legionnaires stuck in this dimension. The info packet they'd provided had been more thorough than Wash had hoped: floor plans, the exact location of the piece of the throne as far as any of them knew, known levels of security and patrols, records of successful infiltrations, and even a small list of the Producer's weaknesses. The Indies had evidently been at this for quite a while, and this looks to be the fruits of their labors.]

[Wash really doesn't want to leave them with nothing. The thing is, between fighting the Producer or fighting Chronoblivion...well, priorities.]

I'm assuming everyone got the briefing packet.

There is a possibility of pulling this off without ever running into the Producer. If we go completely for a stealth mission, we might be able to get in and out without anyone noticing.

[But that's not the popular opinion, and...well, there are other options. Better to have everyone in the building and grab the reluctant stragglers if things go wrong than to have people in completely separate locations and cut off from a quick escape.]

Our other option is a two-pronged attack. We send in a small stealth team to recover the page, and everyone else goes in for a full-on attack on the Producer. We might be able to get both at once.

I'm open to suggestions.

[He's not the leader on this mission, and he knows it. Hopefully, if he acts like he is, people will follow, or at least not directly call him on it. He's had some experience in herding cats, at least.]

[hallaifyouherd]

It's not going to take all of us to recover the page. One or two people quiet and clever enough can do a better job of retrieving it. Splitting up is not a terrible idea, and those attacking the Producer could be a distraction for the team recovering the page. Presenting a strong front to focus on.

Although doing this only halfway could hurt the people of this planet once we're gone, if we can't defeat the Producer for good. And it would leave the question of what happens to them when we've gone. Something I don't think we have time to carefully arrange before we escape.

But we have to come to a consensus one way or another.

[unrecovered]

[She brings up a good point, and while it's one he hadn't really wanted to talk about, it does need to be addressed.]

If we do fight the Producer, and it starts going south, we need to cut and run. Getting the page and getting home still needs to be our first priority. A half-done battle might make things worse here, but we might not have another option - not if we're getting out of here in with the page. It's a possibility that everyone needs to make peace with before we go in.

We are not sticking around long enough to overthrow their entire government. We might not have that kind of time, and I am not willing to risk all of existence on it.

[headinjuries]

A couple of people who are good at stealth are gonna have way better chances if they're not being dragged down by those of us who, uh, aren't.

Distraction duty is kinda my thing.

[bringinghopewithme]

[The new information hasn't changed Bunny's personal plan of action. If anything it's just given him more of a reason to follow through.]

If you do decide to take off with the thronepiece before the Producer's taken out, do me a solid and send reinforcements once you have them. I'm not leaving.

Private

[unrecovered]

Not you too.

[It's somewhere between exasperation and exhaustion. Wash had been hoping that Dipper was the only one who'd be making small-picture emotionally-laden decisions today, but nope.]