[video] The Reject Pile [closed to those that have signed up for this part of plot]

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cw: for child death/harm

[When Invisible Kid shows up on screen there's something wrong. He's got a grin so big it looks like it could split his face, and there's something wrong with his eyes. They're glowing with a yellow glow and he has strange, oblong, almost cat-like pupils.]

[When he speaks, there's something wrong with his voice, too. It doesn't sound like Lyle, the cadence and tone are off. If anything, it somehow sounds the same as the villain who'd bragged about wearing a meatsuit that'd tried to blow everyone up during the fight with the Legion of Supervillains.]

Well well well, you Legionnaires sure seem to be rallying in the face of disaster. Guess I'll have to ruin it for you! Lucky for me the Brainiacs finally decided to make a mess of things! I've been looking over Brainiac 8's shoulder for a while now, waiting for her to do part of my work for me.

It wasn't easy being patient. After that big metal idiot prevented me from blowing you all up during the fight with the Legion of Supervillains, I've been dying for a chance to kill you all again!

[The grin somehow widens, even though it shouldn't be possible.]

You're probably wondering who I am. The accursed, fetid, incomprehensible monster from outside of time and space that's forced me to work for him as his Herald calls me The Devil, but his obsession with archetypes and the Tarot is stupid anyway.

The name's Bill Cipher.

A few of you have probably heard of me because of Pine Tree. He even wrote everything about me in this little book of his, figuring you might need it to fight me!

[He holds up a red notebook filled with notes and pictures of aliens and creatures.]

But don't expect him to help you. [The book starts to burn in his hand. Then he picks up...a utility belt.]

To make sure he wouldn't interfere, I put a power inhibitor on him, took all his gear, and shoved him out an airlock!

[To prove he's not lying, he tosses the utility belt away and picks up...a very familiar hat, placing it on his -- on Lyle's -- head.]

Don't worry about how hard it'll be to find his asphyxiated, lifeless body in the unforgiving void, though -- you're all going to join him soon! This invisible moron has access to Brainiac 5's rejected experiment vault. It's filled to the brim with unholy horrors and failed experiments capable of bending space and time itself.

Two years ago, I used this meatsuit to sabotage Brainiac's device, but Norg here fixed it in time to send the Legionnaires to a pocket dimension instead of vaporizing them -- but not this time. Thanks to Brainiac 5, this time I'll turn you Legionnaires inside out, strip away the information that makes you exist as matter, and pluck out your hydrogen molecules. That's if the Unmolded Ones don't erase you out of existence first!

[With that, he laughs, and behind him, a vault door opens, releasing...things. Terrible things. Machines that hover and emit shrieking sounds that cause the metal around them to oxidize. Floating vortexes that invert the structure of anything they touch. Rotating devices, meant to repair structures with a special adhesive, that spread their spider web like material over anything they perceive as broken, to fix it -- that unfortunately think organic life is so broken that it needs to be knitted together with other organic material.]

[This is all the stuff that was so dangerous Brainy didn't even try to keep making it work. It's the stuff that made him go "Oh, sprock!" and hit a panic button of some kind. Since not all of them could be safely deconstructed easily -- or needed some time for their dimensional half-life to pass before they faced decohesion -- the vault is where they're consigned until they can safely be taken apart or fade away on their own.]

[The rejected machines, anomalies, and ideological biohazards -- pour out around Bill and he fades away from view, using Lyle's invisibility. Even though he fades, a laugh remains.]

AHAHAHAHAHA!

[ooc: This is locked to anyone that signed up for "The Reject Pile." (You can jump in right after you sign up, as long as sign ups are still open.) Other characters can be handwaved as off on missions.]

Comments

[bringinghopewithme]

Oi, Seppo. Y'ready to throw down against someone whose best sense ain't sight?

[For being as nerfed as he is, he manages to make a post while running flat out without sounding out of breath still.]

I'm comin' for ya. You're not ready.

[legionnpcs]

[Ferro shouts to Karate Kid, who is vaguely visible off screen. Val's also human, and therefore has a few of the same cultural touchstones, despite being from the 31st century when Ferro was originally from the 21st century.]

...Val, the Easter Bunny's a badass!

[Ferro doesn't curse often but there is no other word for this.]

[unrecovered]

Unless you can literally beat the demon out of him, temper it. We need Lyle intact.

[thedreamisdead]

They have good doctors.

[unrecovered]

Our medtech is down and we literally don't have the time for him to heal or for us to argue about it. Temper it.

[thedreamisdead]

They can fix a broken back within a few days. Taking out a knee or just stunning him to keep him from going around really isn't going to make a difference in the long run.

[unrecovered]

We don't have a long run! We don't even have a few days! We need a cure for the fucking zombie apocalypse, Lyle is our best bet with Brainy out of commission, and if we break him we - and the the entire goddamn universe - are fucked! Get your priorities in order!

[thedreamisdead]

I understand you're stressed because you're not used to these situations. I am. So if you want to throw a tantrum and go the opposite way because you disagree with my politics, that's on you. But if you want to listen to someone who's lived through things just like this, then shut the drokk up and listen to me.

We don't know if the Stantz's miracle slime will do a damn thing. If it does, that's fine. If it doesn't, then we need to break Norg. Then we'll dope him with enough painkillers to take the worst of the pain off, and set him to work.

[agnominal]

That was uncalled for.

[thedreamisdead]

And?

If he can't handle someone who's lived this exact situation telling him how things can be handled, then he doesn't need to be on this mission.

[agnominal]

And if you cannot accept someone disagreeing with you with a modicum of dignity, and focus on a joint solution with the support of the entire team, we will lose the objective. This...display only weakens us.

I expected better of you, of all people.

[thedreamisdead]

Disagreeing with me is one thing. Talking down to me like he's in a position of authority, is another. Especially when all I'm doing is saying that we have another option beyond 'sliming' Norg and hoping for the best.

I can work with someone I disagree with. You, of all people, know that. I cannot work with people who don't respect me and refuse to acknowledge my qualifications and previous experiences.

[agnominal]

Do not ask more of your team than you are willing to give yourself.

[gonebyebye]

You're assuming that causing Lyle physical pain would encourage Cipher to vacate his body. He's not a corporeal being, he won't respond to sensory input the same way we would. From what we do know about him, I'd actually find it more likely he find the idea hilarious.

[thedreamisdead]

Doctor, if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask.

[unrecovered]

[Funny, that's how Wash feels about her.]

How about we listen to the guy who takes care of the supernatural for a living, huh? We'll come to you if we ever need a lesson in overblown brutality.

[thedreamisdead]

I've dealt with the supernatural. If you bothered to look at any of the training scenarios I put down rather than condescend to me about how 'useful' it'd be, you'd see that I've handled demonic possessions, psychic attacks, and ghost invasions before.

Possession cases like this, like the Dark Judges, are required reading in the Academy of Law. I've worked with Psi-Division multiple times. I know what I'm talking about.

[gonebyebye]

Good for you. No, I'm serious, you have a lot of experience, and I'm not going to insult that. But I've walked through and escaped Hell. I've faced off against ancient Sumerian gods, had two of them duke it out for possession of my body while they were in it, and come out with my sanity intact. The Ghostbusters have to deal with everything you have, constantly, with only 12 people trained to deal with those situations, four of which are usually halfway across the country. You're trained to handle the supernatural. but I spend every day living, breathing, and studying it.

[thedreamisdead]

I've heard you talk about it. I tried to talk supernatural control methodology with you, but you decided to bite my head off about Santa Claus of all things.

In any case, since now is apparently a good time to talk about these things, this isn't a unique situation. Mega-City One has faced multiple threats like these. If you kept the Coluans organic, turned them into people with an aggressive hate plague, and turned Bill into a quartet of genocidal beings from another dimension, you'd have the Day of Chaos. If it was normal zombies and the same quartet, we'd have the Necropolis incident, which was admittedly before my time. And if you removed the quartet and replaced them with an evil wizard, then you'd have the Judgement Day scenario.

This is an exact situation my city's dealt with before. Two within my lifetime. Once only four years ago.

So when all I'm offering is another solution, let's keep that experience in mind.

[unrecovered]

Your alternate solution hinges on breaking the guy we need to solve the rest of the problem. It might work on Bill, but we'll be more likely to lose to the Brainiacs, because it's not just a zombie plague, it's also two superintelligent beings running the show! We need all the help we can get, and we won't have it if we break Lyle at the get-go!

[thedreamisdead]

I'm suggesting we either stun him or remove his mobility via broken legs or shattered pelvis. Apply local anesthesia or give him non-euphoric analgesics as needed. He feels no pain, he maintains his mental facilities, and we use a staffer and a wheelchair to move him around.

Do you have another backup plan?

[relativityspeaking]

For once, just for once, it'd be nice if everyone learned how to offer tactical advisement without screaming each other down.

In every moment we waste, thousands are getting infected, and some of are teammates are coming closer to death.

If Dipper had an extra transuit and is alive, we have no idea where he is, and limited sensor array capabilities. The faster we can get Lyle free, the faster we can see if Bill allowed him to be conscious for it, so that we can narrow down our search area by knowing what airlock he was launched from.

So Wash, can it. Lyle's a big boy. He was doing espionage work back at an age where most of the team was in primary school only worrying about homework. He knows the risks of what we do and would understand if we have to cause his body at least some harm.

America, I know you mean to suggest physical incapacitation as a backup measure, but in the future, if you have a violent suggestion maybe try not to open with.

You seem to have trouble sometimes with making a last resort we need to consider sound like it's meant to be a first one.

[It's not that it's a bad suggestion as a backup to Ray's equipment but she sure made it sound like it was meant to be the first volley.]

We're going to try using Ray's less violent methods of exorcism first, but if there is no other way, we may have to try to incapacitate Lyle to force Bill out.

[gonebyebye]

If you offer a solution you need to be prepared for other people, some of which have at least as much experience as you in dealing with these sorts of problems, point out the flaws in that solution.

According to the footage from Dipper's Legionnaire Legacies, which is probably our best insight into Cipher's personality and motivations, he actively went out of his way to injure Dipper while in control of his body. He even threw Dipper's body down a flight of stairs. Simply put, Cipher's not going to care if you hurt Lyle. He might even enjoy it.

[thedreamisdead]

He caused minor injuries at best. Bruises, cuts. No broken bones. Nothing that would his ability to move around beyond some limping.

He won't care about the overall condition of the body, but he will care about his ability to move around freely without getting captured by us. Otherwise he'd put on a show of causing real injuries.

[gonebyebye]

Whoever tries to fight him with the intention of getting close enough to break his limbs would be putting themselves at risk of being possessed mid-fight.

Look, you have a point, but in this case, violence should be the last resort, considering it would only hurt the person we're trying to help. The slime isn't my only way of driving out a possession, it's just the easiest. There's a simple, quick modification to the arm-mounted packs I could make that would make it fire a low-powered pulse of protonic energy that could also force him out. I'd at least like to try those methods before we resort to blunt-force trauma.