thelegion | voice | you still hate time travel

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voice | you still hate time travel

Okay, so.

Am I going crazy, or do I see more kids than usual?

Like, okay, I know I don't pay a lot of attention, and I usually just stay in the Nasty Burger and all. But I know the Legion makes a big deal about having to be fourteen to be an adult or something, so uh.

Anyone wanna help me out here? Or should I just default to blaming time travel?

Because I'm perfectly fine with just blaming time travel.

[ A pause. ]

... Actually, you know what? I'm just gonna blame time travel.

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Wait. Where did you find burgers.

[This is a teenage boy who has been running - occasionally literally - almost since he woke up. He would do terrible things for an actual burger right now.]

Oh, um... I uh... have a bunch of robots make them?

[ Okay he should probably explain. ]

Alright, so, I made my biome a fast food place, and I asked the people in charge if I could have robots making burgers. Except everything here's all vegan so I had someone teach me how to make vegan burgers taste like normal burgers, and basically the robots are making vegan burgers that are so full of stuff that they taste like normal burgers.

... Also, I bought arcade machines.

So, are you just rolling in space money at this point, or . . .?

[Teasing by way of absolutely not teasing at all. This has to be a winning business strategy.]

I mean, we get paid for this whole superhero thing, so I'm actually fine on cash. That's actually what I'm using to buy the arcade machines, so.

[Hold up. His future self has money he could be blowing through? It takes a minute to find the account information, and then-

-oh. Oh man.]

Well in that case . . . are you taking customers?

[ There's a brief second where Danny just stops. And for that brief second, he thought to himself just how much money he could get for selling normal-tasting burgers.

But then he realized how much work and organization that would involve. And nah. ]

Dude, they're free. Just come by.

[They're . . . free? Just like that? HE gives a huff of a laugh, incredulous but not about to fight him on it.]

Okay, this has to officially be the first heroic act I have seen around here. Be right there.

Don't ever let anyone say Ghost Boy isn't a hero.

El and I would like to try these burgers.

Well, my place is the one with the big flashy "Nasty Burger" sign on it. Kinda hard to miss.

Why is it called that?

Because nasty's just one letter away from tasty.

... That's their slogan.

It's lazy and misleading.

It's fast food. The entire industry's all about being lazy.

[Have a...well. Masked kid. Black domino mask with white lenses in with an unruly shock of black hair above it.]

[Remind anybody of somebody?]

[Still, the kid looks somewhere between incredulous and delighted.]

Wait. People are considered adults at fourteen here?

Yep.

Can even legally drink.

Although beer tastes like garbage, so I wouldn't recommend it.

Gosh. I mean, not that I really want to try drinking. I'm pretty sure Batman wouldn't approve of that. But that's still pretty interesting.

Yeah, like I said, I wouldn't recommend it. I tried it recently, when everyone was throwing a party and stuff, and it felt like rocks. Like, actual rocks.

Also my head was killing me the next morning and I hated it.

Always blame travel.

I do.

I'm glad we're all on the same page about this.

And for once, I'm not being sarcastic.

But you'll keep being sarcastic about everything else, yeah?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

I have a reputation to uphold.

Never too late to change.

But why though?

Obviously it's time travel.

So what age are you normally supposed to be?

Oh, I'm fourteen. I'm fine.

But we did just kind of come back from time traveling and stuff so uh. Yeah.

Why were you time travelling?

Okay so, this is gonna sound weird, so bear with me.

So Brainy got some alert about someone messing with the past, and he kept telling us about it while literally changing between different versions of himself. Not that weird for me, since I kind of know a ghost that keeps doing that mid-conversation, but anyway. So he sent us to the past, we found out some jerks were trying to kill the Justice League in their past, we stopped them, and then we got stuck in some bad future where Superman was a dictator because they helped some Joker guy set off a nuke in Metropolis. We kicked Superman's butt, then went back in time to kick Joker's butt, and then came back here.

And I'm guessing that since we stopped it, Brainy probably never sent an alert to send us to the past, so nothing probably happened now. Because time travel.

Wait, wait, wait--

How is that even possible? We have Joker locked up right now.

I'm talking about Past Joker.

So he escaped in the past and nuked Metropolis?

No, it's-- okay, so like... the guys we were fighting? They went to the past, and I guess gave Joker a nuke or something. And I mean like, a version of the Joker that never even met us, because he was so far in the past.

But yeah, he nuked Metropolis.

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