I like sports. Grab some snacks, fill a room with friends, watch a game. Go team! I don't like competitions with - ha - judges, and no, nothing to do with you. I just like it better when winning and losing isn't due to someone's opinion. Anybody can tell when someone makes a basket. A game with a score and clear rules, like baseball or rugby, that's a sport.

[ He blabs too much about sports because it's easy. It doesn't push either of their buttons, and sometimes Robbie, too, is tired of beating his head against the wall. He is hoping that, if they talk enough about sports, maybe she'll get some sort of sports-watching bug and spend an entire week watching alien sports. ]

Look, I didn't mean you were outside any jurisdiction. I meant that the no-fun rule doesn't apply here, so there's no harm in getting wild and crazy. You could have vanilla ice cream instead of a protein shake. Scandalous.

And I'll call you Beeny on one condition: you call me Rob or Robbie. I like Baldwin about as much as you'd like getting called Merry, and Mr. Baldwin's my dad.

[ Robbie smiles, because he thinks it's a fair trade and he didn't have to explain that Baldwin's what he gets called when he's screwed up. ]

I'll read it so you didn't go to all that trouble for nothing.