[video] It's how she says hello

[volving]

[ Cass is still not sure how she feels about being so far away from home, and the people she knows. True, she'd just moved to Bludhaven back home, but at least she could go visit easily, and call Babs if she needed help. Here, she is on her own.

Well, for now.

She decides to greet her new teammates with a video. She doesn't look like she could be much older than 17 or 18 at the most, and while she has the cowl of her new uniform pushed back so her face is visible, it seems to be all black, and there's the top of a potentially familiar logo on her chest. When she speaks, her voice is soft and her words are slow and deliberate. ]

Hello. I'm Batg--. [ a beat, and she squares her shoulders slightly ] I am Batman.

[ Most likely no one expected to learn that Batman was a small asian teenage girl. ]

Where can I find the... training room?

Comments

[volving]

[ Now, Cass doesn't know shitty fic, but she does know horribly unnatural-acting people, and this is just ridiculous.

How can anyone think people act like this?

Her face disappears and all that can be seen is the top of her head as she buries her face in her arms, trying to muffle her laughter. ]

[turntex]

[Dave grins, very satisfied with himself.]

There's more, but I dunno how down you are with completely unrepentantly shitty porn.

[volving]

[ It takes a couple of minutes for her to get laughing under control enough to actually focus enough to speak, a little breathless. ]

People... do not act... like that.

[turntex]

Bullshit. I don't know about you, but I for one speak exclusively in bad porn dialogue when I'm about to get down and dirty with someone.

[Based on his little smirk, he's probably joking. Probably.]

[volving]

[ The smirk, the tone, the little movements of his head, it's all a good giveaway to her. She takes a deep breath, then two, and then very unsettlingly goes completely serious. ]

It is... how we mate.

[ The twinkle in her eye is a giveaway that she's still laughing inside, though. And look! She knows how to use the word mate! ]

[turntex]

Sure is.

[Kinda awkward, isn't she? And that's coming from a guy who often ends up talking out loud to himself in mostly incoherent mumbles. She seems like she's probably trying to joke around though, so he'll roll with it.]

You should see some of the other shit that people write on these things. Or hear it, anyway. There's a sequel to this fic that involves knifeplay, because hey, what's sexier than going at your partner with a knife like they're a hot stick of butter?

[volving]

[ As someone who has been stabbed many many many times since she learned to walk, and has the scars to prove it, Cass looks VERY DISTURBED by the idea of stabbing someone being sexy ]

That is...

But knives hurt.

[turntex]

[Dave winces. Yeah, he feels that sentiment a lot. There's a lot lot of weird shit he'd be down to try out because hey why not, but he's got too much personal history with blades to be cool with that one.]

Yeah, they do. But we're learning about the world of smutty fic. No kinkshaming allowed, unless it's like watersports or something I guess.

[volving]

I don't understand... half of what you say.

[turntex]

I get that a lot, honestly. 'S not just you.

[volving]

What is kinkshaming? Kink is... the pain in your neck. When you sleep wrong.

[ That's what Barbara told her anyway. ]

[turntex]

That's one definition of the word. The other, probably more popular one, is "weird shit that helps get a person off". Knives, piss, puppets, dressing up like horses. You name it, there's a community of people on the internet who are into it and will pay good money for niche porn.

[volving]

[ There is a long thoughtful pause. Yes, now that she thinks of it, she's seen that around. People getting way too excited in ways no one else sees by twisting balloon animals, or watching people's feet.

She sighs ]

Sex is strange.

[turntex]

Welcome to adulthood.

[Says the 16 year old, with a shrug like what can you do?]

[volving]

[ Cass shakes her head.

Enough of this sex talk. This boy has made her laugh and educated her about... weird sex stuff she'll be avoiding at all costs. ]

What is your name?

[turntex]

Dave. Codename "Justin Time", but I don't really give a shit which you use. Not like I've got a secret identity to protect here.

[By the way the corner of his mouth twitches just slightly while saying the codename, it's probably pretty damn clear to her that he thinks it's hilarious.]

[volving]

[ He thinks it's funny. Why is it funny? She mouths it to herself a few times, slowly, and... well, it takes a little longer than you'd expect, because verbal jokes still have to process and that takes a lot longer than for most people.

But then it clicks, and she snorts a little. ]

Do you get there... just in time to win?

[turntex]

[That's probably one of the better responses he's gotten to his codename pun.]

I damn well try for the sake of an added layer of comedy. But nah, that's my superpower. I fuck around with time.

[volving]

Really?

[ She sounds actually curious ]

How?

[turntex]

Speeding up or reversing my own passage through time to get around fast or avoid injuries or whatever. Stopping or slowing time in a localized area in short bursts. And I'm kind of a sentient clock with how hyper aware I am of the passage of time.

[He says it in the same way a kid might recite back information for a test, and shrugs.]

'S all kiddy stuff compared to the shit I could pull off back home, but I guess this reality took one look at all that and was like woah gotta put a lid on that, this kid is an actual god and the universe won't be able to handle it.

[volving]

That's probably true.

[ ...what? It is. ]

[turntex]

[His brows arch just faintly like he's surprised to heard someone say it, but Dave doesn't argue.]

Yeah. Not gonna complain, though. This is way less stressful than keeping track of all the stable time loops I still had to complete to avoid paradoxes and doomed timelines. I'll deal with a bit of depowering in exchange for not being anxious about using time travel literally all the time.

[volving]

I'm glad I don't have to.

Remembering not to... hit too hard is enough.