Agent Washington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unrecovered) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thelegion2016-12-16 05:03 pm
unrecovered) wrote in thelegion2016-12-16 05:03 pm
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[Video] Unboxing Two: The Unboxening
[The feed flickers on to show Wash in his room, his desk stacked high with boxes and envelopes. That's about all it shows - he's framed it like that for a reason.]
I'm not sure if Valor Day or the recent meme are to blame for all of this, [He gestures at the boxes.] but I figure I might as well continue the tradition of showing off terrible fan presents. I want to see everyone else's videos too - maybe we can get a terrible fan gift white elephant exchange going or something.
...though I guess that's just a blackmail exchange.
Calling it now: two thirds of this is going to be armorshipping or whatever they're calling it now. [He doesn't sound terribly amused at the prospect, but he's too much of a realist to think otherwise.]
[He starts opening boxes and organizing the content. Evidently people were paying attention during the anon meme, because there's a lot of fresh fruit and just as much coffee, and he can't help but look pleased, even when the fruit is obviously alien and quite possibly toxic. He holds up one that's purple and red and shaped like a perfect dodecahedron, because what the fuck.]
Does anyone know what this is, or if it'll kill me if I try to eat it?
[He moves on to some of the envelopes. There's reams and reams of fanfiction; he glances at the front page of most of them, reads a choice line or two aloud, and organizes them into different piles. He's absolutely wallpapering someone's room later; he just hasn't decided whose.]
Grif, this one's about you - do you want it?
[He's smirking all the while, because obviously Grif's not going to want it, but Red Team friendship is Red Team friendship.]
[The next envelope he opens has only two sheets of paper in it. He reads a line or two and freezes, then gives it a thorough perusal, silently putting a hand over his mouth. Oh. He folds the letter back up, slides it back into the envelope, and places it back on the desk. It's a moment or two before he manages to find his voice again.]
Some of the Harrubians that wound up on Murderworld are alive because we were there. Because we helped them. It's...good to have a reminder of that, sometimes.
[He's not reading that letter aloud, and you can pry it out of his cold dead hands, but it helped. He takes a moment to compose himself.]
Anyway.
[The next box he opens springs open, revealing a very large pillow that had been very compressed. He catches it, stares for a very long moment, and turns it to face the camera. That is very much a fan-made Master Chief body pillow. There's a moment or two where Wash looks like he's trying to find the words, but...nope. He's got nothing. He just summarily drops it and moves on.]
[The next few boxes are puzzling - he opens them and finds them full of small balls with bells in them, catnip mice, feather wants, and cat treats. After the third box full of cat paraphernalia, he looks at the camera and quirks an eyebrow.]
Okay, it's a nice sentiment, but-
[Which is when a knock sounds at his door. His other eyebrow rises to join the first, and he puts the box down and heads off camera. The door opens, and there's a quiet conversation offscreen - sorry, this is fragile and had to be hand-delivered, please be careful - and then the door slides shut and Wash comes back into frame, holding a small box.]
Fragile and hand-delivered, huh.
[He sets the box down on the table, opens it carefully, and just stares in openmouthed surprise. After a few moments, he reaches in and gingerly lifts a tiny grey kitten out of the box. It mews and licks his hand as he holds it and tries to get his bearings, and slowly a smile grows on his face. This is the happiest he's been since he arrived on Legion World, and it shows.]
I guess you need a name, huh.
I'm not sure if Valor Day or the recent meme are to blame for all of this, [He gestures at the boxes.] but I figure I might as well continue the tradition of showing off terrible fan presents. I want to see everyone else's videos too - maybe we can get a terrible fan gift white elephant exchange going or something.
...though I guess that's just a blackmail exchange.
Calling it now: two thirds of this is going to be armorshipping or whatever they're calling it now. [He doesn't sound terribly amused at the prospect, but he's too much of a realist to think otherwise.]
[He starts opening boxes and organizing the content. Evidently people were paying attention during the anon meme, because there's a lot of fresh fruit and just as much coffee, and he can't help but look pleased, even when the fruit is obviously alien and quite possibly toxic. He holds up one that's purple and red and shaped like a perfect dodecahedron, because what the fuck.]
Does anyone know what this is, or if it'll kill me if I try to eat it?
[He moves on to some of the envelopes. There's reams and reams of fanfiction; he glances at the front page of most of them, reads a choice line or two aloud, and organizes them into different piles. He's absolutely wallpapering someone's room later; he just hasn't decided whose.]
Grif, this one's about you - do you want it?
[He's smirking all the while, because obviously Grif's not going to want it, but Red Team friendship is Red Team friendship.]
[The next envelope he opens has only two sheets of paper in it. He reads a line or two and freezes, then gives it a thorough perusal, silently putting a hand over his mouth. Oh. He folds the letter back up, slides it back into the envelope, and places it back on the desk. It's a moment or two before he manages to find his voice again.]
Some of the Harrubians that wound up on Murderworld are alive because we were there. Because we helped them. It's...good to have a reminder of that, sometimes.
[He's not reading that letter aloud, and you can pry it out of his cold dead hands, but it helped. He takes a moment to compose himself.]
Anyway.
[The next box he opens springs open, revealing a very large pillow that had been very compressed. He catches it, stares for a very long moment, and turns it to face the camera. That is very much a fan-made Master Chief body pillow. There's a moment or two where Wash looks like he's trying to find the words, but...nope. He's got nothing. He just summarily drops it and moves on.]
[The next few boxes are puzzling - he opens them and finds them full of small balls with bells in them, catnip mice, feather wants, and cat treats. After the third box full of cat paraphernalia, he looks at the camera and quirks an eyebrow.]
Okay, it's a nice sentiment, but-
[Which is when a knock sounds at his door. His other eyebrow rises to join the first, and he puts the box down and heads off camera. The door opens, and there's a quiet conversation offscreen - sorry, this is fragile and had to be hand-delivered, please be careful - and then the door slides shut and Wash comes back into frame, holding a small box.]
Fragile and hand-delivered, huh.
[He sets the box down on the table, opens it carefully, and just stares in openmouthed surprise. After a few moments, he reaches in and gingerly lifts a tiny grey kitten out of the box. It mews and licks his hand as he holds it and tries to get his bearings, and slowly a smile grows on his face. This is the happiest he's been since he arrived on Legion World, and it shows.]
I guess you need a name, huh.
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[ Play it cool, he likes the kitten the kitten was a good choice, hell yeah. ]
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Yeah, it's a thing. You probably have a package avalanche after that stunt we pulled on the anon meme.
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[ Look at Wash all happy. It won't make up for, well. Leaving him, baiting him for the entirety of the project or a lot of shit- but it feels like a good step forward. ]
So you've finally got a cat.
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[He lights up at that statement. Yes, he does. He finally has a cat. It's still sinking in, but the kitten insistently clinging to his hand is making it a bit more real.]
Yep. I think a few of them got together and planned this - it explains all the toys and food that came with it.
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[ South might've bitten him again. maybe. ]
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Well I do now.
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[ He takes a moment to dig in a pile and pull out what is clearly a nice faux-leather treatment with a little red ribbon bookmark. He waves it around a little before throwing it across the room in the opposite direction. It audibly knocks several objects over, but Grif doesn't even shift. ]
You need to tally those and figure out who you're engaged to. Statistically.
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Okay, one, I don't forget anything I read, so no; two, I'm pretty sure the answer to that is everyone.
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I'd kind of want to see this graph.
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...actually, he'd probably try to write his own, just to prove that everyone else is doing it wrong.
[He shudders. That is not a train of thought he wants to follow.]
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It's Donut you had to watch out for, dude. Him and his Harry Potter fanfiction. Holy shit. If he ever tries to tell you about it, just play dead.
[ Good old Red Team. It's not like he misses them. That would be stupid, right? ]
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Otherwise... playdate?
[ Robbie tilts his omnicom to show Niels the kitten, which he has screencapped for this purpose if it's not still visible on the feed. ]
Look, Niels, another cat!
[ Orange cat is not impressed. ]
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[Not!Gandalf is currently chewing on one of Wash's fingers without a care in the world. Wash couldn't be happier.]
I think I want to get him settled in before I go introducing him to other cats. You know how they can be.
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[ Kit-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named is adorable, it's true. ]
Niels is the only cat I've ever had, and he can blow up his own crate so... let's say I don't know how the normal ones work. I read a couple of books on cats, when the cat aliens were invading Springdale... but, uh. That was years ago.
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Can Mother and I come meet your cat?
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I want to get him settled in first, so yes, but not right away.
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As for my presents? Reams of fanfiction starring me and Hal, and some people are very insistent on me wearing the same outfit this universe's version of me wore.
[There are multiple replicas of the original Barry's uniform, of varying quality.]
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this is amazing
can i have the body pillow
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And no, because I don't trust you not to do something weird with it.
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itd be purely for the hilarity of it all
and also because a big pillow sounds comfy as fuck
anyway i didnt get anything nearly as ridiculous
im still the new kid on the block i dont have your legion of fans
someone sent me a ton of apple juice which is admittedly hella exciting and i got a few pairs of shades
which is frankly kind of insulting theyre acting like my shades are just a shallow aesthetic thing and any old pair will do
nope this shit is near and dear to my heart and i will accept no substitutes
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Why apple juice?
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