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[ Ken's sitting in his quarters, which he hasn't really had time to do any redecorating in yet - a clear sign of a newcomer, if the fact that you've never seen his face before wasn't your first clue. The camera's perfectly aligned and focused, he's got much better posture than one might expect from someone who looks barely old enough to be here ~~or maybe even lying about being old enough to be here, as one does~~, and the only thing that seems at all haphazard about the whole scene is the dog sitting on the couch next to him, wagging his tail cheerfully at the camera. Do dogs belong on the furniture?

Dogs always belong on the furniture, and don't tell him otherwise. ]

Hi. I'm Ken, this is Koromaru - [ - who barks.] - and we'll be joining you.

[ Yes, we. Koromaru is a hell of a dog, okay. ]

I think I've got all of the mission details pretty straight, but...I don't know, is there anything you wish somebody had told you on your first day? We've done the powers stuff before, kind of - but the space future part just feels like we fell into a comic book or something.

[ He's actually read a lot of those, but sssshhh. ]

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[Dave doesn't even consider questioning the dog thing, because. Well, being a superhero would not be the most wild thing he's ever known a dog to do. As long as this one isn't out to commit mass homicide, he's cool with it.]

theres apple juice and like five thousand flavors of ice cream in the cafeteria
granted someone actually did tell me that on my first day but it seems like pretty critical info to me

[ Well, when in Rome... ]

Is the apple juice that big of a deal?

[ Ice cream, sure, that he gets, but he's never heard someone so, uh, passionate about the presence of apple juice. ]

Edited 2016-12-16 08:14 (UTC)

[He likes this kid already.]

are you kidding it is the biggest fuckin deal
anyway
what kind of powers are you packing

Controlling light. Koromaru's the other way around, he's got darkness.

[...okay well now he's worried.]

uh
thats a little ominous
are you 100% certain that dog isnt evil or anything

Koromaru is definitely not evil!

okay but how can you be sure

I think the better question is, why does dark equate to evil?

bro are you just completely genre blind or what
willful denial of anything remotely ominous sounding will be your downfall every time

It's not like using light makes you a good person.

[ can confirm, tried to kill a dude once. ]

admittedly true
i mean i have known some light players who are pretty fuckin godawful

[i.e. vriska.]

but even still embracing the forces of darkness is some pretty borderline evil overlord shit
and i say that as a dude whos sister had a crazy grimdark phase

Dark's just another element. Or at least, that's how it works where I'm from.

[ Yeah, okay, Dark Hour, Shadows, all that stuff was bad, but it was also definitely Not The Same as being able to toss off a Mudo spell. ]

see we had light back home but not dark
unless you count the grimdark shit but that wasnt so much an element as the result of communing with eldritch horrors
void is kinda close i guess but thats pretty much just nothingness and there isnt really anything inherently evil about nothing

Edited 2016-12-18 05:45 (UTC)

Having light without the opposite just sounds weird.

light isnt really anything to do with actual light
it means like fortune or luck
and what a light player actually does with it depends on their class so its not as straightforward as your standard rpg holy light magic shit
the opposite is probably doom but again class is a biggie in how that crap gets used
id take a seer of doom over a prince of light any day

The "class" part is just making it sound even more RPG.

okay well thats because a lot of it is admittedly very rpg ish
surprise surprise the mechanics of reality are shockingly similar to video game abstractions

That seems like a gross oversimplification of reality.

[ ken, you are from an RPG shut up ]

trust me its a complete clusterfuck but im skipping the complicated parts for your sake

I'll take your word for it.

Because he's a dog and dogs are Pure and Good.

That's good reasoning too.

My dog came with me too. Do you think Koromaru might be interested in a playdate?

[Ken then receives a picture of a fluffy mop of poodle sleeping on a (human's) bed with all four legs in the air. Because of course dogs belong on furniture!]

Makkachin didn't get any powers though.

He's really cute! I bet Koro-chan would like some company.

[This child is Approved.]

Excellent, I'm sure Makkachin will be thrilled to meet a new friend.

I'm a recent arrival myself, so I haven't had a lot of time to explore the Habitat Deck yet, but the beach they made for me is great for dogs :)

I haven't even gotten my part of the Habitat Deck set up yet. The beach sounds great, though!

It doesn't take them long at all to build it! I assume they want to avoid as much homesickness as possible.

That's good to know. Naganaki Shrine isn't that big, so it couldn't take that long anyway.

a dog murdered my bro and my best friends and their parents and also me a few times
he also committed mass genocide while destroying a few populated moons but hey whos keeping kill counts

...Not your dog, surely?

[He remembers you complaining about not having your dog, Dave.]

[It takes him a sec to remember the context of his own dicking around, and for a moment he almost denies it automatically. Then he remembers that the dog part of Jack and the dog part of Jade are the same dog, and that complicates things.]

sorta

[Victor probably wouldn't have remembered it, his memory is famously terrible, except that he'd almost lost Makkachin less than 48-hours prior to the conversation and the idea of being without a dog had been especially sticky.]

???

Edited 2016-12-18 00:49 (UTC)

look its hella complicated
weird magical genetic fusions are involved
its probably best not to think about it too hard

That only intensifies the ??? sensation.

[Victor is not nearly drunk enough to understand any of that.]

But I'm sorry about your friends and family. And. You?

[What the hell is even your life, Dave?]

its cool

Wow.

Well, uh, if it helps, Koromaru helped us save the world and we'd all be dead if he hadn't bailed us out when the bad guy decided he didn't have to worry about the dog, so. He's good.

sounds like your bad guy was a fucking moron
like again with the genre blindness of course he had to worry about the dog too
in what story literally ever has leaving the dog alone while you deal with the people been a good idea
its unvariably either a hellbeast thats gonna tear you apart just for existing or its the second coming of lassie and will tear you apart out of its tear inducing love for its owners
either way youre gonna have a bad time

I don't know who Lassie is, but that one sounds about right.

Edited 2016-12-18 06:15 (UTC)

lassie is the prototypical good dog according to classic american television
but lassie is also just a regular fuckin dog with no superpowers and and im not sure how linked to pure evil that aspect is
granted the actual dog part of the shitstorm i experienced was probably more of a chaotic neutral force but i dunno that thing creeped me out long before the actual genocidal excrement hit the fan

So like if Hachiko went out and dragged his owner back from dying instead of waiting for him for years afterwards? Okay, I think I get that.

yeah pretty much
all dragging kids out of burning barns and running for help when little timmy falls in the well and shit
these problems are all pretty rural in hindsight
no idea what the urban lassie equivalent would be
whats that girl?? little timmy fell onto the subway tracks?
well hes probably dead by now sorry girl

Little Timmy sounds pretty accident prone.

yeah someone should really call cps on this kids parents
why is no one ever watching him this is all kinds of neglectful
like fuck helen where were you when little timmy was getting his head stuck in a fence huh
probably getting smashed on wine coolers with beth from next door

Would CPS actually accomplish anything?

[ Somehow nobody managed to get too concerned about dumping him as a ten-year-old into a high school dorm, where he got armed and went out to fight vicious creatures way past his curfew, so his view of how much social services actually manage to get done is perhaps a bit dim. ]

probably not
the rule of any kind of social services in america is that they are completely ineffective unless them doing their thing would make your life harder
beating the shit outta your kids? cps cant do shit for some reason
but leave the kids in the car one time because you cant afford a sitter and you have a job interview?? wow what a monster those kids are clearly better in the godawful foster system

That...sounds about like I expected.

good to know shitty social services are a universal constant

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