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thelegion2016-11-20 03:49 am
legionnpcs) wrote in thelegion2016-11-20 03:49 am
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Legion Watch | 003 [video]
[The Legion World staff maintains a feed of all Legion-related media so Legionnaires can be kept abreast of any reporting that's done on them. A segment has aired on Neutrino News about the Legionnaires and their overthrow of Murderworld. Two women appear on the screen, sitting at a desk, their appearances altered by glam filters so that one is all pink hair and skin and sparkles, and the other is all in blues. They look pretty flashy and tacky but this is the future. Reporters don't exist anymore; they're "personalities" now. More serious news outlets have already reported on the atrocities on Harrub; this is one of the fluffier retrospective programs that have aired.]
Shellee: I'm Shellee Star! [That would be the pink one.]
Tammee: And I'm Tammee Tim! [That would be the blue one.]
Together: And this is Legion Watch! [They say it in unison in the perkiest voices possible and a stylized graphic of the words "Legion Watch" appear at the bottom of the screen. Occasional clickable sidelinks pop up as the news show goes on.]
[After their peppy opening, Shellee and Tammee look a little more serious than usual.]
Shellee: Ladies and gentle-beings, we would like to warn you that today's episode of Legion Watch has some content containing extreme violence that may be considered graphic and disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
Tammee: In a disturbing turn of events, the talks between the United Planets and the UP prospective world Harrub have led to several arrests of important Harrubian officials.
Shellee: After the Harrubians signed the charter for their world to join the United Planets, subjecting them to UP law from the moment of signing, it was discovered that Harrubian government officials and other Harrubian elite were maintaining a planetoid called Murderworld, an arena where Harubbian dissidents and their families were sent to suffer through numerous crimes against sentient life.
[Video is shown of Harrubian officials getting arrested.]
[Shocking details about the horrors inside Murderworld. Listen to the personal accounts of Harrubian survivors.]
Tammee: After investigating the well-being of the Harrubians upon their historic acceptance the UP, many members of the Legion of Superheroes were reportedly kidnapped by the sentient that was running Murderworld for the Harrubians, a man that calls himself Arcade. Arcade is a dimensional displacee that is thought to fallen into our world from another dimension, who was somehow snatched away from Phelolu before the Legion detected his presence.
Shellee: Arcade then fell in with the Harrubian officials responsible for oppressing their own people, building an arena full of death traps and illegally-created genetic monstrosities.
Tammee: According to reports, several captured Legionnaires were responsible for arresting Arcade, stopping his machinations, and contacting the Science Police. Other Legionnaires neutralized Arcade's hired mercenaries inside the arena. The mercenaries that survived these encounters, like Arcade, are now in Science Police custody. Arcade, the mercenaries, and many of the corrupt Harrubian officials that backed the planetoid's use, will be facing trial in UP courts for multi-murder, among other crimes.
Shellee: Several of the arrested Harrubian officials are claiming foul play, insisting that the Legion influenced the UP to have Harrub sign despite suspicions of their wrongdoings, specifically to allow the officials to be arrested under UP law.
Tammee: However, President Wazzo had this to say about the Harrubian atrocities.
[The scene goes to Madame President at a press conference.]
President Wazzo: The Harrubians signed the UP charter knowing they were agreeing to the rule of UP law from the moment of signing onward. UP law guarantees all sentients certain rights and freedoms, which are the very foundation of civilized galactic society. If the Harrubian government agreed to providing these rights and freedoms to their citizens in ill faith, that's their own responsibility. If they didn't want to adhere to the charter, they shouldn't have signed.
[Arrested Harrubian officials swear vengeance on the Legion for what they perceive as "deceptive" practices. See the arraignment footage here.]
Shellee: In the wake of this scandal, an interim government has been arranged on Harrub. Currently the Science Police, UP government, and senior members of the Legion are helping the Harrubians install a new democratic government that respects the basic sentient rights of the Harrubian people.
Tammee: However, despite this good news, there have been some revelations in the aftermath that have left many UP citizens concerned. Yesterday, an automatic upload of footage was triggered by Science Police officers engaging in a forensic sweep of Murderworld's computers. While the upload was stopped mid-stream, footage of Harrubian dissidents and Legionnaires attempting to survive in Murderworld was released to the galactic Net.
Shellee: Due to the duress all parties were under in Murderworld, no one's actions have been deemed by the Science Police as breaking the law, but still are a cause for concern for citizens of the UP.
Tammee: Due to Arcade's upload, we have footage of several events that took place during the Arena that have caused outrage and alarm among the public.
Shellee: We must warn the audience again that this footage contains graphic violence. If you find the idea of viewing it alarming, we suggest you tune away from this program.
Tammee: Legionnaires Freelancer and Paladin were seen fighting a mercenary nicknamed "Foxface," a fight that led to extreme violence against the mercenary.
[Pidge is seen tossing a grenade at Foxface and diving off a walkway, hanging onto the edge to use the walkway to shield herself. The explosion causes Foxface to fall to a gory fate into the crusher traps. Foxface is teleported away but it's not immediately possible for the audience to tell if the mercenary survived. Wash rushes into the room, initially defensive, and after she's back on the walkway again, he turns to look at her.]
Wash: Don't ever do that again.
Shellee: It's currently unknown to us here at Legion Watch if the mercenary survived the encounter.
Tammee: Similar acts of violence were very common during the course of the arena.
[Footage is shown of Nova jamming a surrender flag in Thresh's eye. Dipper and Mabel are seen attacking the Warboys during the road war (which includes a shot of Dipper sending a thunderstick back at a car with teke and exploding it with the Warboys still inside). Wash can be seen slitting Cashmere's throat. Videl is shown fighting in a cagematch.]
Shellee: However, so were acts of cooperation and camaraderie.
[Soldier 76 and Reaper are shown working together as they fight a monster. Gwen is shown supporting an injured Videl. Sam and Jason are shown fighting a mannequin monster together. Sam is shown tackling Wiress off a cliff to save a prone and injured Rich, and then the footage fast forwards to later as the two cuddle together for warmth in the treetops as they fall asleep, with Rich using his Nova Force arm to warm them up. Grif is shown bitching to Wash, yet doing it with an odd show of faith.]
Wash: Are you okay?
Grif: It turns out the bad guy can send us wherever he wants! This is totally fair and not stupid in any way! I'm great!
Wash: Well, we already know he doesn't have any creativity or style. He's not above it. He probably cheats to make up for it.
Grif: And you know that just doesn't even make good television. Like what the fuck do you think people tune in for? There's no suspense. No drama. Cheaters are boring. He knows that if he'd left us at that barrier for like five more seconds I'm pretty sure somebody would've figured out how to take it down.
[For more public instances of Grif being disagreeable, click here.]
Tammee: Before you judge them in any way, we would like to remind the audience that the Legionnaires were suffering under considerable emotional distress. Many of these incidents were calculated to cause extreme psychological harm.
[A muttation says 'I love you, Azula' and Azula starts to shake as she breaks down, with Vance standing nearby. Grif and Ina are shown in a warthog, arguing. (It's time for the drama portion of the segment).]
Grif: CAREFUL! The faster you do things the faster they happen, and that's really fucking fast!
Ina: You're so crude!
Grif: Why is that a problem right now?!
[The footage shifts to Rich, shaking Sam.]
Rich: What the hell were you thinking?! I don't care if someone's about to put my head on a goddamn pike and put on a puppet show with it, when I tell you something's too dicey and to get somewhere safe, you get somewhere safe and you stay there!
[Back to the studio again. The two personalities show a surprising bit of maturity in what they say next. Not that it's stopped them from showing the footage at all, but at least their attitudes don't suck.]
Tammee: If anything, this footage shows us something we should have already known: that the Legionnaires are more complex than we sometimes want to accept.
Shellee: They can be alarmingly violent one moment --
[The Pines twins are shown being just that, all dressed up in war paint, as they brutally fight against one of the mercenaries.]
Tammee: --and selfless the next.
[The Pines twins are shown again in split-screen, stuck in the trap at the beginning of the arena, in their separate rooms.]
Arcade: In a few seconds, I'm going to drop the forcefields that let you reach your buttons. If neither of you hits one, you both die. But if you hit the button before your sibling does, poison gas will pour into your chamber and kill you -- but your beloved twin goes free.
[Arcade snaps his fingers and both forcefields drop.]
Arcade: They can go out into the world on a quest for vengeance, forever carrying the pain of being too afraid to--
[Both twins slam their buttons immediately, trying to save each other.]
Mabel: Blah blah blah! I'd rather die from poison than have to hear you anymore!
Arcade: Wait, what --
[The two doors open and poison gas also starts to vent into both chambers, but the doors opening allow the twins to escape.]
Arcade: No, the door buttons weren't meant to be hit simultaneously! You weren't supposed to do it right away, you were supposed to agonize over your decisions or cower in fear or --
Dipper: You actually thought we had the attention spans to reach the end of that really boring monologue you were making, but the joke's on you, Arcade! You severely overestimated us!
Shellee: Madame President had this to say about the Legion's actions...
[Back to the press conference.]
President Wazzo: With the upload of footage from Murderworld I would like to remind the public that all the Legionnaires trapped there were under conditions of extreme duress. By both UP law and Legion protocol, killing is legal under certain conditions for the defense of oneself and others. All Legionnaires that were captured refused to harm the Harrubian dissidents in the arena, and in many cases, protected them. Any killings perpetrated by the Legion were against hired mercenaries guilty of multi-murder, during circumstances where they had no means of arresting said mercenaries. Arcade himself was even arrested without being killed, due the Legionnaires that captured him recognizing that he could safely be detained for trial.
[She juts out her chin.]
President Wazzo: The UP Council and my administration stand behind the Legion. Despite circumstances of extreme psychological stress, the captured Legionnaires never forgot their duty to the innocent, nor their loyalty to one another, and because of their actions, several criminals guilty of multi-murder will be facing trial, and the people of Harrub now have a chance at a brighter future, free of oppression.
Tammee: We have presented highlights of Arcade's footage for public record, as we believe the public has the right to know about some of the events that unfolded.
Shellee: However, here at Legion Watch, we still support the Legion during their difficult time.
Tammee: And now a word from our sponsors!
[A male adult human is shown cooking at a futuristic stove and sighing. A young girl comes in to look at what he's doing.]
Teen Girl: Oh no, a fresh-cooked meal again?
Father: I know, same old, same old, right? And it's always such a hassle.
Teen Girl: I know what to do! Let's go to the store!
[The father and daughter are now in a space age supermarket and the girl picks up a massive box of something that looks vaguely like cereal.]
Teen Girl: We should try Nibbles N' Bites!
Father: What's Nibbles N' Bites?
Teen Girl: Nibbles N' Bites is premium grade human kibble, filled with all the nutrients the human body needs!
Father: Why slave over a hot stove when we can eat this? All the time!
Teen Girl: Exactly! It comes in fifty flavors, to allow for endless variety, so we never get bored!
Father: We can eat this for every meal! My days of cooking fresh meals are over!
[Several boxes in different flavors are shown. One is Tofulicious. Another is Greep. Then, of course, there's the ever-popular Chocolate, Plooberry, and Snozzleberry.]
Teen Girl: Nibbles N' Bites human kibble is perfect as a balanced, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack! With Nibble N' Bites human kibble you'll never have to cook again!
[Back in the studio, Tammee and Shellee are smiling massive smiles.]
Tammee: While the Legion's wild Murderworld actions were understandable, the public is still alarmed and mystified by the otherdimensional heroes that have entered our world.
Shellee: That's why Legion Watch is offering a new feature alongside our usual thrilling Legion news, a segment called: Legionnaire Legacies!
Tammee: Using our patented Dimensional Viewer technology, we'll be bringing you live footage from the pasts of some of your favorite dimensionally displaced Legionnaires. These profiles will allow our viewers to get the know the real people behind the Legionnaire call-signs.
Shellee: So keep an eye out for Legionnaire Legacies, a brand new segment of Legion Watch.
[Click here for more info on Legionnaire Legacies.]
Tammee: For more Legion action, be sure to keep tuning in! This is Tammee Tim!
Shellee: And Shellee Star!
Both: And this was Legion Watch!
Shellee: I'm Shellee Star! [That would be the pink one.]
Tammee: And I'm Tammee Tim! [That would be the blue one.]
Together: And this is Legion Watch! [They say it in unison in the perkiest voices possible and a stylized graphic of the words "Legion Watch" appear at the bottom of the screen. Occasional clickable sidelinks pop up as the news show goes on.]
[After their peppy opening, Shellee and Tammee look a little more serious than usual.]
Shellee: Ladies and gentle-beings, we would like to warn you that today's episode of Legion Watch has some content containing extreme violence that may be considered graphic and disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.
Tammee: In a disturbing turn of events, the talks between the United Planets and the UP prospective world Harrub have led to several arrests of important Harrubian officials.
Shellee: After the Harrubians signed the charter for their world to join the United Planets, subjecting them to UP law from the moment of signing, it was discovered that Harrubian government officials and other Harrubian elite were maintaining a planetoid called Murderworld, an arena where Harubbian dissidents and their families were sent to suffer through numerous crimes against sentient life.
[Video is shown of Harrubian officials getting arrested.]
[Shocking details about the horrors inside Murderworld. Listen to the personal accounts of Harrubian survivors.]
Tammee: After investigating the well-being of the Harrubians upon their historic acceptance the UP, many members of the Legion of Superheroes were reportedly kidnapped by the sentient that was running Murderworld for the Harrubians, a man that calls himself Arcade. Arcade is a dimensional displacee that is thought to fallen into our world from another dimension, who was somehow snatched away from Phelolu before the Legion detected his presence.
Shellee: Arcade then fell in with the Harrubian officials responsible for oppressing their own people, building an arena full of death traps and illegally-created genetic monstrosities.
Tammee: According to reports, several captured Legionnaires were responsible for arresting Arcade, stopping his machinations, and contacting the Science Police. Other Legionnaires neutralized Arcade's hired mercenaries inside the arena. The mercenaries that survived these encounters, like Arcade, are now in Science Police custody. Arcade, the mercenaries, and many of the corrupt Harrubian officials that backed the planetoid's use, will be facing trial in UP courts for multi-murder, among other crimes.
Shellee: Several of the arrested Harrubian officials are claiming foul play, insisting that the Legion influenced the UP to have Harrub sign despite suspicions of their wrongdoings, specifically to allow the officials to be arrested under UP law.
Tammee: However, President Wazzo had this to say about the Harrubian atrocities.
[The scene goes to Madame President at a press conference.]
President Wazzo: The Harrubians signed the UP charter knowing they were agreeing to the rule of UP law from the moment of signing onward. UP law guarantees all sentients certain rights and freedoms, which are the very foundation of civilized galactic society. If the Harrubian government agreed to providing these rights and freedoms to their citizens in ill faith, that's their own responsibility. If they didn't want to adhere to the charter, they shouldn't have signed.
[Arrested Harrubian officials swear vengeance on the Legion for what they perceive as "deceptive" practices. See the arraignment footage here.]
Shellee: In the wake of this scandal, an interim government has been arranged on Harrub. Currently the Science Police, UP government, and senior members of the Legion are helping the Harrubians install a new democratic government that respects the basic sentient rights of the Harrubian people.
Tammee: However, despite this good news, there have been some revelations in the aftermath that have left many UP citizens concerned. Yesterday, an automatic upload of footage was triggered by Science Police officers engaging in a forensic sweep of Murderworld's computers. While the upload was stopped mid-stream, footage of Harrubian dissidents and Legionnaires attempting to survive in Murderworld was released to the galactic Net.
Shellee: Due to the duress all parties were under in Murderworld, no one's actions have been deemed by the Science Police as breaking the law, but still are a cause for concern for citizens of the UP.
Tammee: Due to Arcade's upload, we have footage of several events that took place during the Arena that have caused outrage and alarm among the public.
Shellee: We must warn the audience again that this footage contains graphic violence. If you find the idea of viewing it alarming, we suggest you tune away from this program.
Tammee: Legionnaires Freelancer and Paladin were seen fighting a mercenary nicknamed "Foxface," a fight that led to extreme violence against the mercenary.
[Pidge is seen tossing a grenade at Foxface and diving off a walkway, hanging onto the edge to use the walkway to shield herself. The explosion causes Foxface to fall to a gory fate into the crusher traps. Foxface is teleported away but it's not immediately possible for the audience to tell if the mercenary survived. Wash rushes into the room, initially defensive, and after she's back on the walkway again, he turns to look at her.]
Wash: Don't ever do that again.
Shellee: It's currently unknown to us here at Legion Watch if the mercenary survived the encounter.
Tammee: Similar acts of violence were very common during the course of the arena.
[Footage is shown of Nova jamming a surrender flag in Thresh's eye. Dipper and Mabel are seen attacking the Warboys during the road war (which includes a shot of Dipper sending a thunderstick back at a car with teke and exploding it with the Warboys still inside). Wash can be seen slitting Cashmere's throat. Videl is shown fighting in a cagematch.]
Shellee: However, so were acts of cooperation and camaraderie.
[Soldier 76 and Reaper are shown working together as they fight a monster. Gwen is shown supporting an injured Videl. Sam and Jason are shown fighting a mannequin monster together. Sam is shown tackling Wiress off a cliff to save a prone and injured Rich, and then the footage fast forwards to later as the two cuddle together for warmth in the treetops as they fall asleep, with Rich using his Nova Force arm to warm them up. Grif is shown bitching to Wash, yet doing it with an odd show of faith.]
Wash: Are you okay?
Grif: It turns out the bad guy can send us wherever he wants! This is totally fair and not stupid in any way! I'm great!
Wash: Well, we already know he doesn't have any creativity or style. He's not above it. He probably cheats to make up for it.
Grif: And you know that just doesn't even make good television. Like what the fuck do you think people tune in for? There's no suspense. No drama. Cheaters are boring. He knows that if he'd left us at that barrier for like five more seconds I'm pretty sure somebody would've figured out how to take it down.
[For more public instances of Grif being disagreeable, click here.]
Tammee: Before you judge them in any way, we would like to remind the audience that the Legionnaires were suffering under considerable emotional distress. Many of these incidents were calculated to cause extreme psychological harm.
[A muttation says 'I love you, Azula' and Azula starts to shake as she breaks down, with Vance standing nearby. Grif and Ina are shown in a warthog, arguing. (It's time for the drama portion of the segment).]
Grif: CAREFUL! The faster you do things the faster they happen, and that's really fucking fast!
Ina: You're so crude!
Grif: Why is that a problem right now?!
[The footage shifts to Rich, shaking Sam.]
Rich: What the hell were you thinking?! I don't care if someone's about to put my head on a goddamn pike and put on a puppet show with it, when I tell you something's too dicey and to get somewhere safe, you get somewhere safe and you stay there!
[Back to the studio again. The two personalities show a surprising bit of maturity in what they say next. Not that it's stopped them from showing the footage at all, but at least their attitudes don't suck.]
Tammee: If anything, this footage shows us something we should have already known: that the Legionnaires are more complex than we sometimes want to accept.
Shellee: They can be alarmingly violent one moment --
[The Pines twins are shown being just that, all dressed up in war paint, as they brutally fight against one of the mercenaries.]
Tammee: --and selfless the next.
[The Pines twins are shown again in split-screen, stuck in the trap at the beginning of the arena, in their separate rooms.]
Arcade: In a few seconds, I'm going to drop the forcefields that let you reach your buttons. If neither of you hits one, you both die. But if you hit the button before your sibling does, poison gas will pour into your chamber and kill you -- but your beloved twin goes free.
[Arcade snaps his fingers and both forcefields drop.]
Arcade: They can go out into the world on a quest for vengeance, forever carrying the pain of being too afraid to--
[Both twins slam their buttons immediately, trying to save each other.]
Mabel: Blah blah blah! I'd rather die from poison than have to hear you anymore!
Arcade: Wait, what --
[The two doors open and poison gas also starts to vent into both chambers, but the doors opening allow the twins to escape.]
Arcade: No, the door buttons weren't meant to be hit simultaneously! You weren't supposed to do it right away, you were supposed to agonize over your decisions or cower in fear or --
Dipper: You actually thought we had the attention spans to reach the end of that really boring monologue you were making, but the joke's on you, Arcade! You severely overestimated us!
Shellee: Madame President had this to say about the Legion's actions...
[Back to the press conference.]
President Wazzo: With the upload of footage from Murderworld I would like to remind the public that all the Legionnaires trapped there were under conditions of extreme duress. By both UP law and Legion protocol, killing is legal under certain conditions for the defense of oneself and others. All Legionnaires that were captured refused to harm the Harrubian dissidents in the arena, and in many cases, protected them. Any killings perpetrated by the Legion were against hired mercenaries guilty of multi-murder, during circumstances where they had no means of arresting said mercenaries. Arcade himself was even arrested without being killed, due the Legionnaires that captured him recognizing that he could safely be detained for trial.
[She juts out her chin.]
President Wazzo: The UP Council and my administration stand behind the Legion. Despite circumstances of extreme psychological stress, the captured Legionnaires never forgot their duty to the innocent, nor their loyalty to one another, and because of their actions, several criminals guilty of multi-murder will be facing trial, and the people of Harrub now have a chance at a brighter future, free of oppression.
Tammee: We have presented highlights of Arcade's footage for public record, as we believe the public has the right to know about some of the events that unfolded.
Shellee: However, here at Legion Watch, we still support the Legion during their difficult time.
Tammee: And now a word from our sponsors!
[A male adult human is shown cooking at a futuristic stove and sighing. A young girl comes in to look at what he's doing.]
Teen Girl: Oh no, a fresh-cooked meal again?
Father: I know, same old, same old, right? And it's always such a hassle.
Teen Girl: I know what to do! Let's go to the store!
[The father and daughter are now in a space age supermarket and the girl picks up a massive box of something that looks vaguely like cereal.]
Teen Girl: We should try Nibbles N' Bites!
Father: What's Nibbles N' Bites?
Teen Girl: Nibbles N' Bites is premium grade human kibble, filled with all the nutrients the human body needs!
Father: Why slave over a hot stove when we can eat this? All the time!
Teen Girl: Exactly! It comes in fifty flavors, to allow for endless variety, so we never get bored!
Father: We can eat this for every meal! My days of cooking fresh meals are over!
[Several boxes in different flavors are shown. One is Tofulicious. Another is Greep. Then, of course, there's the ever-popular Chocolate, Plooberry, and Snozzleberry.]
Teen Girl: Nibbles N' Bites human kibble is perfect as a balanced, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack! With Nibble N' Bites human kibble you'll never have to cook again!
[Back in the studio, Tammee and Shellee are smiling massive smiles.]
Tammee: While the Legion's wild Murderworld actions were understandable, the public is still alarmed and mystified by the otherdimensional heroes that have entered our world.
Shellee: That's why Legion Watch is offering a new feature alongside our usual thrilling Legion news, a segment called: Legionnaire Legacies!
Tammee: Using our patented Dimensional Viewer technology, we'll be bringing you live footage from the pasts of some of your favorite dimensionally displaced Legionnaires. These profiles will allow our viewers to get the know the real people behind the Legionnaire call-signs.
Shellee: So keep an eye out for Legionnaire Legacies, a brand new segment of Legion Watch.
[Click here for more info on Legionnaire Legacies.]
Tammee: For more Legion action, be sure to keep tuning in! This is Tammee Tim!
Shellee: And Shellee Star!
Both: And this was Legion Watch!