[audio] Time And A Half

[prettycoolguy]

This is the Master Chief reporting.

[ His demeanor for the duration is terse and professional. ]

As some of you know, I'm not new here. I've just been away for a while due to the Time Trapper. One minute I was here and the next I was back where I came from at exactly the time I'd left. I got pulled back during the most recent wave of arrivals.

I was home for one day. In that time, several months had passed on Legion World.

[ The Chief pauses for a moment to let that sink in before he continues. ]

There are two things we should take from this: First, the Time Trapper can shift us like this. Second, time between this and other worlds appears to be meaningless.

We still don't know much, but it's something. For those of you who have time-sensitive problems on hold, I hope this offers some peace of mind.

Comments

[fragileandsoft]

Oh. Yeah that--that's good to know. Thanks for the downlow on that.

--But, uh, hang on. If you were home for a day, and months passed here, couldn't this Time Trapper guy make it work in reverse, too?

[prettycoolguy]

It's possible. But from what we've seen, the Trapper isn't interested in what's happening in our worlds. The battle with Chronoblivion is here.

I think he's moving us in the timeline to wherever we're "supposed" to be.

[ The air quotes around "supposed" are there in his voice. The Chief's still not a major fan of not knowing what's going on there. ]

[fragileandsoft]

Yeah, that math checks out, I guess.

Seems weird for him to pick and choose points where we're not "supposed" to be, but... hey, maybe that's why I'm not a cosmic being.

[ He'd argue the matter of whether "supposed" to be here at all, but it's not like Chief is the one who decides that point. ]

[kingtyrantranger]

It's a major relief to hear that. Thanks for the update.

[headinjuries]

Cool. Good to know my butt won't get kicked without me while I'm here.

[ ...does that even make sense.

Does Sam even care. ]

[prettycoolguy]

Probably doesn't think it's our place to know. I'm used to that, but it's a bit different when none of the people you're keeping in the dark volunteered.

[ He's talking about the displacement, of course. Not the Legion itself. ]

[prettycoolguy]

Welcome. If anyone else learns anything, they should do the same. Bad things happen when you don't watch your back around aliens playing chess with the universe.

[ He knows from experience. Oh how he knows. ]

[prettycoolguy]

I'm not sure that was something you had to worry about anyway.

[ It's funny, see? ]

[headinjuries]

Think we can ask him to fast forward twenty minutes when he puts us back?

[prettycoolguy]

Maybe if you're polite about it.

[ His tone is perfectly serious. ]

[headinjuries]

"Hey, Mr. Time Trapper, I would really appreciate it if you skipped the clock about twenty minutes so I don't actually have to feel that punch hit before I'm in a cast for like months of my life I'll never get back."

Y/N?

...Mr. Time Trapper? Just Mr. Trapper? It's kind of a weird name.

[prettycoolguy]

Technically, we don't even know if the Time Trapper is male.

[ Which is a small but mildly interesting point. More interesting is: ]

What's going to hit you?

[headinjuries]

Okay, but how do you politely address a...a whatever?

And I was fighting the Hulk.

He's, uh, kinda big.

voice;

[deafleppard]

So when all this is over and we've saved the multiverse, I'll go back to working at a convenience store.

Great.

voice;

[kingtyrantranger]

Wait, what if we age and we get popped back?

Like, what if we're here for a year or two and suddenly you're, like. Eighteen years old with a robot eye and you're standing there handing out change to Mrs. Smith or whatever.

video

[captainbuzzkill]

[Jason isn't the only one that's distraught over this idea.]

I didn't even think of that. Oh man, my parents are going to freak.

[Because they're good parents. He's pretty sure of that by now. He's starting to remember his past a little better.]

My sister and I were heading back home after visiting our Grunkle Stan for the summer. So if I grow a little, I guess I could probably explain things to my sister and we could pretend I just had some huge growth spurt or something, but if it's a whole year or two, what are we supposed to do?

All the adults already look like old people. Nobody will even notice if they look older. [Sorry, adults, to him you look ancient.] For people our age, they'll be able to tell. I mean, some of us have already been here a few months and it's not like we're any closer to ending all this. We only just even found out about Chronoblivion.

And what if it's not a year or two, what if it's, like, years?

[He promised his sister that they'd grow up together.]

[fragileandsoft]

Y'know, on paper, I could maybe see that? Usually that sorta thing--it's not something you're supposed to know for sure, right? Like... fate, and being where you're supposed to be... or whatever. Buuuut the point's sort of moot in this case. Not exactly subtle.

[headinjuries]

As much as I like the idea of being six inches taller...

[ God, Dipper's right. What a mess. ]

At least my mom knows about the superhero stuff, I could probably explain it to her...but school?

[ don't worry, sam, it's not like you can manage to grow those six inches anyway ]

[whyarewehere]

Six inches? Wishful thinking much?

[headinjuries]

I'm only fifteen I have plenty of time.

[prettycoolguy]

[ He exhales, thinking, before he replies. ]

We always make our own fate. Nothing about this changes that.

[ Despite the situation, it's something he takes comfort in. ]

[prettycoolguy]

Point.

[ He doesn't know. How do you address a... well, causality-bending entity of uncertain gender? ]

How big?

[ Because now he's curious. A name like "the Hulk" has that effect on people. ]

[prettycoolguy]

There are worse places to go back to.

[ It's a light observation. And, considering the state of things at home for him, extremely true. ]

[prettycoolguy]

It's still better than missing years.

[ It's the best he can do.]

[whyarewehere]

There's gonna be a record of this conversation.
When it's all over I'm gonna replay this for you.