blackmail material is eternal [video] [set during Time Ripples and before Mind Slayer]

[iamresponding]

[The young man that shows up on screen looks infinitely younger than his adultier self, despite only being just a few years younger. The Annihilation War had aged him, made little lines and wrinkles appear on his face. For someone in his late twenties, Rich could sometimes look like he was in his thirties, especially when he scowled.]

[But the Rich that shows up on the screen has only fought in one war, and most of his darker memories of the Xandar-Skrull War have been locked up tight by the Xandarians and are yet to be recovered. He doesn't remember Epyrus-7 or the way he mercy-killed both sides after they started to disintegrate. He doesn't remember the fall of Xandar, or watching Quasar get ripped apart in front of him. He's only just old enough to legally drink.]

[All the scars are gone -- figuratively and literally. His right arm is flesh and blood. The scar over the right side of his face has been replaced by perfect skin. This isn't even his ponytail phase, where he was scruffy and impulsive, but had a heart of gold. This is him at the time where he was at his most shallow, fame-obsessed, and insufferably cocky. ]

[He pops up on the screen, practically buoyant with boyish enthusiasm.]

My more-of-an-adult self left me a letter explaining this time weirdness thing that's going on. Blue blazes, I can't believe it took winding up in another universe to hit the big time, but at least it finally happened! This team is basically like the Avengers of this universe, right?

Does older me get all the babes? I bet he gets all the babes. Heck, I was looking at that anonmeme thing and it said not only did I work things out with Namorita, there were also rumors I was with a bunch of other people, too! So I guess I've just got that animal magnetism or something.

[He waves a hand vaguely at the screen.]

Now that I'm a little less grizzled than stumpy, older me looked? Please, all of you, try to restrain yourselves?

[Yes, he seems serious. 100% dead serious, like he completely believes everyone of a certain age will clearly want to jump his bones.]

And I saw him -- me -- talking about being some bigtime space war hero, too! A general! Finally, I'm not stuck with the New Warriors in the bush leagues, practically in traction.

[Yes, he's trashing his superhero team as being beneath him.]

So, tell me, does this Legion thing come with any other perks? Like, aside from getting paid? Like, can we sell rights for movie deals or something? Or get our appearance licensed for the equivalent of Happy Meal toys?

Ooh, ooh, did older me tell any cool stories about the space war? He -- I -- mentioned that it was giant evil space bugs in the letter. I bet that was all like Starship Troopers, except, y'know, cooler. On account of superpowers and actually being able to beat them and stuff. And not being anti-war satire.

[He squints at the letter, which is on the screen next to his comm display.]

Uh, the letter I wrote to myself also says "Tell Robbie to take your omnicom away" but I don't know what older me was even thinking with that. Toothpick, if you try to steal my comm, I'm gonna wedgie you at lightspeed. It also says "stay away from Grif," whoever that is.

[A pause.]

Also...Sam, is it? I guess older me let you go by Nova and he was going by Nova Prime but that's not how it works with kid sidekicks. So you're "Kid Nova" now. Don't worry about changing it, I already told the tech people that handle the roster to fix our superhero names.

[Someone steal his comm and save this man from himself.]

Comments

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie had had one of those urges to check the omnicom. Check it, or something will get buried in the feed forever. You should look at SpaceBook, you haven't looked at it in an hour. Why? Because.

Most of the time, these social media urges don't provide any important knowledges or interact, and people forget they ever had it.

But it's moments like this that make people swear that something told them to check online.

Robbie is staring at the screen. That was a lot to take in, especially since he is no longer a teenager. In fact, the youngest has become the eldest, and he is horrified to see how very kind his memory has become to his teenaged years.

And so, Robbie wades in, armed with years more knowledge and the eventual growth spurt that put him at a decent hero height and gave him actual shoulders. ]

You don't get to call the New Warriors the bush league, Kid Nova, and then expect people like me to tell you about the cool stories.

I think I'm gonna pass on taking away your omnicom, because I'm pretty sure Older You will look back on this and know why I thought you are your own punishment. If anything else goes missing or winds up somewhere you can't remember putting it, I want you to know that I'm probably going to be the one behind that. Just to prove I could.

Don't have too much fun with Grif, might endanger the good thing you've got going with Nita.

[iamresponding]

Whoa! Look at you, Toothpick, you're way less...toothpicky.

[As for the rest, he suddenly looks...slightly awkward. Like he is hedging a little bit around what he just said, even though he totally just said it.]

By bush leagues I just meant, y'know, that it was time I was on a, uh, more organized team. Y'know. Larger scale stuff. You guys are my friends and it wasn't a bad place to grow up, but...

[He looks very unsure of what he's saying, though. Normally, Robbie is so completely desperate to have the team together, he doesn't really contest it when Rich talks about the team being the kiddie leagues. He's just SO grateful to have him on the team he doesn't care how Rich acts. This is...new. Robbie having a backbone that he can't bowl over with sheer force of aggressive personlity is...weird.]

I mean, let's get real here, I've been stagnating. Not really reaching my full potential. Obviously, all this important space stuff I got involved in later on was the ticket. Exactly what I needed.

[It's a statement he's going to slam his face into a wall over when he looks back on this. Something that will, retroactively, become legitimately painful.]

[walkingballpit]

It was a great place to grow up. You don't even know the kind of options we could've ended up on if we were just a couple years younger.

[ Robbie's not upset, but... sad. They really didn't appreciate how lucky they were to be a fairly uninhibited young hero team that was actually encouraged to go cut their teeth on heroics and almost the entire New Warriors family made it to their twenties.

It's unheard of. ]

Rich, you're like twenty. You're doing fine. Why are you in such a rush to get somewhere else? You think it's all smooth sailing once you get in with the famous teams with the secret base in the mountain and the super-advanced spy jets and the politics?

[ Things that he wishes someone could say to himself at 17. ]

It's lousy, Rich. I'm not talking about the Legion, they don't need cranial-sphincterectomies. The New Warriors were a good team, and all you want to do is shit on it. I don't know - you know what? You want to know your full potential. You get arrested for solicitation.

[iamresponding]

I will not! [It comes out as almost a squeak.] What the hell, Robbie! Why would you say something like that?!

[And now he's sulking.]

I don't think it'd magically be smooth sailing or anything -- I just --

[It's challenging. This conversation cuts right through the breezy fake confidence and undercuts it, revealing it as fake. He tells himself a lot of little lies at this age. Lies he started telling himself as friends started moving on (again). Vance and Angel are Avengers, Thrash doesn't even want to be on the team anymore. Just like Bernie and Ginger Jaye and Caps graduated while he was fighting Skrulls in space, leaving him behind.]

[And he's what, flipping burgers and thwarting muggings? What even is that?]

[The New Warriors are holding him back. That's the only reason he's not as beloved by the public as Cap, or as respected by other heroes as the Fantastic Four. He's been very kind to stick around and up their profile a bit. It's a choice, not anything to do with his own value or something.]

[But still, the cockiness falters and the cracks show.]

[He doesn't actually hate the team. What he hates is his father saying his superhero stuff is a waste of time and him pointing out he's not even an Avenger like some of his superhero friends.]

It's... [He has trouble finding the words.] It's not like things are ever gonna go well in my personal life. I mean, I wanna go back to school and do something other than flipping burgers, but...

[A shrug and his voice goes quiet.]

That'll probably work out as well as it always does.

[And he's not wrong. He'll go to college but flunk out from missing class, he'll lose another fast food job for leaving early and coming in late, thanks to superheroing.]

But if I get to be an Avenger or do big important stuff in space, at least that'll mean something, right? I just...I wanna do more stuff that means something. [And it will never ever mean enough, it will never be big enough or important enough. There will always be more and more and more of himself he has to give, to be worth anything, and every mistake will undercut that worth.] You just don't understand. Everything's a big joke to you.

[Except...Robbie's not really acting that way, the way he usually does. It's confusing and uncomfortable.]

[walkingballpit]

Because it's true, and you're acting like a dick. You know things are gonna go well. You already told yourself you get to save the universe and get the girl, so what more do you want? You never get to go back and flip burgers and be normal. Yay.

[ The little stuff means something. Robbie has been trying to hammer that into his own head, for the sake of his sanity, for several years now. Every time he does something positive, it takes a pebble off the mountain of screw-ups that he's trying to erode. It shakes him to hear Rich say that, if you're not an Avenger or zooming around with your Big Important Stuff in Space, you have no meaning. ]

Everything's a joke. Right. [ Robbie huffs a laugh that is obviously not a laugh. ] Everything's a big ol' joke, and I've always got the punchline.

[ Robbie presses his lips together so hard that they disappear into his mouth, and then he powers up. ]

Guess I better get to it then. I wouldn't want to disappoint.

[iamresponding]

[This is still uncomfortable. Why does Robbie seem almost sad? What gives?]

[And he doesn't like how he's digging in with logic. He's definitely not used to being called out. Having a friend desperate for your friendship and desperate to have you around creates something of a power imbalance, but that has suddenly shifted. Now Robbie is the one with all the answers, who actually knows the future.]

[He doesn't like the laugh that isn't a laugh.]

I didn't mean nothing by it. What I said.

[And that's the truth. During this time period, he'd never really meant to be mean-spirited. He'd just been self-deluding and dumb.]

[walkingballpit]

Oh, I thought you wanted in at the adult table?

[ Robbie is all wide-eyed and fake innocence at this, using the mechanics of joking around for his own hurt and shame coming face-to-face with the worst of their naivete - and it is theirs. Robbie had been just as bad, contemporaneously. He owns this stupidity, too, or did. ]

There's no backsies with the grown-ups. Unless... you're Tony Stark. Then you get all the mulligans in the world and Cap'll just sit there with this 'derrrr well Tony's the brains so I guess I say what he says!"

[iamresponding]

Robbie, what's with you? Why would you talk about Cap like that? Cap's not like that.

[He's making it sound like Iron Man's messing something up and Cap's just okay with it?]

And Iron Man's not that bad.

[The sweet summer child.]

I mean, he's got an ego on him, but...he's not that bad.

[walkingballpit]

I like Cap. I really do, but...

[ Robbie hesitates on what to say, because he's not sure Rich could ever understand at this age, and Vance is around somewhere, soaking things up like an overeager sponge. ]

I used to respect him so much for never picking his battles and always taking a stand.

[ But he hardens completely on Iron Man not being that bad. ]

The nicest thing I can say about Tony Stark is that he cares about Tony Stark - and only Tony Stark. So he'll treat you like dirt when it benefits him or like the most important piece of his plan when that benefits him. The rest of the time, you don't even factor in, but at least that means you might not get hurt.

[iamresponding]

...Are you sure you're from the future and not an alternate universe?

[walkingballpit]

I am 100% sure you are from the same universe.

... I'm sorry about that.

[iamresponding]

The other Avengers just let it happen?

[walkingballpit]

You ever have one of those teachers who was honest enough to teach that the American Revolution didn't really have a clear "right side" and "wrong side", but the truth is so mixed up and confusing that you still go with the story rather than wrap your head around it?

It's kind of like that. It's a can of worms.

[iamresponding]

But they're, like, the example.

If they're all messed up like that, then it's mass hysteria. Cats and dogs living together.

[He's not doing the whole Ghostbusters quote, Robbie gets the idea.]

If they're not just being plain ol' heroes like they're supposed to be...who is? Somebody's gotta step up.

[walkingballpit]

Cats and dogs can together. True story.

[ ... poor Mr. Whiskers. ]

Uh. You don't want to know who the Avengers were for awhile there, buddy. You really don't. I remember something about the Thunderbolts getting a full set of action figures with variants and a couple of playsets, too.

[iamresponding]

[He looks thoughtful and it takes him a little while to get to a certain place -- and it says something about him that, somehow, even as his dumber, more thoughtless past self, he finds his way to the same place.]

Future me's like a better hero than I am now, right? He sounds like one.

[He tilts his head slightly and chews on the inside of his cheek. Reading the letter in the other conversation they've had has made him thoughtful.]

I'm gonna write him a note and tell him to do it. Sounds like somebody has to kick their butts until they get it together. If he won a whole space war, I bet he can do that, too.

It'll be kinda like the superhero version of a New Year's Resolution.

[walkingballpit]

Future you is you. He just has more experience.

[ Just like with Vance, Robbie refuses to side with negative self images and directly crush spirits. ]

You don't need to write the note. [ He's trying so hard to sound non-chalant and convincing. ] He's already past the resolution.

[ Oh please, whatever's holy, don't leave a note telling Rich he should've fixed the registration thing in a fingersnap because he won a space war. ]