Legionnaire Legacies: Speedball and Justice

[legionnpcs]

[ CW: Non-sexual child abuse (by parent), spousal abuse, patricide, self-injury, death of children, abusive other authority figures

Additional notes: 1. All the superheroes, New Warriors or not, will be identified with a chyron stating, at minimum, their codename. Most will also have team affiliation and superpower because that’s how comic books roll. 2. The links provided are totally optional. It's how holovids work, and we're taking advantage of the concept to link to a few scenes that we feel flesh things out a bit more.]

[ The Legion World staff maintains a feed of all Legion-related media so Legionnaires can be kept abreast of any reporting that's done on them. Two women appear on the screen, sitting at a desk, their appearances altered by glam filters so that one is all pink hair and skin and sparkles, and the other is all in blues. They look pretty flashy and tacky but this is the future. Reporters don't exist anymore; they're "personalities" now. ]

Shellee: I'm Shellee Star! [That would be the pink one. ]

Tammee: And I'm Tammee Tim! [That would be the blue one. ]

Shellee: Welcome to another installment of Legion Watch: Legionnaire Legacies. On this episode, we've got a treat for all you Legion Lovers! Today, we again follow the story of two Legionnaires whose lives are too intertwined to feature separately! Settle in, sentients, while we take a look at Vance Astrovik and Robbie Baldwin.



Tammee: That’s right! Justice and Speedball are our focus, but sharp-eyed fans will spot Nova, Nova Prime, and the former Legionnaire Namorita. These five are all from the same universe, and they’ve all been members of the same team of heroes: the New Warriors.

Shellee: As an aside, we were unable to find evidence of the old Warriors, so, boys, if you’re watching, we’d love to do anupdate interview to clear up a few points!

Tammee: But now, on with the show! Born a few years apart in Old New York, Vance Astrovik and Robbie Baldwin were both only children. The exact parallels of their youth end there. While Robbie's parents were often self-interested to distraction, Vance's father ruled the Astrovik household with an iron fist. A fist that he began using against his son when his metahuman powers first manifested as a child.

Shellee: It’s a rather peculiar quality of their world that humans who were born with metahuman abilities, known as “mutants” or “muties”, experienced prejudice and sometimes life-threatening violence. Speedball was spared this problem, as he gained his abilities when he was accidentally trapped in the same room with an experimental ray gun, but Justice’s mutant telekinetic ability manifested as a youth. His father responded with what we can only describe as child abuse. He seemed to believe that corporal punishment could train the mutated genes out of his young son.

Tammee: This was not a world unfamiliar with metahumans. Their world and time were very similar to 20th century Earth, with the same late century spike in superheroes that the Earth of our universe is said to have experienced. While they had no Superman, they had a team of highly trained superheroes called the Avengers, who were nearly all non-mutant metahumans. Arnold Astrovik’s treatment of the young Justice, and the Earth’s treatment of mutants in general, makes no sense.

Shellee: The beatings spurred Vance to run away at a young age, and he joined the circus as a way to get both food and shelter.

[ The sideshow of a circus! Justice is only 13 or so, from the looks of it, and he is onstage. ]



Justice: Madam... by delving into your subconscious with my mind I am able to tell you you had... a heaping... stack of... pancakes for breakfast this morning!

[ The crowd looks astonished, except for a literally stone-faced man wearing a fedora and overcoat in the crowd. That’s right, it’s the Thing. When Vance sees him, he hastily makes an exit from the stage. The scene skips ahead to their conversation. ]

Justice: Ben Grimm, is that you?

Thing: Yeah, yeah, it’s me, Squirt... but I wuzn’t plannin’ on any reunions today, if you know what I mean. Do your parents know where you are, Vance Astrovik?

Justice: Uh, yeah… I’m working my way through....

Thing: Stow the fabrications, junior... We’re miles away from your home! Listen, kid, what kinda jerk do you think I am?? I know the scam... you ran away from home... an’ you’re afraid I’m gonna turn ya! Well. you’re right!

[ The Thing has grabbed onto Vance’s arm to tow him home, apparently, but Vance will have none of it. He blasts Ben away from him with an uncontrolled burst of telekinesis. ]

Tammee: We should point out that the sentient in the hat was a superhero known as ‘The Thing’, a member of one of the most-lauded superhero teams, the Fantastic Four. He did not force Justice to return home just then. Instead, he allowed Justice to stay with him for several weeks, until the Astroviks hired a private investigator to locate their son.

Shellee: A private investigator who believed that the best course of action was to fire a gun at a frightened runaway to hold him there until his mother arrived. While Justice was allowed to officially make the decision to return home, it was a strange scene.

[ Vance is hugging his mother in a wrestling arena while the Thing and a stereotypical private investigator look on. ]

Norma Astrovik: Vance... Dad’s been away... in a therapy program. He’s trying, son. I’ve seen him... I think he’s changed... and I was hoping you’d get in touch with us, but you didn’t, so I had to send this private investigator looking for you. We just wanted you to know he’s - we’re trying, and we could use your help at home! We’ll understand if you don’t come home - but we wanted you to have the chance to decide. It’s hard, Vance... we can’t promise you life will be perfect... but remember, Dad and I do love you, no matter what.

[ Vance, teary-eyed, looks to the Thing as if for input. ]

Thing: Don’t lookit me, kid... Do what ya gotta do.

Justice: Thank you, Ben... thanks for everything I’m going to miss you.

Tammee: And so, Vance Astrovik returned home to his parents, and their lives returned to their previous normal not long thereafter. Normal for them, which is to say, it was not a very good situation for Vance. His father’s anger management therapy did not seem to address his deep-seated hatred of mutants.

Shellee: Vance created positivity for himself. When he was sixteen years old, he rather boldly approached the leader of the Avengers, Captain America, and asked if he could be considered for membership to the team.

Tammee: Captain America graciously explained that the Avengers did not consider minors - anyone under the age of 18 - to Vance, who had given himself the hero moniker of “Marvel Boy,” but he invited him to return in a few years for an audition.

Shellee: Marvel Boy was dejected, certainly, but that same afternoon he was swept up in a battle against Terrax, a villain who was threatening the entire city!

[ Footage of a pretty standard hero fight, with lots of spandex and shouting. Speedball, Nova Prime, and Namorita are also pitching in against Terrax. ]

Tammee: There now, we told you there’d be cameos. Yes, this is the day when an assortment of super-teenagers came together to form a team of their own. In fact, Speedball, too, had been previously turned down by the Avengers due to his youth, but the beauty of a youth-oriented team is that talent and skill are allowed to shine, as we have seen with the Legion of Superheroes itself!



Shellee: I don’t know why, but I think the early moments of a new team are always the most fun. Looking back at the earliest days of the Legion, I think experience has robbed them of the free-wheeling joy. The days of them throwing their hands together in the center of a huddle are long over.

Tammee: If Vance Astrovik were ever free-wheeling, it was only as a superhero. While he surrounded himself with bubbly personalities like Speedball and Namorita in his spare time, their carefree influence could not follow him home.

[ A bulky broad-shouldered man is angrily talking to a thin, downcast woman when Vance walks into the room. Vance is noticeably injured, with his arm in a sling and a compression bandage on his nose. ]

Arnold Astrovik: You’re lying to me, Norma.

Norma Astrovik: I – I’m not –

Justice: Dad – Mom – morning.

Arnold: You’re lying to me, Norma. You weren’t hurt in a motorcycle accident, were you, Vance?

Justice: Dad, listen –

[ Arnold Astrovik punches Vance in the face, with no warning. It’s obvious Vance does not defend himself, as the hit floors him and blood is pouring from his nose. ]

Norma: Vance!

Arnold: You got this way acting like a big time hero, right? Mutie freak! Playing Marvel Boy again, right?

Norma: Arnold - please –

Arnold: Who's going to pay your medical bills? Me?

Justice: The – Warriors – took care of them –

Arnold: Oh, your sick, freak friends can take care of your better than your father can?

Norma: Arnold--!

[ Norma reaches for Arnold's shoulder, but he roughly shoves her away. ]

Arnold: Norma, stay out of this! [ He turns back to Vance. ] You and your perverted friends are so much better than the rest of us, aren’t they? What did I ever do to create something like you?!

Justice: What have I done wrong? What? I-

[ Arnold is kneeling over his terrified son now, half sitting on him as he grabs Vance’s shirt and hauls him up a few inches. One meaty fist is half-cocked. ]

Arnold: You-are-a-freak! It’s going to stop – if I have to pound it out of you...

Justice: No... you won’t hit me again...

[ In a streak of pink tinged light, Arnold Astrovik is telekinetically thrown across the room and through a wall. ]

Justice: I said never again!!

Norma: Arnold?

[ She runs over to his unconscious form. ]

Norma: Oh God! Oh God. Arnold. Arnold!!

[ Norma cradles her husband in her arms. ]

Norma: Vance – he’s not moving – what have you done? Vance – what have you done?! I think he’s dead!

[ Vance looks in shock and begins to cry. ]

Justice: He – I didn’t – he –

[ Vance flees the house with a long cry of no. ]

Tammee: Arnold Astrovik died of his injuries two days later.

Shellee: We don’t condone the use of violence as a solution, and yet we here at Legion Watch are proud supporters of the Legion of Superheroes, an institution which is often forced to resort to violence in defense of sentient life. We've shown you several instances of the physical abuse that Justice was subjected to between the ages of eleven and eighteen, as well as the unwillingness of his mother and another authority figure to remove him from the dangerous situation.

Tammee: It’s important to note that, by his Earth's contemporaneous laws, Justice was a child when much of this was occurring. There was a definite responsibility to protect him from his father. Instead, Justice was forced to protect himself. While we might wish he had acted with less extremely, he was acting in defense of a life.

Shellee: Justice was arrested and eventually charged with the murder of his father. The trial was marred by questionable behavior by the prosecution. A prosecutor interrupted a meeting between Justice and his lawyer, overhearing a privileged statement about how Justice hadn’t been thinking clearly. More damaging was their decision to allow the CEO of GeneTech to testify as an expert in superpowers and specifically Justice's telekinesis ability.

Tammee: This was a critical piece of their case against Justice, but the CEO had never worked directly with the hero. He had observed Justice’s ability as the New Warriors took on the genetically modified metahumans that GeneTech used to protect their criminal pursuits.

Shellee: To be blunt, the prosecution's case rested on whether or not Justice had honed his skills to remain in constant control of his telekinesis while under extreme duress – and they used one of his enemies to help prove that in court. Would you believe Cosmic Boy to be guilty of a crime, if Brainiac 8 told you he was? What if you didn't know they were enemies, as Justice's jury was not told of GeneTech's battles with the New Warriors? [ LINK: See the courtroom testimony of New Warrior Firestar and Justice’s own mother! Both women said he did not need to use deadly force -- was their testimony equally damning? YOU be the judge! ]

Tammee: The jury did not convict Justice of murder, instead convicting him of the lesser charge of negligent homicide. At Justice’s insistence, no appeal was lodged with the court. He was committed to serving out his term. In fact, several of the New Warriors attempted a stunningly short-sighted scheme as Justice was being transferred to prison.

[ Smash cut to a crazy scene. A damaged prison van is blocking off both lanes of a road, and Nova Prime and Namorita are fighting guards armed with laser guns and jet boots. Firestar and Justice are exiting the van, and Justice stops the fight with his telekinesis so the New Warriors can all stand around shouting at each other while the remarkably patient prison guards just wait. ]

Justice: The fighting ends now! No one is going to get hurt on my account!

Namorita: We’re here to help you, Vance - to free you!

Justice: Did it ever occur to any of you that I don’t want to be freed?

Nova Prime: You what?!

Justice: I was convicted of negligent homicide by a jury of my peers. The law says I have to go to jail and that’s where I’m going.

Namorita: But you didn’t mean to do it!!

Justice: My conviction took into account the fact that it was an accident and so did the judge when she sentenced me.

Namorita: But your father beat you, Vance! You can’t just let them arrest you! You’re not a criminal! You’re not a murderer!

Justice: The law says -

Namorita: The law in this country stinks! I don’t care what it says!

Justice: It is the way it is, for better or worse. Smashing trees or beating on a bunch of guys just doing their jobs won’t change anything. I killed my father. Whether I meant to or not - and I didn’t - I’m still responsible for the act. You can quibble about the law all you want, but I believe in the system, so I’m going to abide by it. Just because I have powers that would make it tempting to ignore the law doesn’t give me the right to.

Shellee: Namorita was more right than she knew, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Spoilers!

Tammee: I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to suggest that viewers keep in mind Speedball's absence from the scene, Justice’s words and how he refused to participate in the breakout. He was paroled early in recognition of his exemplary behavior and rejoined the New Warriors a year later. [ LINK: Witness Norma Astrovik’s tragic reunion with her son!]

Shellee: Now calling himself Justice, Vance Astrovik was welcomed back to the New Warriors with open arms, and it was like he never left. Fighting time-warping alien gods like the Sphinx, continuing his education, and having board game night at the New Warriors headquarters!

Tammee: If you’re ever in a situation to be playing games with Speedball or Justice, we can confirm that games of military tactics are not their strong suit. There’s money to be made there.

Shellee: Speaking of strong in suits, he also returned to a strict fitness regime.



Tammee: Despite this dedication to a well-trained body and mind, and the camaraderie of a team, the New Warriors went their own ways shortly thereafter. Some of the young heroes wished to dedicate themselves to their schooling; others, like Justice and Firestar, were offered membership with the more prestigious Avengers team.

Shellee: Although he’d finally made it to team of his personal heroes, Justice had more personal battles of his own to fight. This time, the enemy was more insidious and recognizable to many sentients across the galaxy: self-doubt. He was constantly driven to prove that he deserved his spot on the roster.

Tammee: Even if it was to his own detriment! As an example, let’s take what happened shortly after Justice was diagnosed with a severe concussion and cautioned against activity and use of his telekinesis until the symptoms cleared up. He followed the Avengers on their next mission against medical advice.

[ Vance is sitting on the ground, leaning against a falling apart junkyard fence. Through the missing planks to the side, a huge battle is taking place. There are about six Avengers to one mech-riding villain, and the six are losing. Vance is talking to himself and sounds dazed. ]

Justice: Oh, man, what am I doing? Pushed myself - too hard - just getting here. Angel said I should fight back the impulse that I don’t belong! She’s right - I’m an Avenger! My team needs me! I’ve got to pitch in - help turn the tide... jus’ lemme close my eyes a sec--

[ After almost passing out, Vance crawls through the hole in the fence and onto a heap of junkyard shit. This is clearly the best place to fight a mech. He attacks the mech with his TK, causing the villain to stop strangling Warbird. ]

The Wasp: Justice? My god - stay out of his reach! Justice?!

[ Her warning is already too late; the machine has turned on its attacker and slammed a fist the half the size of Vance into his leg. The crack of a bone is unmistakable. ]

Justice: Oh, maaan! How’s he move so fast? Yaaaaahhh!

Wasp: Warbird! Dear lord, snap out of it and get that monster away from Justice!

[ Wasp lands beside Justice as she grows to normal size. Vance’s leg is badly broken. ]

Wasp: Vance - this isn’t heroics - it’s stupidity - oh my! That’s an open fracture! Try to keep still!

[ The battle continues to rage around them, and Iron Man has hilariously rejoined the fight. ]

Iron Man: My systems aren’t all back online yet, but Vance’s scream jolted me to my feet!

Wasp: Giant Man’s still trapped inside that thing!

[ Because clearly it’s only a good time to mention your shitty ex/husband is inside the robot after multiple people have taken a shot. Warbird and Iron Man attempt to manhandle the robot's head off, rather than shoot or punch it. ]

Justice: Tell me - where --?

Warbird: Don’t even think about it, kid!

Iron Man Pull, Warbird - before he revs up for another one of those beams! Huh? Vance -- no!

[ Vance telekinetically rips open the neck of the robot, and teeny tiny Giant Man/Ant-Man/Hank Pym you loser jumps out. ]

Giant Man: Now that’s what I’d call teamwork!

Wasp: It’s done, Vance - Hank is safe!

Justice: No - I’m inside him - I can finish this! *Uhnn* - tell me what - to do…

Giant Man: Let your TK field pour through - fill him up, and push!

Justice: I can’t - I can’t push anymore-

Iron Man: Enough, Vance! Let go!

[ The mech explodes in a TK mess. ]

Shellee: Yes, despite his injuries and insecurities, Justice still was the hero of the heroes that day. It’s a pity that not all of his teammates told him so.

[ The junkyard, post fight. Justice is being loaded into an ambulance. ]

Wasp: Despite your best efforts, Justice, it looks like you’ll live!

Iron Man: You should’ve followed Doctor Foster’s orders!

Wasp: Enough hypocrisy! Give Vance something to live for, willya?

Iron Man: I, uh- Vance - you showed real courage today...

Giant Man: He came from behind and won the blasted game, Iron Man!

Wasp: You boys and your sports analogies!

Iron Man: You acted like a true Avenger!

Annoyed EMT: Save your breath, heroes! With the pain meds we pumped into him, I doubt he heard a word you said!

Tammee: [ straightening her stack of fake papers ] How tragic that he was unable to hear the words of encouragement that had to be prodded out of his fellow heroes. Say what you will about the inexperience about the New Warriors, their support in each other was unwavering. Nevertheless, Justice would remain an Avenger for some time.

Shellee: Meanwhile, Speedball had returned to his early roots of moonlighting as an after-school superhero. He had moved from his small hometown of Springdale to the bustling 20th century New York City, and he quickly found that no one noticed a small time hero in New York the way they did in Springdale.

Tammee: New York had in excess of 100 active superheroes at the time, and solitary heroes were often incapable of handling the bigger threats. There were so many heroes combating low-level crime that there was often nothing for him to do! Is it any wonder that, only a few months later, he began attempting to reform the New Warriors?

[ A high tech, metahuman training facility that doesn’t look unlike that of the Legion. Speedball, Justice, and Firestar are working out against robots and turrets. ]

Speedball: You can’t turn me down! Firestar and Justice are the heart and soul of the New Warriors! If you guys come back, everything else will fall into place!

Firestar: Robbie, I know the New Warriors are important to you - and your new costume looks great - but Vance and I are Avengers now. And, well, we like it here.

Justice: Not to mention the fact that it’s always been my dream to be an Avenger. Remember the day we all met, fighting Terrax? That very same day I tried out for Avengers membership, and was turned down. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am now.

Firestar: Robbie, the Warriors will always be some of my best friends, but the Avengers have taught me a lot about being a hero.

Justice: You know that the Warriors are still very important to us, right? I want you to hear that, Robbie. You’re like one of the family. You’ll still see us, buddy. We’ll still get together to hang out.

Speedball: Thanks for letting me work out with you, guys. I’ll see you around. Sell-outs.

[ Speedball exits the facility quickly. ]

Firestar: Vance, did you hear -

Justice: He didn’t mean it. This is just hard on him. He’ll pull through, though.

Shellee: And pull through he did, Speedball was able to successfully reform the team without Justice and Firestar. New members came and went, as always happens with such teams, and they had a decent amount of victories until the team’s funding ran low.

Tammee: [ laughing ] We can’t all be funded by R.J. Brande!

Shellee: Unfortunately, I don’t even think R. J. Brande has the money to finance every superhero team in all time and space, and the New Warriors managed to secure their own financial backing by allowing their adventures to be packaged as a reality tele-vid.

Tammee: Our viewers are in for a real treat. We've managed to get a copy of the commercial for the series about Speedball and the other New Warriors! Follow the link to see what turn of the millennium heroism looked like! [ LINK: See the Original New Warriors tele-vid commercial! Don't worry, viewers! The poor quality of the feed is due to the 21st century production!]

Shellee: Are you telling me there was a superhero reality vid with active participation?

Tammee: Yes! Can you imagine if the Legion of Superheroes produced a vid like that? I know I'd watch it.

Shellee: You'd have plenty of time to - they'd put us out of a job.

Tammee: Oh, Shellee. They'd need color commentators.

Shellee: They'd need a lot more analysis than that, if it went the way if the New Warriors show. [ LINK: Has the bouncy personality of Speedball been faked since he was a teenager? A rare unguarded moment with a fellow New Warrior reveals all! ]

Tammee: That is unfortunately true. We promised a story in three acts, and we have now reached the second act in Justice’s and Speedball's superhero careers. It isn't as pleasant as the first, particularly for Speedball.

Shellee: No, it certainly isn't, but I promise we'll make it better with felines and sleepovers. But first, with the tele-vid struggling -

Tammee: It's a tele-vid about superheroes. I’m sure our viewers are just like me, wondering how in the stars that show could be struggling!

Shellee: It's a different world and a different time. With the New Warriors’ show desperate for an energy injection in its second season, ratings and four escaped super villains were on everyone's mind.

[ The chyron reads Stamford, Earth. Four costumed superheroes are crouched behind a fence, and they all seem to keep looking over towards a house in the distance. Speedball and Namorita are among them. Nearby, the familiar New Warriors R.V. sits, and the cameramen are not far. ]

Microbe: These guys are totally out of our league, man. No way should we be going in there.

Speedball: But think about the ratings, Microbe. This could be the best show of the entire second season. Six months we’ve been driving around the midwest looking for goofballs to fight, and the best we’ve managed so far was a bum with a spray can and a wooden leg. This could be the episode that really puts the New Warriors on the map, dude. We beat these guys and people stop bitching about Nova leaving the show to go back into space.

Tammee: What Speedball didn't know was that one of the convicts was artificially augmenting his superpowers with drugs.

Shellee: That never goes well.

Tammee: No, it doesn't. The Legion bans such measures, and the tragic consequences you’re about to see proves the rationale that ability-boosts are too dangerous and unreliable. Six hundred and twelve sentient beings were killed.

[ An older male squares off against Namorita near a yellow school bus. His eyes are glowing red. There’s a hint of the explosion starting with him, perhaps a single frame before the fiery light fills the screen. A series of shots show the effects of the explosion: a schoolyard of children, the New Warriors themselves, apartment buildings and home. All are suddenly silhouetted in orange that then overwhelms the screen. The final vid of the explosion shows it blossoming into a mushroom cloud before magnifying a speck in the top left: it’s Speedball, being thrown free of the blast like a rag doll. ]

Shellee: A terrible loss of life. Speedball was the only survivor, and they found him over 800 kilometers from the blast. He was comatose for a week, and, when he awoke, he was greeted with nothing but bad news. His three teammates were all amongst the deceased, and he was under arrest without charges.

Tammee: The government at the time was threatening to charge him with the deaths of those killed in the explosion. The promised charges varied from manslaughter to negligent homicide to murder, but they never were officially brought about.

Shellee: Meanwhile, Robbie was held as a threat to public safety. From his first day in prison, the situation was bleak.

[ Robbie is being marched along by two uniformed prison officers. He is handcuffed and clearly struggling to hide his fear. ]

Speedball: You've got to let me talk to someone... my parents... they'll want to know where I am... that I'm alive... God. Where am I? Am I even in America? Guys, seriously... I'm, like, begging you here. Don't make me beg. 'Cause it won't be pretty. Plus, you don't want to see me cry. I'm a good crier.

[ The guards remain silent, although their facial expressions show that he is not winning any sympathy. With increasing nervousness showing, Robbie presses on. ]

Speedball: Look... you guys have family, right? I mean, just let me get a message to someone. You guys look pretty smart. You know this is bull-

[ One of the guards suckerpunches him in the gut without any warning, kicking Robbie when he hits the ground. The other guard smashes Robbie's face into the concrete and hauls him to his feet. ]

Guard: Yeah... I got a family. As a matter of fact, I got a cousin in Stamford, Connecticut. I used to have. And she died 'cause some attention seeking moron in a costume decided to record a crime-fighting spree on national tv.

Speedball: It wasn't our fault. It was Nitro. I'm sorry for what happened to those people -

Guard: Not like you will be, boy!

[ Robbie is thrown back down to the ground with a sickening thump as his head hits. ]

Tammee: As you can see, the prison system in Speedball's universe is nothing like our own. We do want to point out that we found no evidence of gross mistreatment during Justice’s incarceration, but poor employee screening allowed relatives of the deceased victims to staff the prison housing Speedball, and no protective measures, like being housed away from the general population, were offered to the depowered former superhero. This was not the only beating Speedball was subjected to where the guards participated in or ignored the violence..

[ Various footage of Robbie being attacked in the mess and exercise yard, spat on, stabbed, held hostage with a hook to his throat. ]

Shellee: The legal system, too, was strange. The Superhuman Registration Act was passed in the week between Stamford and Speedball's arrest. The law stated that all vigilantes must register with the government and have their proper training verified, and it was a factor in Speedball’s arrest.

Tammee: A perfectly reasonable law with a perfectly unreasonable application. In practice, the law was used to attempt to conscript the country’s young metahumans. Legion Watch found evidence of teenagers being told that they would never be allowed to fly again if they did not register, report to a training facility, and possibly participate on a state-mandated superhero team.

Shellee: And while other vigilante superheroes were given the opportunity to register themselves or cease all vigilante activity, politics came into play when it came to Speedball. He was granted no exemption for the registration deadline, which passed while he was still comatose, and it was retroactively applied to his previous activities.

Tammee: Let’s find out what life was like for Justice while this was ongoing.

Shellee: Well, Tammee, Justice was in a much better situation, having been on Earth’s preeminent superhero team at the time of S.H.R.A. We’ve already seen how much respect the man has for the rule of law, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he registered in accordance with the act. He was given a posting at the new superhuman training facility, Camp Hammond, which … the government built on the grounds of the Stamford disaster.

Tammee: Heavy-handed and grim. It’s a good thing Justice has always been reasonable.

[ An outdoor bootcamp scene. Perhaps ten teenagers between the ages of 13 and 20 are getting screamed at by Gauntlet, who looks like your stereotypical shaved head drill sergeant except that his right forearm is inside a gauntlet that makes it about 3 times the size of his left forearm. Justice is in the distance, watching silently.

It should be highly noted that four of the teenagers are identified as former New Warriors: Rage, Slapstick, Ultragirl, and Debrii. The chyrons even include the information that they parted ways with the team amicably and before the explosion. ]

Gauntlet: In the heat of battle! In the middle of a mother-loving war - six of you broke ranks! After weeks of training. Weeks of wasting my spit on you. Trying to mold you into Avengers... six of you run off and pull this New Warriors crap?!! Rage! Hardball! Thor Girl! Ultra Girl! Cloud 9! Slapstick! Front and center!

[ While Vance watches with a frozen, inscrutable expression, Gauntlet puts the called out “trainees” through their paces with a sadistic sort of glee. ]

Gauntlet: You think I was hard on you before?! Well, guess what?! It’s back to day one, mother lovers! Night and day! Day and night! We keep at this till I knock every last ounce of New Warrior out of you!! Smell that dirt! There’s blood in that ground, son! The blood of six hundred men, women, and children... and three brain-dead superkids! Three @#$%-head New Warriors! You smell it, boy?

Mud-covered presumed male: Yes, sir! Gauntlet, sir!

Gauntlet: You’re a disgrace! To the Initiative! To your unit! And to me!

Shellee: As you can see, Justice was a moral bind. This was the height of the anti-New Warrior sentiment. Three members of his team were dead, one incarcerated, and four were being aggressively retrained. Aside from Firestar, also an Avenger, and Nova Prime, who was off-planet while this was on going -

Tammee: - I’m going to break in and say Nova Prime was the only smart one -

Shellee: Every other member of the New Warriors to this date had chosen to retire abruptly rather than face the consequences of association. The New Warriors you saw in the previous clip? None of them had been active members of the team during the Stamford Incident.

Tammee: Justice, too, had not been an active member in some time, but it didn’t help his growing resentment about their treatment and about his fellow instructors. When one of the trainees died, the situation boiled over.

Justice: Well, I have to know. Is MVP dead or alive...? Gauntlet: What? He’s dead. I told you!

Justice: But how did he - ?

Gauntlet: It was an accident, all right?

Justice: Wait, why are you so... ? It was you! It was your exercise, wasn’t it?

Gauntlet: So you sayin’ it’s my fault?!

[ The scene changes in a heartbeat. It’s clear that both men were already itching for a fight, and they’ve powered up fast. It draws the attention of students at the other side of the yard, who come running to restrain and separate their teachers. ]

Gauntlet: Say that again, you stupid New Warrior @#$%! Say it! And I’ll put you in the ground! Right next to your baby-killin’ friends!!!

Justice: Son of a @#$%! I’ll kill you!

Ultragirl: Vance! NO!

Shellee: Justice did not, in fact, kill Gauntlet that day. Or any day. The irony did not escape him that the poor planning of an instructor at Camp Hammond lead to an accident in which someone was killed... on the same grounds where the poor planning of a superhero team lead to an accident in which many were killed. Unlike Speedball and the other New Warriors, Gauntlet was allowed to make a mistake without severe repercussions.

Tammee: In response to the increasing corruption of Camp Hammond and it’s all-controlling, overseeing agency SHIELD, Vance used both his New Warriors and Avengers contacts to form a secret team that would eventually bring an end to Camp Hammond’s abuses and the Superhero Registration Act itself.

Shellee: Unfortunately, such developments would come almost a year later - far too late to prevent what was happening to Justice’s old teammate. While in prison, Speedball was visited by a government agent who explained to him that he was being offered a special “deal”, due to the high profile nature of the Stamford. As they thought he would be useful as a symbol of the success of the Registration Act, Speedball was offered his “freedom.” He would register with the government and assist in the capture of unregistered individuals under the direction of SHIELD. SHIELD is similar to the Science Police, if the Science Police were regularly engaged in borderline illegal activities outside public scrutiny.

Tammee: Asking for a lawyer, Speedball refused the arrangement and insisted that he and the other New Warriors had done everything by the book. The agent informed he was being held as an “unregistered combatant” and not as a citizen; therefore, he was no longer guaranteed any rights.

Shellee: Despite the agent’s threats, Speedball was eventually allowed to see his attorney, who encouraged him to accept the agreement. As you’ll see, his reaction was... strong.

Jen Walters: Everyone can come out of this with minimal damage. All I'm asking you to do is keep an open mind. It's an offer from the governor. You agree to register with the authorities as a costumed hero, and you get three years community service doing what you would have done anyway --

Speedball: Wait... is this an admission of guilt?

Jen: It's a compromise. They're asking you to work in an advisory capacity to help track unregistered combatants. In return, they take that designation away from you.

Speedball: But they want me to register?

Jen: It's just a slap on the wrist, Robbie.

Speedball: If I register, I'm saying we were out of control. I'm saying it was our fault.

Jen: The offer's on the table, Robbie. It's the best offer you're ever going to get.

Speedball: Tell them I'll sign --

Jen: Good. Listen, I know it stinks, but it's truly the way forward --

Speedball: Tell them I'll sign the day hell freezes over.

Tammee: To those who knew Robbie, his refusal to compromise came as no surprise. While Justice has always operated with a firm respect for the law, Speedball’s affiliation is dedicated to doing the right thing. These stances overlap most of the time, but it appeared that, to change Speedball’s mind about the plea deal, they would have to change his mind about the Stamford incident. [ LINK: See Speedball’s mother react her son’s incarceration! Justice wasn’t the only New Warrior disowned! ]

Shellee: The media and public opinion have long been capable of swaying the beliefs of the individual. The press had sensationalized the events of Stamford and laid the blame squarely on the shoulders of the young superheroes who they said had triggered the explosion by engaging Nitro and the other escaped convicts. The public was less kind, and it took a huge toll on Speedball.

[ A crowd of protestors outside a prison are shouting at a passing prison transport van. The signs they carry read 'Abandon Hope', 'Fry Sucker', and 'Burn Baldwin Burn'. Robbie and Jen are inside the vehicle, and Robbie is pressed to the window. ]

Protestor: You're a dead man, Baldwin!

Protestor: Burn in hell!

Protestor: Die, baby-killer!

Speedball: What the heck... is this what it's been like?

Jen: I tried to tell you, Robbie. You're the poster child for superhero excess right now. The TV people are having a field day because you refused to register.

Speedball: That can't have been for me, for pete's sake... I'm Speedball! Everybody loves Speedball --

Jen: That was for you. Get used to it. It may get worse.

Tammee: But everybody didn't love Speedball, and it did get worse. Robbie Baldwin was invited to talk before the American parliamentary body during hearings about the many problems with the Superhuman Registration Act. It was a public hearing, and the media covered the upcoming proceeding heavily. [ LINK: See how Speedball’s testimony before Congress was arranged by the same man who designed the prison that held him! ]

[ A shot of the Mall in front of Congress, absolutely packed with protesters and press. Speedball and Jen Walters are being lead through the crowd by a handful of suited agents. From the crush of people, it doesn't seem like enough.

Different audio has been piped in over this shot. ]

Speedball: Don't worry. This is exactly what I need. A good public flogging makes for good ratings, and that means a lot of people listening to what I have to say.

Jen: You're not exactly in a position where you should make people angry.

Speedball: I seem to have done pretty good so far. According to them, I murdered sixty innocent kids.

[ The group has made it to the stairs of the Capitol Building. A man steps out of the crowd and shoots Speedball in the stomach. It happens so quickly that the crowd explodes into chaos. ]

Shellee: The man who shot Speedball was James Stricker, the father of Sarah Stricker, one of the 60 children killed in the Stamford disaster.

Tammee: The gunshot restarted Robbie's superhuman ability and twisted it into one that only worked when he was in great pain. While unconscious, Speedball's uncontrolled power caused the ambulance taking him to the hospital to crash, killing two EMTs and injuring his lawyer.

Shellee: After recovering in a medical facility for several days, Speedball made a complete 180 in his opinion of what happened at Stamford. Taking responsibility for the first time, he accepted the previously offered plea bargain the very same day that he was returned to prison. With one condition, it should be noted. He insisted that his assailant not be prosecuted.

Tammee: While he was being protective of others involved in the events, Speedball actively worked to strip himself of even basic protections. The community service mentioned as part of the plea deal came in the form of membership with a government-run superhero team. From what we can gather, Speedball had other choices, but was assigned, partly by choice, to the Thunderbolts team... which was staffed by an assortment of “reformed” villains, half of which were being made compliant through drugs and electric shocks.

Shellee: The Legion of Superheroes it was not, and Speedball gave up on his own hero personality as well. Instead of the bouncy Speedball, he served his time as the hero known as Penance. The blue and orange uniform was replaced with composite armor that was both covered and lined with spikes. There were 612 spikes - one for each sentient killed in the Stamford explosion - and the sixty representing the deceased children were made long enough to pierce his skin every time.

Tammee: I think our viewers are likely wondering why any sentient being would want to wear a uniform like that, and we can’t say for certain what Speedball - Penance’s motivation was.

Shellee: We do have some indication of his thought process from his conversations with those around him. I’d like to caution some of our more sensitive viewers that the following vid may be upsetting.

[ A brown room, nearly empty - there is no furniture or decoration, aside from the metal and orange costume of Penance in the corner. Robbie Baldwin sits on the floor in a pair of shorts. His head is shaved, and his skin is littered with dark pink scratches and puncture wounds. The man standing over him is neatly dressed in a conservative suit. The chyron indicates that this is Norman Osborn, head of the government-authorized Thunderbolts team. ]

Osborn: She thinks you hesitated in the field, but I don’t think so. I think the constant pain makes it difficult for you to concentrate. Look at that suit. I’ve seen some things in my time, boy, but a walking iron maiden is something new to me. I don’t see how you can possibly function -

Penance: You’re wrong. The pain helps me think. It brings everything into focus. The pain... it’s the only time the world’s in color. The rest of the time? Everything’s just flat and gray.

Osborn: This would be where we wheel into a rousing chorus of “I’m not okay,” I suppose. Robbie, the C.S.A. made you my responsibility. They care about what happens to you. So do I. And I think the Penance suit is either going to kill you or get you killed.

Penance: I’d wear it all the time if I could.

Osborn: Robbie. You’re here to redeem yourself. That’s what you told the C.S.A. That’s what you told me. I’m telling you you’re going to die unless you snap out of this, boy.

Tammee: His words may have been harsh, but they were hardly unwarranted. Other vids we collected from that time period revealed that the then 18-year-old Robbie Baldwin was engaging in additional self injury and neglecting to eat. [ LINK: What did Speedball's old friend and teammate Nova Prime think of his friend's new persona? Watch as Penance unmasks before a long absent Nova! ]

Shellee: It should be noted that the room you saw in the previous vid was not a cell. It was his quarters, but it was his wish for the room to remain as spare as possible.

[ An image of Robbie in street clothes, having a cup of coffee at a diner while he writes in a journal, appears on the screen as the discussion continues. ]

Tammee: This strict self-punishment abated as his year of community service drew to a close. He wore things that weren’t his spiked armor and decorated his quarters. He spoke more. It seemed like he would fulfill his plea arrangement and continue his recovery.

Shellee: That is, it did until the leader of the Thunderbolts drugged him into a catatonic state and had him committed as revenge for a personal grievance.

Tammee: You can’t make this stuff up, Shellee! Yes, it’s true. Penance was drugged during his exit meeting with Moonstone, then leader of the Thunderbolts, with the consent of former leader Norman Osborn, who had been promoted to Director of the entire agency. Robbie Baldwin had made some powerful enemies with his smart mouth.

Shellee: Mercifully, they were content to see him transported to mental health facilities at Camp Hammond - the same Camp Hammond were Justice was working as an instructor. Out of respect for Speedball and in an attempt to keep this episode family friendly, we will not be showing you footage from this time period. Suffice to say, the mental health practices at the time were as barbaric as you learned in school, complete with padded rooms and straitjackets.

Tammee: Yet it’s amazing how well he recovered once he was no longer the target of an active conspiracy to psychically remold him into a living weapon with no sense of self to get in the way of following orders.

Shellee: This coincided, of course, with Justice’s discovery that the mysterious Penance was, in fact, his old friend Speedball.

Tammee: Finally reunited! In the chaotic days that followed, the Superhuman Registration Act was overturned, and pardons were issued to combatants on all sides. And, yes, that included Speedball, who went back to his original superhero identity for unclear reasons.

Shellee: Justice received an offer to continue training young heroes at a new boarding school which was being set up by the Avengers. It was, rather uncreatively, the Avengers Academy. He agreed to the position and pulled some strings to engineer a similar job for Speedball. While Justice was a natural, Speedball had a rocky start with the students.



Tammee: It’s clear that Justice was shepherding Speedball through the early days, and he often took the time to check in with his friend before stressful lessons and class trips, such as the day they took the students to a prison.

Shellee: With Justice’s help, he soon settled into the position. [ LINK: Take the Superhuman Ethics Class with Justice and Speedball!]

Tammee: And incidentally, for those who are curious, Justice was considered the cute teacher. [INSTANT POLL: Who’s the cute teacher, Justice or Speedball? RESULTS: Justice, 67%]

Shellee: Looks like there’s not as many Speedballers tuned in tonight.

Tammee: A year into their tenure, the Avengers Academy, which was rather dubiously located in the subatomic nanoverse, imploded on itself. We were going to impugn them for this incident, but it seems that superhero schools in their universe have a very short life-expectancy. One such school, Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youth, seems to be destroyed on a bimonthly basis.

Shellee: As the decision to build the school in the nanoverse was made prior to their hiring and Speedball was fighting planetary-sized threats hundreds of miles away when it happened, we're giving them a pass. No residents were injured, not even Speedball’s cat.

Tammee: Although the school quickly found a new home, Speedball no longer found it to be his home.

[ There is a crowd of uniformed heroes, old and young, around Speedball, who is holding Niels. ]

Speedball: There’s something I need to say. During all the... craziness… I went out and helped people who didn’t have anyone else. And they helped me. Being out there... I’d closed myself off from the world for a long time. Going back... I remembered what an amazing place it is. I’m ready to get out there again. I guess what I’m saying is… anytime you need me, just call. But as far as being full-time faculty... I’m leaving Avengers Academy.

Ant-Man: Robbie, I understand what you’re saying, but we need you. Now more than -

Justice: Hank, don’t. You weren’t there after the Stamford disaster. You didn’t see him blaming himself. Hurting himself. Drawing away from everyone and everything. If he’s ready for this… let him go.

Shellee: That is some solid advice, Justice.

Tammee: Yes. Yes, it is. Do you think he should have considered taking it himself?

Shellee: No. No, I do not. If he had, our program would end early.

Tammee: Let’s see what happened later, shall we?

[ Night. Speedball is clearly trying to quietly exit the side door of a building with a duffel bag over his shoulder and Niels the cat in one arm. Justice is leaning against the wall, in an obviously nonchalant ambush. ]

Justice: Said your goodbyes?

Speedball: All but one. What’s this I hear about you leaving too?

Justice: Guess you’re a bad influence on me. Still. I’ve been thinking. I always thought after college I’d take some time off... just get in a car and go. See America. Stuff got in the way.

Speedball: Yeah. I had that idea too. That’s kinda what our reality show was supposed to be. Go to places that didn’t have heroes and show how we could help. It all kinda went out the window when they switched on the cameras.

Justice: So... no cameras. You and me. For real this time. What do you say?

[ And Robbie just beams. ]

BOTH: ROAD TRIP!

Shellee: Yes, the idea of a road trip is an old one indeed. Whether you call it a road trip, a grand tour, a space trace, the idea is always the same. Two or more friends pile into their vehicle of choice and see all there is to see! Adventure is never far behind, and, along the way, they find themselves and reaffirm their friendship.

Tammee: ... I’m not even sure we have to show the next clip.

[ A desert scene at night, with a sky so full of stars that it’s obvious there is no city for a hundred miles. A truck is pulled over on the side of the road, and Justice and Speedball are sitting on the hood, leaning back against the windshield as they enjoy their burgers and shakes. ]

Justice: It’s just flat-out hard being a superhero without the infrastructure of the Avengers.

Speedball: We’re sticking with it. That was the plan.

Justice: But the super-villain situation in Middle America is so weak. It’s practically non-existent.

Speedball: Yeah, but you have to admit it feels good to be back in the saddle. Like when we were New Warriors.

Justice: I’m going to level with you, Robbie: this is not the New Warriors. And let’s not kid ourselves, the New Warriors were never all that glamorous to begin with.

Speedball: No, but we were real. We were trying. Maybe this is all a sign that we should try to get the band back together.

Justice: Robbie, I’m going to stop you right there. Running our truck out of gas because we wanted to eat tonight is not a sign we should bring back the New Warriors.

Speedball: Shh! Do you hear that?

[ A low hissing becomes a full on thrum, and then an undeniable SCHOOOOOM as a bright, unnatural-looking comet streaks across the sky. To anyone who has seen a Nova fly under their own steam, it is very familiar. In fact, both young men sit up, shocked. ]

Justice: Is that--?

[ Robbie clearly already accepts it and turns giddy, pulling his goggles into position. Vance has the skeptical, resigned, mildly horrified look of someone who knows he’s doomed.. ]

Justice: Oh, no.

Speedball: Oh, yeah! That was a sign, baby! We’re back!

Shellee: Despite Justice’s seeming objections, the New Warriors reformed that weekend as Speedball, Justice, and Nova - only this time, it was the young Nova.

Tammee: I’m sure everyone was wondering when he was going to turn up in this episode. Yes, the New Warriors were back, with a very impromptu sleepover.



Shellee: I don’t think the nets will ever be the same.

Tammee: Ahem, yes, the team was reformed, and it was hardly against Justice’s will. In fact, he’s recently made several impassioned arguments for why the New Warriors needs to exist, and, to Justice, it isn’t simply that they can protect and serve the public.

[ A montage of Justice, two short clips of him reassuring Scarlet Spider bookend a longer scene. ]

Justice: You’re making up for past mistakes? That’s apparently what New Warriors do now. You think you’re some kind of monster? Join the club. You don’t have to do it alone.

[ The scene shifts. ]

[ A slick, corporate style meeting room. Speedball and Justice stand, facing a seated Iron Man and Captain America. Through the window behind them, the peculiar shape of Mount Wundagore - Robbie’s choice for his area of the Habitat Deck - can be seen parked in New York Harbor.

Oh, and everyone looks pissed, except Cap. ]

Iron Man: What exactly made you think this was a good idea?

Speedball: Maybe the bit where we saved the world?

Iron Man: The New Warriors are a tarnished brand.

Justice: Did you just call us a "brand"?

Cap: You and Speedball are welcome here at the Tower, Justice, as Avengers. You know this. But we can’t ignore what happened in Stamford, Vance. There’s never been a tragedy like that before, and a lot of people still think the New Warriors are responsible for it. I think it’d be better if your team was folded into the Avengers.

Justice: Where you can watch us, is that it? Bottom line, even after everything we’ve done before and after Stamford... you don’t trust us.

[ Speedball has been watching this like an epic ping pong battle, but now he powers up a fist behind his back with glowing kinetic energy. He looks frustrated. ]

Cap: Vance...

Justice: No, you’re right. Stamford will always be a part of our past. Just like the civil war that followed is on the two of you. The reason that Mount Wundagore is in New York is because the New Warriors that you distrust so much stopped the High Evolutionary from killing millions of people. I was the only Avenger there...

[ Justice throws his Avengers ID on the table in front of Captain America. ]

Justice: And as of today, I’m no longer an Avenger. I’m a Warrior, just like Night Thrasher, Namorita, Nova... and all the other Warriors who’ve given their lives trying to do some good. Just like Speedball. You can keep the card.

[ The faintest smile is on Robbie’s face as he watches this final shot. He unclenches his fist and the energy pafs away into nothing. ]

[ The scene shifts back to the Scarlet Spider again. ]

Justice: You think you’re not good enough? Surround yourself with people who will force you to be better. You’re not a coward, and leaving is what a coward would do.

Shellee: He reminds me so much of Kid Quantum. I don’t think the New Warriors made a misstep having him as their leader.

Tammee: Whoo, me neither. I think we need to retake that poll. I’m feeling a little Justified.

Shellee: Justice has certainly grown up from the kid who dreamed of joining the A-team Avengers. Anyway, they quickly added new members, filling out their ranks just in time to get in way, way
over their heads...

Tammee: Only this time, they were far more prepared.

[ Once again, audio has been piped in over a different scene - or, in this case, several scenes. The New Warriors are fighting a rough-looking assortment of huge, superpowered bad guys, which the chyron identifies as the Eternals, when one suddenly grabs Vance and flies off through the ceiling at superspeed. Vance is driven down into the base of Mount Everest. ]

Captain America: Tell me about the weapon.

Justice: Death. It was death.

[ Justice drags himself out of the rubble and takes flight once again. His uniform is badly torn in multiple places, but he himself seems unharmed.

Smash cut to the fight once again. The New Warriors, including Speedball, are taken down one by one and strapped into some enormous engine machine. The moment it activates is obvious, because all seven heroes are suddenly writhing in pain. ]

Justice: The High Evolutionary weaponized the genetic code of anyone who was more than human. Atlanteans, Inhumans. People augmented by science or magic. Clones...and mutants.

[ Justice is approaching an expanding green bubble of energy. It clearly hurts him when he gets too close to it, and his progress falters. ]

Justice: It was an extinction wave, and the only way past it...was through it.

[ Justice shields himself heavily and flies towards the wave
again at top speed...

So, of course, the action switches back to the other New Warriors, still trapped in the glowing engine. ]

Scarlet Spider: Dammit. This is what comes of playing hero!

Speedball: Chillax -- *ngh* -- Un-Spidey... we’re just waiting on Vance.

Scarlet Spider: Vance is dead, you moron! We’re all dead!

Speedball: Nah - *hrrr* - not yet we’re not. World... world still needs saving. Vance wouldn’t want us to -

[ Whatever Speedball was going to say is lost when a bolt of pinkish telekinetic energy rips through the hovering spaceship that is housing the death machine, making it crash to the surface. When the dust settles, the seven Warriors are no longer caught in the machine. They are safely ensconced in a telekinetic bubble, and an extremely pissed off Vance is approaching the Eternals. ]

Scarlet Spider: The hell was--

Speedball: That was a vintage telekinetic one-two, dude, which means we got an eleventh hour miracle. Now let’s get back to saving the world.

Justice: It’s safe from this. No more death rays, Wyndham. It’s time for you to face justice.

Wyndham: Destroy him.

[ Vance continues to approach Wyndham unmolested, because the other New Warriors systematically take down every Eternal that tries to intervene. ]

Justice: It’s over.

Tammee: And so’s the show! We’d show you the negotiation that ended the fight, but it’s nowhere near as thrilling. The New Warriors made it clear that the Eternals’ interference in human affairs would no longer be welcome or tolerated on Earth, and the Eternals simply teleported offworld.

Shellee: So, for more exciting Legion action, be sure to keep tuning in! This is Shellee Star!

Tammee: And Tammee Tim!

BOTH: And this was Legionnaire Legacies!

---

[ A montage of quick scene snippets, almost like a blooper reel, plays as the credits roll. ]

Speedball: Warriors – get your war on! War it up! Sign the War-saw treaty! Come on team, we’re in the war zone!

Justice: Robbie, will you shut up already?!

----

[ Speedball is being wrapped up by a humanoid with arms like snakes. ]

Speedball: Hey! Hey! Let go! Vance!

----

[ Justice is being attacked by a trio of orange and black cyborgs when Robbie’s energy bubbles take them out and announce his arrival. ]

Speedball: Get your war – I already did that one.

----

[ Vance takes down a cyborg with his TK. ]

Speedball: Dude. If you ever get tired of the name “Justice”, I think you should go with Ugly Stick.

----

Speedball: Well, that was horrible. Any ideas?

Justice: Only that when people say “Judgment is coming”, it’s usually bad.

Speedball: ... but just for magic people and mutants, though, right? Am I cool?

Justice: You’ve never been cool.

Speedball: Burn.

----

[ The New Warriors are squaring off with baddies. ]

Justice: Warriors, attack!

----

[ The New Warriors look fight-weary, as a wave of neon light slowly creeps towards them. ]

Speedball: Vaaaance! Foreboding light of Doom! Any ideas?

----

[ Sun Girl kicks down the door to a tavern. ]

Sun Girl: WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU!

[ No one even looks up. ]

Sun Girl: Wow. Do I feel stupid.

Speedball: Yeah. But I liked that energy! ... we'll have to pay for that door.

----

[ Oh look, it’s another team entrance. ]

Justice: Warriors, defend!

Scarlet Spider: Defend?! That’s your new battle cry?

----

[ Scarlet Spider can’t be bothered with the guy who’s monologuing. Speedball slams into him on command. ]

Scarlet Spider: Speedball... take this idiot.

Speedball: Aw, yeah! You just got war’d!

Scarlet Spider: Don’t make me hurt you.

----

[ Justice and the Scarlet Spider argue as they fight a super-powered basketball mascot rampaging through downtown Houston. He has laser eyes and super strength and... he looks like a giant teddy
bear, literally. Someone has soundtracked the fight with “Flight of the Valkyries”. ]

Justice: Why is there a hundred-foot-tall stuffed bear attacking us?

Scarlet Spider: How should I know?

Justice: IT’S YOUR TOWN!

----

[ Robbie, with an assortment of other teenagers that includes Sam Alexander, attempts to wheedle their way into a club that not all of them are old enough for. When begging doesn’t work, they agree to
let one member ‘brain-blast’ the bouncer. To which, Robbie remarks. ]

Speedball: Good thing Vance isn’t here.

----

[ The inside of some metal, science-looking facility. A group of humanoids is standing in the corner when Nova smashes a hole into the roof and lands a few yards away. The roof is telekinetically ripped open and the rest of the New Warriors pile in. ]

Justice: New Warriors – get your war on!

Speedball: YES! I came up with that line!

----

[ A chaotic fight scene with over a dozen fighters, both New Warriors and villains. Speedball executes an insane pinball move across the melee, taking down three baddies before he finally nails the fourth, who was attempting to shoot Justice. ]

Speedball: Vance, heads up! I think! This guy! ... may not ... like you!

----

[ Yet another fight, so once more, with feeling. ]

Speedball: VANCE!

----

[ Speedball and Sun Girl stand, looking bewildered and exhausted. ]

Sun Girl: Is it always like this?

Speedball: Honestly, this is a new one even for me.