[He takes it in good humor at least, snickering softly.]

You're joking, but I've had to read shit my friends back home wrote and they are just as bad as I am if not worse. Imagine a fuckin' novel of the most literal purple prose possible. Or a whole screenplay's worth of gray capslock text.

[It's a little depressing to think about, but he's trying to be positive here. Can't get bummed every time he thinks about friends that aren't here, right?]

So what're the sides of this ship war? Who're they lookin' to set you up with? Sorry, I haven't been keeping up with fandom drama lately.