[There's a lot to unpack there, and even more that Wash needs to shake off. Coming back from being an insane, violent wreck- well, isn't that just his whole fucking life. He's pretty sure that's not what Brainy's talking about, but damned if it doesn't resonate anyway.]
[So he swallows past that particular lump in his throat and carries on.]
[He's not surprised Brainy figured out he talked with Locus - his including Locus' own helmetcam footage is a dead giveaway even if the change in his demeanor isn't, and it's an insult to everyone involved to even think that either of those would slip past Brainy.]
He took the oath. [It's simple, and a hell of a lot calmer than he was earlier.] I know that's not necessarily an indication of intent - I mean, we have Reaper, for God's sake - but the Locus I spent months fighting wouldn't have taken it at all without a reason.
[He takes a breath and thinks through his words. It's odd how much he's come to trust Brainy since he arrived - it's partially a willingness to trust the people in charge that Freelancer hadn't quite managed to kill and partially the knowledge that Brainy has seen his weaknesses and hasn't used them against him. (Yet, says his paranoia, present as ever but a little easier to ignore now.) He wouldn't say this to many other people, but, well. It's context, and it's trust.]
Look, a few years ago, I was close to where he is. Not genocidal, or anywhere near it, but still pretty fucked up. I got a second chance that I didn't deserve, and it's the only reason I'm still here. This might be his, and if he wants to take it - if he actually intends to change - then I don't think I can be the one to ruin it for him.
[He doesn't like talking about the parallels between Locus' history and his own, namely because Locus has spent a good amount of time trying to use them to justify genocide, but that doesn't mean that they're not there, or that he can continue to ignore them without consequence.]
I don't trust him - I don't think he can be trusted right now, and I think if the wrong people get their hands on him he'll be worse than ever - but that doesn't mean there's not a chance, and we need all the help we can get.
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[So he swallows past that particular lump in his throat and carries on.]
[He's not surprised Brainy figured out he talked with Locus - his including Locus' own helmetcam footage is a dead giveaway even if the change in his demeanor isn't, and it's an insult to everyone involved to even think that either of those would slip past Brainy.]
He took the oath. [It's simple, and a hell of a lot calmer than he was earlier.] I know that's not necessarily an indication of intent - I mean, we have Reaper, for God's sake - but the Locus I spent months fighting wouldn't have taken it at all without a reason.
[He takes a breath and thinks through his words. It's odd how much he's come to trust Brainy since he arrived - it's partially a willingness to trust the people in charge that Freelancer hadn't quite managed to kill and partially the knowledge that Brainy has seen his weaknesses and hasn't used them against him. (Yet, says his paranoia, present as ever but a little easier to ignore now.) He wouldn't say this to many other people, but, well. It's context, and it's trust.]
Look, a few years ago, I was close to where he is. Not genocidal, or anywhere near it, but still pretty fucked up. I got a second chance that I didn't deserve, and it's the only reason I'm still here. This might be his, and if he wants to take it - if he actually intends to change - then I don't think I can be the one to ruin it for him.
[He doesn't like talking about the parallels between Locus' history and his own, namely because Locus has spent a good amount of time trying to use them to justify genocide, but that doesn't mean that they're not there, or that he can continue to ignore them without consequence.]
I don't trust him - I don't think he can be trusted right now, and I think if the wrong people get their hands on him he'll be worse than ever - but that doesn't mean there's not a chance, and we need all the help we can get.