I'd tell you what's going on back home, but I don't even get it. Cause I guess there's infighting but nobody even knows why we're doing it.

...Or if they do, they didn't tell me?

[He imitates different voices as he goes.]

They tell me, "So Grif, the biggest threat to humankind is aliens."

And I'm like, "Okay, so you're going to send me to fight the aliens?"

But then they're all, "Nah, we're gonna put you in a box canyon with a bunch of guys in blue armor and you're supposed to shoot them."

So I ask them what's up with that and then it's just, "You have your orders, soldier!"

The good news is the blue guys care about shooting me about as much as I care about shooting them, which isn't a whole lot. Mostly.

[He shrugs.]

It's been kind of a stupid war.