Five minutes after http://thelegion.dreamwidth.org/43666.html?thread=4225170#cmt4225170

[walkingballpit]

[ The feed is an orange tabby cat. The cat is staggering around a hallway, mewling with increasing unhappiness that echoes around the large brass helmet that has engulfed its head.

Suddenly and without warning, the cat puffs up four sizes and throws itself into a wrestling match with the helmet and floor. Niels writhes and scratches at the helmet, and several times launches his haunches in the other direction, bouncing them lightly off the floor with a tiny burst of bubbles. ]

May I present the grand supreme leader of the Nova Corps, Nova Feline?

[ The cat stops when it hears Robbie's voice and beelines towards the sound of the Person who has done this horrible thing to it. The camera tracks down, just catching the impact of blind fuzzball of doom smacking into Robbie's legs at top speed.

Unfortunately, this cat is not simply going to be dazed by the impact. It goes hurtling off in the other direction, ping ponging off the walls and picking up speed. A trail of kinetic energy bubbles is left in his wake. There's a soft exhalation of 'oh shit' when Niels successfully turns a corner, but Robbie is all-in at this point.

Robbie turns the omnicom back to selfie mode and smirks. ]

Is that a big enough joke for you, Kid Nova? Don't worry - I've got a tracker on his collar, so I'll keep an eye on Niels.

I'm not helping you get your helmet though, Buckethead.

Comments

[rushing_by]

Why would you do that to a cat?

[walkingballpit]

I... that's honestly a little over the top for Niels.

[ Robbie still sounds shocked about it. ]

Like he's good with cat hats and even a watermelon helmet. I didn't think he'd freak out.

[rushing_by]

It's probably because he's stuck under something large and that I'd guess has a decent amount of weight to it. If it wasn't for the fact that he's apparently a metacat, I doubt he'd have an easy time moving around with it on.


...how do you even have a metacat, anyways?

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie takes his time with answering so he can mull over the possible reasons for Niels' displeasure. ]

Maybe. I'm starting to think you're right about the size, but I think it's more a confinement issue. You wouldn't believe what he can do to a kitty carrier.

[ He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. ]

Me and Niels got caught in the same industrial accident. A bunch of scientists wanted to study kinetic energy so they built a massive ray gun. The cat was in the lab. I went to get the cat, and they were all "safety protocols? What safety protocols?"

So... we both got zapped. Anyway, Niels went bouncing off all over Springdale, and I caught him because I figured, if anyone found him, they might find me. I didn't want either of us to spend the rest of our lives as a lab rat.

[ He feels a little selfish for this last part. ]

Besides, I want to know if anything weird's going to happen to me as I age. He's my canary.

[rushing_by]

Yeah, I guess that is a good idea. I'd probably be worried about aging too if I didn't have Jay as an example.

[walkingballpit]

Jay?

[ Forgive Robbie if he's a little confused. ]

I know you're the guy with the You-Museum, but I got to admit I haven't done the tour yet.

[rushing_by]

It wouldn't be accurate anyways. This reality had a Jay Garrick, mine technically doesn't. The Jay I know is a version of the Flash from about 2 universes over from mine, who's had his powers for ages. He's kind of a uniquely good example of what will probably happen to me when I'm older because he's actually my father's dopplegänger.

[iamresponding]

Gimme back my helmet! I'm not wrestling it back from that nightmare you call a cat.

'Sides he's even crankier wearing it than if you'd put a stupid Halloween costume on him.

[walkingballpit]

You're calling my cat a nightmare and you want my help?

[ Nope, Rich is going to have to be nicer about it than that. ]

Sir Niels the Younger was amazing. You just don't appreciate good cosplay.

[ Robbie gives him two thumbs up. ]

Everything's a big joke, huh?

[iamresponding]

What is your problem? You're acting so weird.

[Like Robbie's angry or...hurt? In a way he can't just laugh off. Rich is still fussing with his omnicom because it's not like he really got a chance to look around. Maybe there are more letters or something to explain this.]

[walkingballpit]

Right now? You. You are my problem. I'm sorry I'm not 15 anymore, and I'm not sorry that I'm not 15 anymore. I wouldn't want me at that age to hear how my best friend thought that I didn't give a shit about anything.

[ He's angry and hurt, because the misunderstanding is coming from a friend. If it were someone else saying Robbie thought everything was a joke, it would be fine. But it was Rich, and that cut deeper. ]

I don't know when you're from, but come on. Was I laughing when my mom got kidnapped? Yucking it up more than breaking the tension during the trial? What about that phone call with your brother? Jake's granny? Everything was a joke, right?

[ Robbie's eyes are stinging, because these were awful moments in team history that have gotten buried beneath the insurmountable tragedy of the Stamford disaster. Surprisingly, they still hurt when he thinks about them. ]

I'm fucking insulted. I never thought our team was a joke. Our stupid team. I always cared. I never blew it off like the rest of you did. I was there when you guys needed me.

[iamresponding]

[He doesn't know what to do here. He's at a stage in his life where he doesn't actually want to hurt people's feelings, but inevitably does, and isn't so great at dealing with it when it happens.]

[He finally manages to get around the child lock Barry put on his omnicom and he goes looking for answers, for some context that'll help him defuse this. There isn't anything in the main letter he left himself, but he finds something else...]

I don't know really how to fix this 'cause I don't -- I've never really been any good at this kind of thing.

[He doesn't know how to deal with a hurt Robbie. He's rarely ever seen him like this. During stuff with his parents sometimes, but only rarely.]

But...there's a letter on my omnicom that's labeled "open in case you get your friends pissed at you, numbnuts." And it says that if I upset you -- like, you specifically, Robbie -- I should read the following out loud:

"Dear Robbie:

If you're hearing me read this, I probably deaged during this stupid time anomaly stuff and have said something completely asinine that's gotten you genuinely upset. Please ignore my younger self's big dumb mouth that's probably saying lots of dumb things about how my dumb life isn't good enough because I'm not an Avenger or something. Alongside talking about the Warriors like the team's a joke, I've maybe also been been insulting to you, too, like by making you feel like some giant, annoying pain in my butt, instead of my friend.

As you know, all of this is total bullshit and if I'm saying it, it's during the time I was an idiot sandwich with all the fixins. The New Warriors are my family and you're practically another little brother to me. I'll always be proud to be a New Warrior and I was stupid to let my ego get in the way of our friendship all the times it did. So please forgive my stupid, big-mouthed, insensitive younger self. He knows not what he does.

Love, The Smarter, Adultier Rich

PS. Ha, bet you miss me already.

PPS. The Avengers Suck.

PPPS. Seriously, ignore younger me. His giant head is practically too big for his bucket."

[And that's all.]

Yowch. Uh.

Little harsh.

[walkingballpit]

[ He knows that Rich meant well when he left that letter, and Robbie is really touched that someone made him a consideration.

He also feels awful for his reactions being so perfectly predictable that Rich has managed to cover just about everything in one letter, with the exception, perhaps, of Robbie sort of stampeding Niels through the chutes of Legion World.

Dammit. And oops. ]

I don't think he's being harsh... look at it this way, someday you're gonna be that guy who knows how to write that letter.

And no, that's not a dig on your literacy.

[ Robbie exhales sharply through his nose. ]

I'll go corral Niels. You just... consider the PPS for awhile.

[headinjuries]

[ Robbie

Robbie you're his new favorite

No words here, just a hearty round of applause. ]

[walkingballpit]

[ Robbie bows a little. ]

My encore is letting your sister drop a bowling ball on my head, but she's not here.

[headinjuries]

Which is probably for the best.

[walkingballpit]

Do you always hate fun?

[headinjuries]

Only when Kaelynn is involved.

[walkingballpit]

Kaelynn thinks I'm awesome!

[whyarewehere]

Are you gonna be able to catch him?

[ That's... kind of a troubling cat situation brewing there, honestly. ]

[walkingballpit]

I am a cat-catching pro. He hates kitty carriers and french doors that look into a back yard and loves a good open window onto a fire escape.

Also salmon. I think I should stop by the mess and let them know that Niels' fish supply dries up until he's back on a leash.

Although, if any speedsters want to pitch in, last time we found him in Central Park.

[whyarewehere]

Not it!

[ He just wanted to figure out if it was necessary to call not it. Grif priorities. And he laughs. ]

[walkingballpit]

I was more hoping Barry would hear my prayers.

[ Look, they have a responsible speedster. ]

You'd just stuff Niels full of cheeseburger pringles, and he'd blow a hole in your armor.

[whyarewehere]

You think I'd give the cat my pringles? No chance!

I'm sure Barry will have your back, dude. Rescuing cats sounds like his kind of thing.

[walkingballpit]

Cats are deceptively good beggars. They do the big eyes, and your heart melts. If it doesn't melt fast enough, that's what claws and superpowers are for.